In and out

 It's funny, really, how you think you need something so desperately and then when you finally have it right in front of you, you can't seem to remember what to do with it.

 Yet again, our internet connection was out - completely and utterly- leaving us cut off from the outside world and separated from reality. Because when the internet is out, the phone signal "booster" doesn't work either. So I can barely even surf the web on my phone.

 Yet here I am, with the internet working again, and I don't know where to start.

 To my blogger friends - between internet outages and a week of very fun but exhausting out of town company I have not visited or commented in weeks. I'll be coming by to catch up. Be forewarned!

 For now, a little piece of Missouri for you. It really is a beautiful, fascinating state.

Old Route 66 has some amazing history on it and we are enjoying every minute - even if we can't use the internet or cell phones!

Blessings, 

Laziness

 I got into bed last night, pulled the ancient and heavy, yet familiar and comfortable, Toshiba onto my lab and pressed the power button.
 I was greeted with an error message, asking me how I would like to restart the computer. Hmmm, good question, considering that last time I shut it down it hadn't seemed to have any problems. Well, let's just try regular.

 Not good.

 After about 30 seconds of "thinking" about starting Windows, it instead gave me a blue screen - the blue screen of death. Something about internal memory being wiped?
 That didn't sound good.

 So, I turned it off and tried again.

 Error message - let's try "start with last safe mode" this time.

 Again, 30 seconds of "let's give Bethany false hope", and again, the blue screen of death.

 Fiddlesticks.

 I was just bragging about how proud I was of that computer. Six years old, heavy as sin, but still going strong. I just had to spend $40 to fix the disk drive - because it wouldn't read disks anymore - but it was a perfect computer for Canaan to play games on, now that Andy is gone and took the "good" laptop. (that is a very loose definition of good - since we both hate the HP and will never buy another one. It is just smaller, and newer, so gets the label of "good").

 That Toshiba has been through a lot with us. Andy bought it right before his year long tour in Korea, and it was our main form of communication. It didn't have a built in webcam, few did at that time, but it was Skype ready and a free standing webcam was easy to find, so he got to watch Canaan, and my belly, grow on that computer screen.
 Just eight months after he got home from Korea he took it with him to Iraq, and once again, that web cam was the connection between us. He wrote dozens of E-mails, (all of which are saved to my E-mail "Andy" folder. Every single one.) He watched movies, and reorganized his music collection so that his I-pod would be easier to navigate. All on that Toshiba.
 It has played a huge part in Canaan learning his alphabet and how to use those letters to make words; how to count, then use those numbers to add, subtract and multiply. Many games have come and gone through the years. He has recently become addicted to "Age of Empires", and had claimed the Toshiba as his.

 But I kept borrowing it.

 For the first three years that I blogged, I ALWAYS sat at this desk, typing on my Mac. I have only gotten lazy in the last several months. But, oh, how I have enjoyed being lazy. It is so comfortable to sit in bed and blog, rather than sit at a desk at one in the morning! But it seems my days of comfort are over.

 Back to the workhouse, or at least the wooden chair, I go. Woe is me.

The first phone call - sort of...

At 9:23 tonight I got a text message.

 "I'm in. 

 May be a few days

 Love you." 

 Those are good words!
 "May be a few days" meant he didn't think he would be able to call me for awhile. However, only 29 minutes later he called, (don't you just love the digital age, in which I can go back to my phone and check EXACTLY when he called?) just for a few seconds, to give me details of the day and pass along his mailing address. He sounded exhausted, and stressed about what comes next, but at the same time - relieved. One step down. He is officially in the class.

 Now he just has to finish it!

 As always, one thing at a time.                         Blessings,

Small town life

I got my latest cell phone bill and..... I did not go over my minutes this month!!! It is a miracle! I just had to share my excitement. I know that no one else cares, but it is nearly midnight, and Andy is asleep, so I had to tell someone!

I still love my tiny little town. I have walked to the park twice this week, shopped at my little organic market, met the people who live on the road behind me (while we were at the park), saw a snake in the grass, then found out it was dead (but not before scaring my friend Amy half to death, so that she jumped, pulled her baby stroller away with one arm, and managed to totally injure her rotator cuff and now may need surgery!) and I got sunburned. While walking. From the park.

As I said previously, it is nearly midnight. I should got to bed. I think I quit making sense about 20 minutes ago. Sorry!

Normal

This morning around 8:15 one of my best friends called me and said, "I just want to have a normal day." She has had a lot of drama in her life recently, and when it was finally starting to slow down, her baby woke up with a fever of 105 degrees this morning, and she was rushing to the doctor. I totally understood what she meant... normal sounds nice. But, I really don't think it exists. Normal for her is not the same as normal for me, and probably not like normal for you either. It just got me thinking again about that word. NORMAL. Seriously, how can anyone define that? We had a lot of discussions about normal when I was growing up, since we were homeschooled, preacher's kids, who moved almost every year, and lived in a foreign country for awhile. We never even attempted to think that we were normal. But, we had our own normal. Our normal could be thrown off balance, just like anyone else's normal. Maybe what I am trying to get to is this question: "How do I want my children to define normal?" I don't want them to think that it is normal to use dirty, nasty, useless and pointless words. I don't want them to think it is normal to shout and scream at each other every time you have a disagreement. I don't want them to think it is normal to threaten violence to solve problems.

