The Joy of the Lord

When I was first reminded of this verse, early this morning, it seemed so very fitting for today’s events- covid testing, final meeting with the surgeon, pre-op appointments. How comforting. 

 Then, today has not gone as I wished, and I have been so very glad of that reminder... my body is the temple of the Holy Spirit. 

 Right this minute, as we drive away from Birmingham, I don’t actually know when I am going to have my surgery. The MRI that guides the drill as it goes into my brain is not working and the MRI is very needed. So, it is all put on hold “for now”. There will hopefully be more details tomorrow, but I didn’t have any of the pre-op appointments today, so the surgery definitely will not be tomorrow. The best guess given when they called to break my heart this morning was “sometime in the next month.” 

 We had literally just pulled into the parking deck of the hospital, 45 min early for the covid test, when they called. I cried. Andy might have said a curse word. We pulled back out of the deck, drove about five minutes down the road and realized that we needed to stop and be still. So we stopped and prayed, together, and were still, together, and shared pain and hurt and anger, together. 

 And we texted our family- and let me tell you, they are amazing. Both the blood ones and the practically blood ones. The people who I know love me enough to hear what I need them to hear in a moment like that- well, that is what makes family. Andy texted two men. I texted seven women. They all spoke beautiful truth and comfort but I think my Mother-in-law summed it up the best. “Better for it to break now, than while you are in surgery.” 

 That reminder was the truth I needed to hear. God sees the bigger picture. He sees more than I do. And if I am going to say that I trust Him, I better mean it. So, I do. 

 I say “I trust Him” and I mean it. 

That verse in Nehemiah, “The Joy of the Lord is my strength”, is one of my favorites. Strength is built up, one muscle at a time through exercise. You lift more and more through practice. Joy has been the same- practicing joy in hard times, choosing to exercise that muscle has made it stronger and stronger. Today was hard, but I am building that muscle, letting that Joy be my strength! What a beautiful promise! 

 We have no idea what tomorrow brings. Perhaps the machine will be fixed and rescheduling will be easy. Perhaps it will be weeks until I know more. Perhaps I will never have this surgery and living while proclaiming joy as my strength is my focus right now. 

 I have no idea what tomorrow brings...and that is okay. 

 Remember that my friends. 

 Be blessed, one moment at a time, as you face that moment with Joy! 

Holding on with both hands

“Put your heart and soul into every activity you do, as though you are doing it for the Lord himself and not merely for others.”

‭‭Colossians‬ ‭3:23‬ ‭TPT‬‬

 My activities recently have been “boring”. Work in the garden. Do the dishes and laundry. Try to get rid of things and organize the things I can’t let go of. 

 Paint and paint and paint. 

 Our house isn’t that old, but the interior paint is beginning to show it’s age. We have, step by step, room by room, primed and painted almost the whole house in the three years we have lived here. The ceilings are complicated but not horrific. The walls are easy. Corners between doors are probably then hardest part, but we have created beautiful teamwork as a family to accomplish them. Truly, they aren’t that horrible.
 But I DESPISE painting. Or, if you asked me a few weeks ago, that is what I would have told you.
 The OCD part of my personality struggles with the details that cannot be perfect, because perfection does not exist. The eco friendly passion within me struggles with the fear of damaging the earth.
 That photo, of paint rollers lined up neatly next to the primer in the middle of the job, shows some personality traits of multiple people in this home.

Yet, the scripture verse insisted that I pay attention to it.
 “Whatever you do”...

 What about what I am doing next?
 I am suppose to go into brain surgery “working for the Lord”. This next section of my life, that I have very little control of, well, I have control over how I go into it.

 My epilepsy had been problematic this last 4-6 weeks. The extra meds aren’t being enough, again. I had three seizures on Tuesday. I now occasionally have seizures I don’t recognize, and don’t have aura’s to warn me about...but Andy or the boys “discover” me confused and shivering afterwards with no remembrance of what happened. We don’t know how many of those I have had... just how many have been noticed.

 So, as frightening as brain surgery is, it also sounds promising.

 “...For the Lord”.

Or if you prefer...

“She girds herself with strength And makes her arms strong.”

‭‭Proverbs‬ ‭31:17‬ ‭NASB‬‬

 Both wrapping yourself and girding yourself require the strength to already be there, to be provided to you. I am not claiming it as my own, merely reaching out and holding on with both hands.

