Still beautiful

 This post is originally from April of 2020 and I called it “beautiful scars”. 

 Covid was in it’s beginning. I was waiting for my first Litt brain surgery, but already waiting for my hair to grow back from being shaved off during testing. Andy hadn’t retired from the army yet, both my children still lived at home, which was in a different state then now, and the questions of life then were different than the questions of now. 

 Yet now, even with so many things different, I don’t think I would change a thing it says. 

 Beautiful scars are still beautiful, if we choose, and remember, to see them that way. 

 Those wounds that need binding come in so many different shapes and from so many different sources. Some are deep and need stitches to stop the bleeding. Some are more shallow, but so very wide that they seem to stretch out forever. Others will scab over, then get opened again and again and again. I have seen emotional and spiritual wounds that require “surgery”, the complete removal of a limb, for healing to happen. 

 But healing is always happening, if we allow it. 

 The thing is, there are often scars left behind. Healing stops the bleeding. Healing closes the wound.

 But the scars are still there. 

 What do you see when you look at a scar? Do you see something ugly or the mark of a battle won? Are you inspired with pride because you survived?  

 I think they are beautiful. 

 As time passes the scars smooth out. They show how we have grown and changed and matured- but they remain, as gentle and beautiful reminders of the battles we have won and the wounds that our Savior has already healed. 

 There will be new battles and new wounds. We will need new healing, over and over, and there will be new scars along the way. 

 And they will be beautiful too. 

“He heals the wounds of every shattered heart.”

‭‭Psalms‬ ‭147:3‬ ‭TPT‬‬

Choose what you see

 You can’t always get what you want… but as The Rolling Stones say, you get what you need. 

 I have to be reminded of that sometimes. That line, sung by a drug addled group of hippies who I disagree with on most points of life, called out to me today. My amazing Savior used their words to speak His truth. Isn’t it beautiful how He does that? 

 Here is the simple truth- what I “want” isn’t happening a lot recently. 

 I am caught in a complicated question- when is “fighting for what you want” no longer good? How long are you suppose to push for what seems right before you simply say “I must be wrong”? 

 But as God, and The Rolling Stones, reminded me today, I have what I need. 

 There are multiple unanswered questions in the lives of Bethany and Andy right now, but we have a roof over our head, delicious food in the pantry, and each other. 

 We are amazingly blessed to have Zion right here with us and Canaan able to call multiple times a week. Both of our moms are near by and many priceless family and friends are within reach. 

 I can’t always get what I want. 

 I don’t even know for sure which things I am suppose to fight for and which things I am suppose to let go. 

But….

 I am Oh So Amazingly Blessed!!

 Remember to count your blessings too my friends.

 Find the good. 

See the beautiful. 

 Make that choice. 

 I am asking for your prayers my friends. There are unanswered questions and decisions for the Freeman crew. Always… but it seems heavy right now. 

In the meantime…

“Again I say, rejoice!”

 Be blessed my friends! Make the choice to see the good, every step of the way!  

In ALL things-

 Most of us who know Jesus know this verse I think. We claim this verse. We hold on to this verse with both hands. We might simplify it a little too much sometimes….

 But it is beautiful, and I love it. That promise is breathtaking. 

 So, when you get to see absolute beautiful good come directly from ugly bad, you have to take a moment and rejoice in it. 

This is mom’s hand, just a few weeks ago. She fell, and in a beautiful gift from God didn’t break anything on the front of her face, which is the direction that she fell. So, that is the first thing that we celebrate. 

 However, there was a nasty break in her middle finger. Not a nice simple crack, but a spiral all the way down one of the bones. Requiring multiple pins to fix. 

That required her to be unconscious, putting those pins in. And that is where this story gets beautiful, in my opinion. 

 You see, she needed an anesthesiologist for that, being unconscious.  

And that anesthesiologist needed her. 

 I don’t suppose he needed Nina specifically. Anyone willing to be the hands and voice of Jesus could have filled that roll. But my mom was there, and willing, and able to hear him saying that he was hurt. She knew to let God lead her and to let God do the speaking when it was time. She knew to admit imperfections and stand for strengths and allow both love and discouragement to be allowed. 

