Wisdom from a seven year old

 As we climbed into the car this afternoon Canaan looked up and said, in all seriousness, "Mommy, wouldn't it be weird if this life we are living was really just a dream."

 He has never seen that Leonardo DiCaprio movie.

 Why would a thought like that cross his mind?

 Personally, I think that is pretty deep for a seven year old. But I have always known he was smart - I am  his mom after all. I have been there for every moment of genius!

 Are we living in a dream?

 Perhaps not literally. I don't think that we have alternate realities going on around us that we simply sleep through. But some of what we think is real probably isn't.

 The things we think we need, are often simply wants.

 The feelings we think will crush us one day are simply a forgotten memory a week later.

 The stress we carry, sometimes like a burden, but for others almost with pride, so much of it is simply imagined.

 What is real?

 I suppose each of us have to answer that on our own.

 My Mom told me this week that she wasn't giving up on my dream. I was going to have a daughter some day. She may not come from Africa, like we originally thought, and obviously, my boys are going to be a good bit older by the time they get a little sister, but my Mom is not giving up on my dream.
 Even though I had for awhile.

 The middle of March was Gladdy's fifth birthday. The first week of April was my due date for Anastasia. She would be three. I don't have either of them to celebrate with.

 What is real?

 Gladdy is home, where she belongs, with parents who love her and worked for her and prayed for her. That is what I have to believe. She may not be mine, but she is home.

 Anastasia dances before Jesus. She knows only joy. She, also, is home.

I, I have a seven year old full of wisdom, 

 A five year old full of fire,  

 And a tiny ember of a dream, still holding on, deep down inside. Maybe they will get to have a little sister some day? (although truly, I don't really care if we get a girl or a boy. I am just not ready to say we are done yet. Zion doesn't want to be the "baby" of the family.)

 I try to live in reality, truly I do. But a little dream now and then can't hurt!
                  
                                                                         Blessings,

Branching

I'm down at Ft. Benning this weekend to see Andy graduate into the second phase of officer candidate school. This afternoon he got to choose what branch of the army he was going to devote his life to. There were only certain choices available, and his first choices were already taken, but we are happy to be Chemical. We prayed for God to put us where we could best be used, and trust that He will help us live that prayer to it's fullest.

At the ceremony celebrating this next step they had a guest speaker. He had a career similar to Andy's. 8 years enlisted, then followed up with OCS. He graduated in 1967 though! At the end of his encouraging speech he read a prayer that he has carried with him from his time on the army football team back in his enlisted years. I thought it was beautiful and wanted to share.

Dear God,
Help me to be a sport in this little game of life. I don't ask for any place in the line-up. Play me where you need me. I only ask for the stuff to give you one hundred percent of what I've got. If all the hard drives come my way I thank you for the compliment. Help me to remember that you won't let anything come that you and I together can't handle. Help make me to take the bad breaks as part of the game. Help make me thankful for them.
And God, help me to always play fair, no matter what the other players do. Help me to come clean. Help me to see that often the best part of the game is helping others. Finally God, if fate seems to uppercut me with both hands, and I'm laid up on the shelf in sickness or old age, help me to take that as part of the game also. Help me not to whimper or squeal that the game was a frame-up or that I had a raw deal. When in the dusk, I get the final bell, I ask for no lying complimentary stories. I'd only like to know that I've been a good guy.

Well said. I guess Amen is what sums that up. Blessings,

The new normal

 It is amazing how quickly you settle into the new "normal". Andy has been gone for 10 weeks now, and his space has been filled.

 That sounds ugly, and I don't mean it that way.

 You can ask my Mom and sisters, who have to put up with the sighs and comments - I spend LOTS of time thinking about Andy. Talking about him. Pulling out pictures. Reciting stupid little stories of our "early days". I even took the boys over to see the exact spot where I first met their daddy. Yes, I remember. Or at least, I can get within 50 feet or so of the exact spot. Shorter University isn't that big. I certainly remember the exact moment.

 But that huge empty hole in the schedule of every day life?

 Gone.

 Those moments in the "depths of despair"?

 They have passed.

 That is the thing about military life. You adjust.

 I get to talk to him every day. Sometimes we have 15 or 20 minutes of sharing the boys latest escapades and hearing about his adventures and mishaps. Other times he literally just calls to say "I love you." I actually got an entire hour the Saturday before last.