 I have learned to appreciate painting the house. I have discovered how to enjoy laundry and dishes and daily chores. I am choosing to approach brain surgery with the full passion of hope, doing all things with my attitude focused on Him.

 Join me?
 One week left.

The story continues...

Remember the new growth springing up from the ashes in the back yard? 

 Look how much it has grown! 

The green growth is still reaching toward the sky with praise filled arms. 

The beautiful red has declared it’s purpose and shown it’s glory. 

(And tasted delicious) 😋 

The story continues. 

Remember the broken branch? 

It looks sad at first glance. 

The tomatoes near by have been harvested. 

Many leaves have accomplished their purpose, turned brown and volunteered for their time of rest.  

But wait....

That new growth is from it!

New life, new green, new tomatoes- farther away, but still part of the broken branch.

Still part of the healing branch. 

The story continues. 

“Though the fig tree may not blossom, Nor fruit be on the vines; Though the labor of the olive may fail, And the fields yield no food; Though the flock may be cut off from the fold, And there be no herd in the stalls— Yet I will rejoice in the LORD, I will joy in the God of my salvation.”

‭‭Habakkuk‬ ‭3:17-18‬ ‭NKJV‬‬

Even when the vine has no fruit... 

or so little that it is hard to see.

“Be cheerful with joyous celebration in every season of life. Let joy overflow, for you are united with the Anointed One!”

‭‭Philippians‬ ‭4:4‬ ‭TPT‬‬

There is lots of yuck in the world around us. 

Sickness. Anger. Separation. Hurt. 

Lots of yuck. 

But, there is rejoicing called for in every season. 

It is a choice. 

Find the good. 

Look farther.

There IS still a tomato on the broken branch.

There IS new growth coming from the ashes. 

There is healing happening. 

Keep looking. 

Keep rejoicing, even when the celebration worthy events are harder to see. 

You ARE blessed my friends. Choose to see it. 

The story continues!

July 31

 I have struggled, a lot, the last few months with my failing body. You would think that 30 years of  “sickness” would make you a pro, but there is always more to learn about letting God lead. About doing more than just survive. Some days you just survive, and that is enough to celebrate, but you want more. You want to be joyful and strong and an example...and some days you are not. 
 Some days you simply survive. 
 I have declared that more than once because it is a truth, and it is allowed, but don’t stop there. Don’t be content there. 

“The grass withers, the flower fades, But the word of our God stands forever.” Isaiah‬ ‭40:7-8‬ ‭NKJV‬‬

I keep coming back to the word “but” in this verse. There are so many things in life that come and go, change and fluctuate, grow and fade. However, always we can count on that last line. “But the word of our God stands forever.” Perhaps our understanding changes as we age and grow. Perhaps how it applies to our life changes-which verses stand out or call out to us. But The Word remains the same.

 Sometimes it is okay to mourn those faded flowers and that withered grass. It is okay to be confused by the waiting- or the perhaps the opposite- things moving faster than you can understand.
 Just don’t forget to stop and rejoice in that strong, powerful, forever standing Word, leading you.

 That promise leads me to this verse...

“Their proper time.” Luke 1:20
 This verse is actually the angel Gabriel speaking to Zacharias about the birth of John (the Baptist), his son. Zacharias was confused, and overwhelmed, and doubted the words. Oh, how I can relate to him!
 This watermelon seemed to fit perfectly. Last years watermelon “crop” was a total failure. Several reasons, really, but one contributing factor was failure to wait long enough.
 How do you tell when a watermelon is ripe? It is green from the beginning. Different breeds are different sizes, so there is no definitive “proper” size. Supposedly it makes a different sound when you knock on it when it is ripe...
 Basically, when you don’t know what you are doing (like me), you just guess.

 I think that sometimes, that is life. We, our human selves, don’t actually know anything. We have to just sit back and wait. If we aren’t letting someone who actually knows what they are doing lead us, we will have to simply guess.

 So, we are required to just trust.

 My next day of trust is July 31.
 It is called the Neuroblate procedure.
 Obviously, I have to trust some doctors too. And I do. But mostly I trust my Savior. His timing. His will. His plans for my future and the future of my family.

 Oh, how I would love to have your prayers. Brain surgery is never not scary. I refuse to let fear overwhelm, but I can’t make it disappear altogether. Please, lift me up to our Savior.


 Be blessed my friends as you wait, whatever it is you are waiting for. Have faith my friends that the “proper time” will come. Trust that The Word stands forever and that, that my friends, is enough.