 That young doctor knew Jesus, but he had been hurt by humans, and disappointed by the ones suppose to be strong and he needed someone to say that they understood. Mom understood, and was willing to remind him that humans fail, but Jesus doesn’t. 

 That young doctor let her pour the love of Jesus on him.

 I just watched, and nearly cried. 

  Then he took fabulous care of her. 

 When we came home that evening she said that giving him the love and joy he needed at that moment was enough of a reason to break her finger. 

 I love my mom!

 Please, join me in praying this verse over her. 

Her literal feet may not be as strong as they use to be but those “high places of challenge and responsibility” are still there, as is her calling for HIS purpose. 

 Pray that reminder over her then, please my friends, grab ahold of it for yourself. 

 God places us in strange, hard, heavy places sometimes. I know that. I understand. I promise. 

 Please, take a moment to read these pretty picture verses again. “In All things”. “You alone Lord”. “planned in advance.” “Walk on my high places.”

 Remember that He is there, walking with you. In ALL things. 

 Be blessed my friends. 

Whatever state I am in…

 I have been missing for a while on here. It is not because I had nothing to say. It was just that the words of my mouth and the meditations of my heart need to be acceptable in HIS sight before they come here, and sometimes that is struggling. (Psalm 19:14)

 Not that they were filled with evil :) 

 Just sometimes they are lacking in hope or joy, and at moments filled with pride. None of those attitudes are what I want to share. 

Romans 12:16 was pointed out to me by a devotional I was reading this morning as I contemplated writing again. 

 So, I am slightly afraid to write again, still. However, these verses came too. 

He isn’t done working on me. My body is less than perfect, obviously, and perhaps that has to just be accepted. 

But He is working on me in other ways too and I will do my best to listen and learn. 

Because…

All things my friends. 

Read it one more time. 

ALL THINGS work together for good. 

Sometimes we don’t get to understand, but we trust and believe. 

All things work together for good, in His timing, for His plan. 

So…

Because this last verse is the final goal. 

The overall goal. 

The one I keep hoping to learn, and I hope you will join me in seeking. 

Choose to be content. 

Choose to see the good. 

Choose to see the hand of our Father in every single moment. 

I hope I am back to writing, but I can’t promise. 

I do promise that many of you have been on my heart and have been lifted up to our Savior. 

(And some of you don’t even want me to do that for you, I know!)

People I have never even met in “real life” but only online, or met once while waiting in line and friended on FB years ago. People I share blood with, or college with, or the career of my hubby with. 

You are loved. 

So, grab ahold of hope my friends, then turn around and share it with those around you!

Be blessed!

Stop and enjoy it

 That old saying, “time flies when you are having fun”… well it seems that it is true about life in general. 

 Even the moments when you aren’t exactly having fun…

 Time still flies. 

 My firstborn rode away this week, off to start Army basic training. 

My “baby” is more than 8in taller than me. 

(This is not a good picture, but in the last minutes before Canaan left I had a meltdown and needed a “family picture”. This is what I got.)

 My husband, that boy I met in college, has completed almost 20 years in the military now. 

 We might be getting “old”, but don’t tell him that!

 

 Time flies. 

 Stop and enjoy it my friends. 

 Take a deep breath in the middle of the rain and listen for a moment to the music the drops make on the rooftop. 

 Be still as the sun sets and notice the crazy colors expanding across the sky, then applaud as they disappear, just because you enjoyed the show. 

 Lay quietly next to the person you love and enjoy their heartbeat and slow breaths, and maybe even some snoring, as sleep comes after a long crazy day. 

 Stop and enjoy it my friends. 

 Time flies. 

 Remember to SEE that you are blessed every single moment. 

 We would very much appreciate prayers for Canaan in basic training!

A mist

 I think some see this as a depressing verse, but it is also very inspiring. We don’t know what will happen tomorrow BUT... we have this very minute. 

 Use this minute for all that it is worth.

Choose the words and actions and even facial expressions of this very minute to be full of what Jesus is asking of you. 

 It has been a very full and intense few weeks here, since I last wrote a blog. 

 My firstborn son graduated from highschool and turned 18, officially becoming an adult. 

 The house sold and the packing has been full power since we are moving most things out a full week before we close.... and that moving date is barely a week away now. 

 My mother’s health has been atrocious, so we ran “home” to spend some time with her AND to celebrate another homeschool graduation. A choice for JOY in the middle of crazy. 