I DO want them to think it is normal to approach the throne of God with absolutely every issue in their life. I do want them to think it is normal to show affection openly to each other. I do want them to think it is normal to enjoy a good book, watch a good movie, spend time together as a family, help those less fortunate, and share love with everyone without exception.

There are so many things that can define normal. What is normal for you? Do you have a plan? You have to decide what your normal is, or you will end up following someone else's normal, which will be wrong for you.

On a lighter note... a piece of advice. If you remember really liking a movie as a child, yet haven't watched it since you were a child, don't watch it again. It totally ruins a movie to watch it again, after decades of memories! Canaan checked out the Ewok movie today at the library. The acting is absolutely horrid!!! I remember liking that movie. I think I just liked the Ewoks. Canaan thinks they are great. I guess I will let him love it, then make sure that he never sees it again, so he can hold onto the positive memory of it! It was scarier then I remembered too. Canaan is almost never scared, so I am not worried about him, but I am surprised that I was not scared by it as a child. We checked out both of the Ewok movies, so maybe the other one will be as good as I remember. Don't worry, I won't count on it! I have already planned to be disappointed.

Speaking of movies though, did anyone watch the PBS showing of Sense and Sensibility? It was so good. I liked it better then the one with Kate what's her name? Winslett? Titanic girl. Anyway, it was much better. S and S has always been my favorite, although Emma is a close second. I have always related to Elinor, so I was thrilled when that little survey matched me with her. The PBS version of the movie was very well done, and if anyone who reads this is someone who buys me presents (MOM, are you reading this?) I would love to have it on DVD so I can watch it again. If all else fails, Emilee will probably buy it for herself, and then I can borrow it!

Today was library day again. We were planning to ride our bikes, since my neighbor has a bike trailer for her daughter and Zion to ride in. When we were getting ready to leave it looked like rain, and my bike tire was flat, so we ended up driving. Story hour was great, and we stayed extra long, and when we were leaving the weather was absolutely gorgeous. Made me wish I had ridden my bike!! Next week I am going to plan ahead better, and have my tires ready to go!

Just FYI

The average (30 day) month has 43,200 minutes in it. That is a lot of minutes. Last month I spent 1890 of them on the phone. Unbelievable!!!!! I really don't understand how that is possible, because I really don't feel like I talk on the phone all that much. I probably spent about 600 minutes in God's word. About 150 minutes brushing my teeth. About 1200 minutes a month reading to my kids. I guess when you put it in that perspective, it doesn't seem THAT bad. It just shocked me a little when I saw the total. I did mange to NOT go over on my anytime minutes this month. I had 3 left over. I am very proud of that fact!!! The only reason I can do that is because a large portion of the people I talk to are AT&T also, so they are free! Thank you Corey for getting Carrie a new phone!!
Since I am supposed to be making my words more meaningful, I will close now. I don't think this is especially meaningful, but it sure was funny to think about!!

Music

In case you haven't noticed, I have added music to my blog. Picking out the songs has been quite a journey of discovery. I like a lot of different styles, from quite a few different years. I also am absolutely terrible with names. So, in the process of making this list, I kept turning to Andy and saying, "Honey, what was the name of that band I used to listen to, when I lived on Third Street. You know, the one with the guy... " Somehow, with about that much detail, he would come up with the name of who I wanted, every time. He knows me entirely too well. At first I didn't think I would come up with 100 songs. I can only think of about 5 on the top of my head at any given moment. But somehow one song led to another, and Andy would remind me of someone else, and here I am with 100 songs. I got really sappy somewhere in the middle and picked out a lot of songs from when Andy and I were dating or first married. I think that was during the time he was helping me, and I was just so in love, and remembering all the easy fun times. So naturally, the memory music made it on there. However there was a sadly lacking amount of Waterdeep available on the site I was using, so "our song" didn't make the list.
When I first posted the player I had less songs, but Carrie has already commented on the amount of Country music. I have added more since then. It never ceases to amaze me that I actually like country music, but I definitely do. My Mom may disown me, and my highschool friends can't believe it, but I am truly addicted. It all started when my husband joined the Air Force and we moved all the way across the country, away from everything familiar. Country music brought the South to me, even way out in CA, and it has just stuck ever since. Now, I love it just because I do.
I would also like to point out that although I have a wide variety, with many different genre's and years represented, there are no Beatle's songs on my list. I had it nearly finished and realized that I was leaving off a major American influence, and I considered adding them, just for the sake of adding them. But truly and honestly, I don't really like the Beatles. That may be grounds for death in some areas, but there it is. I have said it, and am willing to pay the consequences. I don't really DISLIKE them, I just don't LIKE them. If it helps, I also left off Elvis. Nothing against him, just don't really feel the need. I was raised solely on Keith Green, Maranatha Praise music, and Psalty the singing songbook, with a later addition of Amy Grant and Twila Paris. I missed out on two whole decades of music during my growing up years. I can't help but be behind.
Anyway.... I just wanted to say that I enjoyed this journey. I loved being reminded of the music I love, searching for the memories that get lost in the every day, and worshiping the God who gave me music and memories.
Please enjoy the selection, and comment on your favorites, and what I have left off.