 But day to day life; school, dinner, the books I read and even the tragedy of curling up in bed by myself.

 Andy, or the lack of Andy, isn't playing as important of a role anymore. It simply is what it is.

 We get to visit  him this weekend. I am so filled with excitement and anticipation that I can promise you  most of this week will simply be a countdown. We get 48 entire hours with him.

 A visit.

 But only a visit.

 Then we come back and remind ourselves that we live here, and he lives there.

 For now.

 Come June, we will have to figure out how to live together again.

 Ah, military life...

 However, even while insanely busy my love found a few minutes to txt his best friend and ask that he have flowers delivered for me.

 Just because.

 Over and over again he has proven himself to be someone worth missing.

 Life is good, even when it is hard.  Blessings,

Tangled Dreams, attempt number 2

  I spent several hours the night before last writing about dreams. Rapunzel, or rather her movie, "Tangled", had me thinking deep thoughts. She sets out on a mission: to see the lights she has always dreamed about. She inspires those around her to remember, and live for, the dreams they may have set aside. So I wrote about my dreams, and tried to inspire you, my readers, to remember yours.

 But with one careless click, my musings disappeared.

 Just like quite a few of my dreams.

 Ironic, isn't it?

 "Tangled" really is an appropriate title. How often those things we dream about, wish for, invest ourselves in.... they are not simple, or clear cut, or easy. Rather, they are mixed together and messed up and tangled into a mass of confusion.

 But they are still our dreams.


 I'm not sure where some of my dreams are headed right now. However, I know how to wait. Hopefully with patience and grace! And like Rapunzel, I can keep myself busy in the meantime. I may not be able to paint the world that surrounds me, but I am having fun capturing it in my own way.

 Yesterday I had a chance to take family photos and "belly shots" for one of my best friends. 

I took nearly 400. 

 These are a few of my favorites. 

 I had to blow this one up so you can see her face. It isn't as clear, because for some reason pictures get blurry when I make them extra large, but I just love her expression in this picture! 

Aren't they a beautiful family? 

I can't wait to meet little Ruby! 

(and hopefully take some great pictures of her too)

Dreams -
 I might not get everything I want, right when I want it. But I sure do like having a camera to keep me busy in the meantime!              
                                                                     Blessings,

Where we've been - part 2 Warner Robbins

Riding Bikes-

 This was David's first time without training wheels

 He was so busy smiling for the camera...

 CHEESE!

...that he almost forgot to watch where he was going! 

 Proud Mommy and Daddy! 

Of course, Zion needed a picture on his cool bike too. 

Cheesing it up - 

Evalina, the princess, and little sister of 5, yes FIVE, big brothers. 

I feel sorry for her boyfriends in 20 years!

This following look is called "The Quentin" 

(that is their daddy's name... and they all love to copy him!)

Jared

 Caleb

Devin

David

Well, all except Andre. He is too old for silly faces. 

The only face I got from him was the "please stop taking my picture" face. 

Ice Cream- 

Oh, the anticipation!

 "Sugar", eating sugar!

Sugar, on top of sugar.

That is some serious ice cream eating!

You caught me!

Just being beautiful-

 One of my favorite pictures!

Notice his slightly glassy eyes? 

He woke up with a fever in the night, and ended up having strep throat! 

Poor thing!

Luckily, we have avoided it here, although, April has arrived, and Tri-care is back on track, so we have local doctors and full insurance again. Just in case... 

Zion loved the stuffed snake. 

Andre, the oldest, managed to avoid the camera most thoroughly. 

I have no good pictures of him! 

The beautiful mommy, and silly daddy too.  

I am feeling the need to write, really write. But after yet another weekend away from home, I am also feeling the need to sleep. So for now, pictures are all I am capable of. Words are building up, and ready to overflow. I will apologize in advance if they drown anyone when they come out in a flood! In the meantime,

Blessings, 

Where we've been - part 1 Valdosta

The backyard-

A pouty princess

 who just wanted a push on the swing.

 Silly boys in the hammock,

 and in a castle.

A windy afternoon at the park-

 Adorable shoes...

Smiling faces

Serious faces too

 Little bit was curious 

 Would those pokey round things taste good? 

 Nope!

 After mommy stepped in...

he pulled out his hidden stash for a second time of "exploration"...

Steak and Shake-

Are words needed?

 Some for you?

All done! 

(for now)

Blessings,