 My health hasn’t hit the atrocious level, but neither diabetes or epilepsy are being nice to me right now, which keeps me on my toes. I had some testing done yesterday, for my birthday, which will help determine what I even qualify for as a “next step” for epilepsy. But that is a story for another day. 

 As I said, very full several weeks. 

 But, as James says, “What is your life....(but) a mist.”

 When I read that verse this evening, with a blood sugar of 315 and on the grumpy level of attitude I was made aware, once again, that it is my choice how I react. It is my choice how I live. It is my choice whether my “mist” is a spring filled loveliness or a dark evening gloom. 

 We are all a mist. What kind shall I be? 

 As James sums up, just a few verse later... “So whoever knows the right thing to do and fails to do it, for him it is sin.” James‬ ‭4:17‬ ‭ESV‬‬

Choose to be a mist that not only does what is right, but shares it with others. Choose what brings Joy, shares love, reminds of hope, shines Jesus, plain and simple.

 Yes, we are just a mist. But the mist, although temporary, can be both beautiful and useful. 

 Make that choice. 

 Be blessed my friends, choosing to see the beauty in as many steps of the journey as you can. 

Produce Perseverance

While “cleaning” today I found this following message, a response to a text message or perhaps an email, that I had copied and saved in the “notes” on my phone. I don’t remember who it was originally written to, or if I even sent it, but I have people in my life that it fits. Finding it now, more than a year after it was originally written, I want to make these words available. I want to point out this truth, again. 

 “No argument from me that some things are just bad. And many of them we never get to see any good come from. Perhaps no good does ever come from them, if no one is asking God for it? Rom 8:28 adds at the end “for those who love Him and are called according to His purposes”. If no one is seeking the good, perhaps it is just completely bad? I don’t pretend to know the answer to that. You have seen a lot more bad than I have my friend. And very different bad.

 I do think though that joy is a choice. And it is nothing like happiness. No, a tree cannot choose it’s fruit, but the amount of sun it soaks up, reaching out its branches with hope, and the amount of rain it reaches out for, digging those roots deeper into the unforgiving soil around it... those things make the fruit stronger, and bigger, and sweeter. The tree is planted, and it is what it is... but it gets to choose whether it shrivels up or reaches out. 

 And just because it chooses one thing one day, doesn’t mean it doesn’t get to/have to choose again, the next day, and the next, over and over, choosing. 

 Some days I don’t choose to look for the good. Some days, in all honesty, I curl up and ask God to please let me die. When I have had blood sugar readings of 400 and 45 in the same day. When I have had 4 seizures in 12 hours time. When I have thrown up, for no diagnosable reason, over and over- sometimes I forget to look for the good. I forget to seek joy, when happiness seems so far away. I am just tired. 

 But Joy, not happiness, is always there. Always.”

JOY is strong here today. 

 There is nothing new on me, medically. 

 There is nothing new on selling the house, Andy getting a new job, or moving closer to our parents.

 There is nothing new on my mom’s broken body, the lack of medical equipment at the hospital in Kenya my BIL works at, (please go read that one) or the angst people carry about the world in general. 

 Yet, JOY is a choice and I am choosing it. 

 Please, join me in choosing it. 

 I am so glad to have found that old message, written in a time of pain, reminding me that those very trials faced have already produced perseverance. 

Grow my friends. Grow those roots down deep. Soak up the rainwater, even when they sometimes seem to be bigger rain drops than you think you can handle. Grow those branches strong, able to handle the wind. Grow those leaves full and thick, able to offer shade to those around you who are having a hard day. 

 Be blessed as you grow my friends!

Ruth and Mara and Naomi, all three

 On Sunday there was a baby dedication at church. The branch of the church that we worship with has the parents come to the front and, in the simplest way of describing it, ask for help in raising a child of God. We, as the body of Christ, commit to stand with them and support them as they strive to do that. It is simply a reminder that we are a team. 

  This baby stood out to me more than usual because her name is Ruth, which is my middle name. Her precious baby self called to me to remember the story of my name. 

 The story of Ruth is one of my favorite in the Old Testament. She is a foreigner, not a Hebrew, yet she ends up in the family line of King David. She experiences pain and loss, yet she holds onto hope. She doesn’t know all of the answers, so she trusts people she loves to lead her in truth. She works hard. She loves enthusiastically. She doesn’t give up. 