An update and a prayer request

I was re-reading my last post before I started this one and it made me laugh. On the way down to help me move into my new house my Mom spilled her coke in her lap, all over her cell phone. Needless to say, it no longer worked. So, she stopped at a rest area to use a pay phone. It told her to insert $3.25. Three Twenty Five, for one phone call. She thought that was ridiculous, so instead she looked around the parking lot, picked a likely looking traveler and asked to borrow their cell phone. She then realized that she did not have my phone number memorized. She just always pushes "Bethany" on her cell phone memory, and had no idea what my actual number was. So, she had to call Dad and ask him to find my number, then, while still using the poor stranger's cell phone, she had to call me and get the rest of the directions to my house. The plan had been that she would call when she got to the exit and I would tell her the rest then. So, here she was, about 40 miles away, and no idea how to actually get to my house, and no phone. It just seems so ironic to me that just a few days after I had written about our dependence on cell phones, my Mom got stuck without one, and truly needed it.
By the way, diet coke does completely fry a cell phone. Hers is still broken....
We are moved in, settling nicely. Mom took Zion back home with her, so I have gotten a lot done. Tomorrow we are headed back to N. GA to get him. It has been so nice, and I have gotten so much done with out him here, but I am missing him like crazy. It has felt so strange to only have one kid. Canaan is so self sufficient too. He entertains himself for hours on end without any input from me. Zion still needs constant attention. I can't imagine how strange life would be without my Zion.

I have a prayer request to post here. I talked to one of my best friends today and found out that her baby died this week. She was 25 weeks pregnant, and this happened with no warning, and at this point and time they still don't know why. She was a huge help to me when I was mourning Anastasia, because she had lost a baby before too, last time at 32 weeks. I know how much it hurt at six weeks, because we had already planned, and gotten excited, and dreamed. I know that at 25 weeks you have had a lot more time to bond, and dream and plan, and it has to be a thousand times harder. Please pray for Naomi and her family. She will still have to labor to deliver the body, and that just stinks. They are planning to induce her on Friday, so please keep her in your prayers. The baby's name is Ruth, and she has five big brothers who are taking it really hard.
I hurt for her. It is so hard not to ask "why", even though I know it is a stupid question. I want to fix it, make it all go away, and I can't. She is so strong, and her faith is holding her up exactly as it should, but I know she is struggling with the why. So please, pray for my friend Naomi.

Moving

I am about to drive up to the cable office and turn in my cable box and internet modem, so I will be unavailable for several days. This shows how addicted to the intenet I am though - I already have an appointment scheduled for the cable man to come out on Sat and turn it on. Today is Tuesday and I am turning it off. I will have it back up and running at my new house in Hahira by Saturday. For some reason I find that highly amusing. I am so spoiled.
Yesterday when we were driving back to NC (after finally getting an all clear on Zion's breathing, and taking him over to GA on Sunday afternoon) I saw a man using a payphone. I don't think I have ever used a payphone. Pretty much my entire adult life I have had a cell phone. In fact, I don't currently have a home phone. Every since January we have been a cell phone only family. It is just such a foreign concept to me to imagine needing to use a pay phone. I am so spoiled!!! I remember when I was a kid my Aunt and Uncle had "car phones", which were the bulky predecessors of cell phones. Those seemed so fancy, out of our reach, and unnecessary. Now I cannot imagine not having a phone with me at all times. In a couple of days we will be moving, and I will follow behind the moving truck. Andy and I will probably talk frequently, deciding where to get off to eat, get gas, etc. I remember when I was a kid we would follow the moving truck (quite often actually, with my parent's moving record) and have to honk, or flash our lights, or try to pass to get Dad's attention. One time we got seperated in Memphis, moving to Colorado and we just had to stop and pray, because we had no idea how to find Dad again. Back then my parents didn't have credit cards either, so Mom was stuck with four kids, no idea where Dad was, and very little money. I am just so glad that I will never have to experience that again. I love my cell phone!!!
Andy is ready to go, so I better scram. I'll be back in touch again after we get to our new house!