 Sometimes I think that those of us who study the Bible want to focus on Ruth too much and leave out Naomi. 

 Naomi had to have her time as Mara, her time in mourning, so that Ruth would come to the promised land, marry into what would become the royal line and eventually the birth line of Jesus. The bad was horrible. But it had to happen. It had to lead to the good later. 

 What God keeps pointing out to me, over and over, is that we have to have faith that our bad has a purpose too. Naomi didn’t get to meet King David, but she helped create his family line. We HAVE TO believe that our suffering leads to something good even if, sometimes, it is too far away for us to see.

 My grandma, who was literally and figuratively a Ruth in every way, was such a fabulous example of this to me. She loved others without condition. She gave and gave and gave. When she hurt, with my pastor grandfather in a coma for two years, slowly wasting away, I am sure she had moments when the Joy was hard to find and the Hope seemed out of reach, but she never quit loving others in the meantime. She never stopped. Then, after he died she still simply poured out love and trusted that her Savior would take care of her. 

 So, my goal is to be a Ruth in every way. I have had my Mara moments. They have to happen. Some amazing Ruth’s have helped me along the way, so I pray that they were strengthened in their ability to encourage in my moments of mourning. 

 I trust that my Savior used even my weak moments for good. 

 But now, I want to be a Ruth. I want to make that choice. I am praying that same strength over this new little baby Ruth in our church. The strength to share Hope even when it seems too far away. The ability to let Joy overflow onto others so passionately that they can’t help but absorb it. The Trust to grab ahold of Jesus’s hand and let Him lead even when the path is hard to see. 

 Be a Ruth my friends. Share your Mara past with others and help them overcome, but choose to be a Ruth. 

 Be blessed my friends, in both the rain and the sunshine, with the reminder of the promise that He is with you just like He was with Ruth and Naomi. (And Mara too)

Made perfect in weakness

 When I was a young girl there was a song sung by Twila Paris that, especially after I was diagnosed with diabetes, summed up my desire, my goal, for everything I wanted to be. Everything I hoped for my future was based around the ability to sing that song and mean it. 

I have pasted a link to YouTube and encourage you to listen to it. It is called The Thorn and is based around 2 Corinthians 12:7. 

“So to keep me from becoming conceited because of the surpassing greatness of the revelations, a thorn was given me in the flesh, a messenger of Satan to harass me, to keep me from becoming conceited.” 2 Corinthians‬ ‭12:7‬ ‭ESV‬‬

 The ESV fits the song, calling it a thorn, but the MSG simplifies the meaning so nicely. 

 “I was given the gift of a handicap to keep me in constant touch with my limitations. Satan’s angel did his best to get me down; what he in fact did was push me to my knees. No danger then of walking around high and mighty! At first I didn’t think of it as a gift, and begged God to remove it. Three times I did that, and then he told me, My grace is enough; it’s all you need. My strength comes into its own in your weakness. Once I heard that, I was glad to let it happen. I quit focusing on the handicap and began appreciating the gift. It was a case of Christ’s strength moving in on my weakness. Now I take limitations in stride, and with good cheer, these limitations that cut me down to size—abuse, accidents, opposition, bad breaks. I just let Christ take over! And so the weaker I get, the stronger I become.”

‭‭2 Corinthians‬ ‭12:7-10‬ ‭MSG‬‬

 That scripture passage has meant a lot to me, always. But for some reason just a few nights ago it was brought to the forefront, heavily, again. 

 I am part of a Wednesday night ladies Bible study group. We are reading a book together, discussing what God is teaching us and sharing our burdens. All different ages, stages of life, backgrounds and I suppose different futures as well. Simply women. In the opening prayer, as a wonderful woman of God was lifting requests and giving thanks, I had impressed upon me SO STRONGLY the need to “thank Him for the thorn” of Covid. 

 Thank Him for Covid. 

 I wrote that, immediately, on a piece of paper in my devotional. 

 

“Thank you for Covid!? It made us be still and quiet for just a moment. Remind us of that.”

 Notice, I had to add a “?” at the end of the first statement. As I wrote that first line I wasn’t sure that I could mean it. However, God never stops with just the first line if we are listening. 

 I have mulled the whole thing over for a few days, and have been pulled back to the verses in 2 Corinthians over and over. That thorn, that handicap, was given for a reason. His strength is made perfect in my weakness. If I think I am strong, if I think I can do it on my own, then I am not letting Him be the strength. 

 Remember that, please, when you have a thorn poking at your side. Remember also thorns come in many different packages. 

 That last line that I wrote, “remind us of that”... I want to mean it. 

I don’t know, not really, if I meant “remind us to be still and quiet” or “remind us to be thankful”, but I want to mean both. 

 I am choosing to mean both. 

 Beautifully, this verse from Psalm 46:10 was placed directly in front of me as a confirmation of both. 

Be still. 

Know, and trust, that He is God and we can be THANKFUL for even more than we want to recognize. 

As Twila Paris sings, 

Thank you for this thorn   fellowship of pain
Teaching me to know you more   never to complain
Thank You for this love   planted in my side
Faithful patient miracle   opening my eyes.

 Remember to be still and quiet, for just a moment, and then to be thankful for that moment even if it was painful. 

 Be blessed my friends as you choose to trust Him today. Know that you are loved, always. 

A simple reminder

 

Dear restless heart, be still; don’t fret and worry so;

God has a thousand ways His love and help to show;

Just trust, and trust, and trust, until His will you know. 

Dear restless heart, be still, for peace is God’s own smile,

His love can every wrong and sorrow reconcile;

Just love, and love, and love, and calmly wait awhile. 

Dear restless heart, be brave; don’t moan and sorrow so, 

He has a meaning kind in chilly winds that blow;

Just hope, and hope, and hope, until you braver grow. 

Dear restless heart, repose upon His breast this hour,

His grace is strength and life; His love is bloom and flower;

Just rest, and rest, and rest, within His tender power. 

Dear restless heart, be still! Don’t struggle to be free;

God’s life is in your life, from Him you may not flee;

Just pray, and pray, and pray, til you have faith to see. 

                                                               Edith Willis Linn

That picture has been my Facebook photo for several years now. It, quite simply, is my goal. I don’t succeed, but the goal is renewed every morning with the fresh new day. This poem struck me as a beautiful summary. 

 My restless heart forgets the goal, over and over, but we are reminded to trust and love and hope and rest and, most importantly, pray. 

 So, that is my reminder to you. Stop for a moment and let all of those goals be remembered. 

 Trust.

 Love. 

 Hope. 

 Rest. 

 Pray. 

 As always, I will add the reminder of my favorite- seek Joy my friends. One breath at a time! 

My body is the temple of the Holy Spirit

 It has been over a month since I posted and it is completely my own fault. 

 The internet has worked. 

 My time has been free enough to write. 

 God has even given me words, several times.

 Most of those words are simply gone. Some of them are saved in the notes section of my phone.... but most of them are just gone. 

Why? 

Hmmm....Good question.

I think the simplest answer is that I wanted to be the happy person. I wanted to only share good news and unfortunately good news hasn’t been as strong as I had hoped. 

 Sometimes in the middle of “not good news” the actual, true, undeniable good news gets harder to see. We have all been there and experienced that. JOY gets hidden under sadness and discouragement. Hope is buried under fear. 

 Which leads me to this word of truth...

Who do I think I am to plan my course? Truly. I write this blog about trusting my Savior so I think I better follow through on meaning it. 

 So here I am, five months out from surgery, fairly confident that it didn’t work. September and October were beautiful and full of hope. Then I had 3 seizures in November. Definite, old style seizures. Slightly different, but old style. There were at least 5 in December, and then 5 in January as well, and already 2 so far this month. 

 Which leaves me, as I said, fairly confident that surgery didn’t work. 

 The whole reason I started writing (again) was to talk about this journey, brain surgery. If I only write about what I want to happen then it isn’t really writing about the journey, only the scenic stops along the way. I can’t only write about the scenic stops. That is a cheesy novel, not a story of growth. I have to write about the parts of the journey that aren’t beautiful and aren’t turning out the way I wanted them to. So, I am trying today to write the less than beautiful parts. 

 Fear and trembling will win if we let them. 

 I suppose the simple truth is, we don’t beat them. 

 It is not us who win the battle. We, those of us who are holding to the promise of our Jehovah, do not fight the battle on our own. That means we don’t have to win the battle. Our Savor already has. 

 So, fear and trembling are conquered for us in the end. Pain and sadness are still here, now. Human bodies are broken and human souls make wrong choices. But we do not fight alone and that is enough. 

 That means I have hope my friends.

 I have hope that I, Bethany Ruth, can shine Joy with a broken body. 

 I have hope that I can give love even when it isn’t asked for or returned by the world around me. 

 I have hope that every single morning, no matter what epilepsy, graves’s disease or diabetes has done the night before I can wake up with the ability to share Jesus in a the simplest and purest ways.

 The fruit of the Spirit is truly the simplest goal, but oh so very much the goal. 

Last reminder....

 My friends, don’t forget that important last reminder. 

 Your body IS the temple of the Holy Spirit. 

 Healthy body or broken. Joyful body or mourning. Focused and on track or scattered and blown with the wind. 

 Your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit. 

 Be blessed my friends, then turn around and return those blessings to others. 

Home?

 I sent out a text to a group of local friends today asking for boxes and bubble wrap. It is time for the packing to begin. Just the “pre” stuff. I have to put away most of my decor and make the house less personal (translated= “boring”) and thus easier to sell. 

 Sending that text made me look at the actual date though, then do some counting. I am pretty sure we have broken my record. I have been here longer than anywhere else, ever, in my life. 

 That is always striking, breaking that record. Amusing, really, considering that the record so far stays at just over three years. But we have been here 3 years and 3 months now, and I think it was only 3 years and  2 months at Fort Bragg, the second time. 

 I could start adding times together? We were at Bragg twice, so I think we got almost 5 full years there, added together. I was in Rome, GA for 3 years of college and two years of working afterwards... but a different dorm room each year and three different apartments after graduation. 

 We were at Fort Leonard Wood twice, but even added together that doesn’t equal an entire year, lol. I wrote a similar blog the first time we were there. 

 

  The point is that places come and go. 

  My thoughts on the matter are summed up beautifully in Hebrews.

 We so often spend too much time focused on this current home. Don’t misunderstand me- I am not saying that caring for your home and children is bad or wrong. I am only pointing out that this is not the final home. This house, big or small, new or old, decorated in just the way you like or barely holding together, this house is not the end of the story. 

 Make it a joyful home. Make it a love filled home. But remember this beautiful Proverb, please. 

Wisdom and understanding far outrank fancy decor and expensive furniture. They outrank the latest healthy food and cleaning fad. They even outrank organization and schedule, because those aren’t the same as wisdom and understanding. I am a huge fan of organization and schedule, don’t get me wrong, but they aren’t the same as wisdom and understanding. Build your house on the wisdom of the Word and striving to understand it, and then trying to understand with the greatest love you can the people who are put into your life. 

 Please my friends, don’t forget where that foundation is!

 Before you know it the children are driving off to college. Or as my mom pointed out, before you know it the grandchildren are driving off to college! And since I have a grandmother going strong in her 90’s, I will add for her “before you know it the great grandchildren are driving off to college.” 

 

 From someone who has never had a physical home for long, focus instead on the people within and the neighbors nearby. The humans have so much more potential to last for the long run! 

 To those of you who have kept up with me through multiple moves, over multiple years: thank you! You have been the hands and feet and voice of Jesus to me, over and over! 

 To those of you who have befriended me each step along the journey: thank you! You also have been the hands and feet and voice of Jesus to me, over and over! 

 So, my friends, live fully. Love your neighbor, whether you have known them for two weeks or 20 years. Be the hands and feet and voice of Jesus, as so many neighbors have been to me over the years. 

 

 Be blessed my friends, with the gentle reminder added: SEE the blessings. 

A gentle reminder

 My dear friends, I have a simple reminder: 

 I will be that kind word. I make that choice. There will always be disagreement and unkindness but you and I make our own choice every single minute. So, be still for a moment and consider what it is you want to be. Who it is you want to be. 

“Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice. Let your reasonableness be known to everyone. The Lord is at hand; do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.”

‭‭Philippians‬ ‭4:4-8‬ ‭ESV‬‬. https://www.bible.com/59/php.4.4-8.esv

 Those verses are quoted often, highlighted often, but in smaller portions, one at a time, broken up into bite size pieces. Look at that whole paragraph of truth, please. Then, grab ahold of it, claim the truth of it, choose to live it out loud where others can see it. 

Please my friends, no matter what label you have claimed here in the world, remember the more important ones that you have. Child of God. Follower of The King. Brother and Sister to every single human, created in His image. And perhaps that verse 5, which so often gets skipped, can stand out. “Let your reasonableness be known to everyone.” 

 Be blessed my friends, with Joy and Peace that cannot be explained in this time of questions and fear and upheaval. Choose to see the Joy and Peace, and lead others to them along the way!

Keep running...

 “Keep on keeping on,” as the old saying goes.

 Or, as The Word says, “run with endurance.”

 I planned for my “next post” to be about my sister Kelsey and her family as they move to Kenya. It was suppose to be written days ago and shared in their time of travel. 

 I failed. Instead I had two seizures and was tired and discouraged, and for a few days focused only on myself and my failing body. 

 I think that perhaps that is the point of this blog though. A reminder that, unlike the falsehoods of Facebook and Instagram and all the other quick posts of success we share online, we are all imperfect. 

 Did you hear that my friends? We are all imperfect. Every single one of us. 

 We are called to “run with endurance” but that doesn’t mean we won’t be covered in ugly sweat, or twist our ankle and limp for a while, or fall and skin our knees along the way. Run with endurance doesn’t mean run with perfection. It just means keep getting up and trying again. 

 I saw this George Matheson quote this morning. 

https://quotefancy.com/george-matheson-quotes

 His story is worth reading, even if you only skim the Wikipedia short story. He became blind in his 20’s, at a time in history when blindness kept you from accomplishing anything. Yet, he didn’t let that stop him from sharing love and shining Joy. He wrote books and songs. He was a full time pastor. He held on to passion for Jesus and fullness of life. 

 He held on. 

 That quote calls out to me. I want to, like him, be a rainbow in my cloud. I don’t want to simply have hope for the rainbow, which in itself is beautiful. I want to BE the rainbow for others as they wait. 

 So that is my challenge to you. As you run with endurance, sometimes covered in sweat and limping, remember that you can still be the rainbow for someone else. 

 Be the rainbow, the light and the beauty in the cloud filled rainstorm. 

 I still write this to ask that you pray for my sister and her family. You can read more of their story here. 

 Even more though, I write to encourage you to keep running with endurance. Don’t give up. Sometimes we will limp. Sometimes we will fall. Sometimes we will, perhaps, take the wrong path and have to go back and start afresh. But don’t stop trying to hear our Jesus and go where HE leads you. 

 Be blessed my friends, one small step at a time. Please, take a deep breath, brush yourself off and BE the rainbow shining through the rain.

What do you see?

 I have been quiet again. God asked me to trust Him and sometimes that happens best when I am just quiet. But to give an example of how I have been feeling... I literally cried on my physical therapist last week, about things having nothing to do with physical therapy. 

 As always, my Savior sent me back to The Word and reminded me that HE has filled it with everything I need. 

 Oh, that simple truth. Trust. The next part of that scripture in the NKJV, how I learned it as a child, says “and lean not on your own understanding.” 

 What is my understanding? What do I truly know? When I take a moment to be still and consider that question I am reminded of truth. My understanding belongs only to me. It isn’t the same as Andy’s or Canaan’s or Zion’s. It doesn’t match that of my mother or my sisters or my best friends. The people that I love the most and that I trust to love me still don’t have the same “understanding” as I do. They don’t see from the same angle and don’t have the same set of memories to match it all to. 

 They don’t understand me, not really. 

 I don’t understand me, not really.

 My opinions have changed over time. My experiences have taught me different things as I have lived them. The only truth I truly have, the unchanging and constant truth, is my Jesus. 

 And this sounds political. Interesting that HE has me posting it the day after election while we wait for the counts to come through, since that isn’t the point of this at all. This is medical, as usual. 

 My truth, as always, is that our bodies are temporary. We live. We die. We leave behind what we have done or not done, and the love we have shared or not shared. 

 It has been a rough few weeks. First; Zion is fine, but some blood work gave us a scare and called for more blood work. Stress for a mommy. 

 Andy’s time in airborne decided to show itself and cause some pain. Once again, back to the doc. 

 I am recovering really well from brain surgery, but memory is being problematic. I am training myself to just write everything down. No trusting the brain to remind me- that is what “notes” on the iPhone was invented for, right? 

 But God decided to make sure I truly meant it when I declared Joy above fear and trust in all things. The “C” word made an appearance. 

 I had a mole on my forearm that had changed shape, size and color, so Andy, amazing, wonderful, bossy man that he is, insisted that I get it looked at. Family doc removed a sample, like the 10 or so others through the years and I expected to be done with the whole thing, but no, this one had to be difficult and have cancer show up in it. 

 So, they cut out the whole thing, plus quite a bit more. I really should have educated myself more because this is going to be a much bigger scar than I expected! 

 Short warning- picture of “surgery” to follow. 

Surgery day

They cut out an entire diamond shape around the mole, then stitch it into a straight line. Some of this skin if far away from where it started! 

What I come back to, over and over, is the promise of this verse. This IS the day that the Lord has made.

 It is. 

 Whether we choose to see it that way, or not, is up to us. Whether we choose to rejoice in it, or not, is up to us. Whether we choose to live life fully, or simply survive, is up to us. 

“In some way or another we will have to learn the difference between trusting in the gift and trusting in the Giver. The gift may be good for a while, but the Giver is the eternal love.” F.B.Meyer

 So, my friends, keep choosing what you trust, and how you live that trust. 

 Show Love. 

 Shine Joy.

 Keep Hope. 

 Make your Faith visible. 

 Let Truth, the kind that cannot be hidden and will not be silenced, lead you. 

 Remember that you are blessed, every single step of the way. Even the hard steps. 

Patiently

I have so many words in mind, so many ready to overflow, but...

I have not been given the freedom to release them. 

For some reason God is keeping my words in smaller places. 

Trust me, I still speak, and write, and comment and do my best to let His words flow through my fingers and off my tongue any place I am given permission. But for some reason, the permission to write here isn’t released right now. 

So, “wait patiently“ is all I have to share. 

But I do add the verse below...

  Be ready. When the time comes to say what you believe, and why you believe it, be ready. 

 In the meantime my friends, please, live what you believe out loud. 

Shine your passions. 

Share the truth of the Joy of Jesus. 

Know that I am praying for His Love and Joy to pour out of you day by day. 

It, every moment, is a choice. Choose wisely. 

Being a neighbor

 Almost always during “this season” every four years I want to just hide from the world. Almost always Jesus does not allow me to just hide. You can read what HE had me say in 2008 and 2008, 2012, and 2017, after things “calmed down” haha. 

 So, here goes...

This post is a reminder of the most important commandment. “Love your neighbor as yourself.” 

 Love them. 

 It doesn’t say change your mind and agree with them, so I am not asking for that. 

 It doesn’t say to let them tell you what to do, or think, or believe. I am not asking for that either. 

 It doesn’t even say that you have to like them, not in the way modern America defines like (which seems to be “agree with”?). 

 But it clearly states, no, it commands, that we should LOVE our neighbors. 

 Google the Ancient Greek loves - the beautiful, multiple versions of love. Run them around in your head and ask yourself in honesty, especially as a Christian but even those of you who perhaps read this and are not a follower of Jesus, simply as a human- “Do I have love for my neighbors?”

 Then my friends, move to this next verse, please. 

 “And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise.”

‭‭Philippians‬ ‭4:8‬ ‭NLT‬‬

 Think about “such things”, as the NIV calls them. Why do we have to learn that over and over? 

 Seek them. 

 Find them. 

 Choose them. 

 Even in the middle of an election year, with a pandemic running crazy! 

 That is my challenge to you. Please my friends, love your neighbor. The one directly next door and the one two streets over and the one two states over. Love your neighbor. Then focus on the excellent and praiseworthy. Choose the pure and lovely. Find the admirable and noble. Live the true and the right in visible ways. 

 

 Speak kind words. Share kind actions. Live love out loud, EVEN IF it isn’t being lived back at you. 

 

 I will never stop sending this challenge my friends. 

 Please, please, keep trying to live with JOY.

 Be blessed my friends with the strength and passion to go and live love out loud!