I'm still alive.
Some days "alive" would be the strongest classification I would have given.
Other days I remember to live to the fullest.
I think that every time Andy deploys I have to learn, again, that I cannot let him be the center of my world. He is not just my husband- he is my best friend, the father of my children, my teammate for the nitty gritty and the plain and simple.
But you know who I had before him?
My actual best friend, who amazingly enough, loves me even more then Andy does.
I have a tendency to take Jesus for granted. I have no memories that don't include him. He has been the central part of my life for as long as I can remember. I trust that He will continue to be there every step, every moment.
But that doesn't mean I should stop trying to get to know him better!
He has the amazing ability to remind me of his presence at the exact moment I need him the most.
Somehow, that never ceases to amaze me.
Those moments when He simply steps in, puts his arms around me and reminds me that He cares about Every Thing- those moments get me every time.
I suppose that is the point?
When I have gotten distracted by my loves, hates, fears and joys, He always nudges me, just enough to get my attention, and reminds me that He was here first.
Andrew Ian was a gift to me. I continue to be thankful for him. But Jesus was a gift first, and was my best friend long before I ever met Andy.
When missing Andy seems like more then I can stand (like in these moments before family gatherings and when every single person in the world seems to be playing "I'll be home for Christmas") I have confidence that before I reach the breaking point my best friend will shake me, like only a best friend can, and snap me out of it.
My words have been lacking this deployment. This use to be where I found my peace but this time not so much. The words are there... they just aren't coming out. Maybe next year?
Right now we are celebrating and remembering the birth of The Best Friend who was willing to give all. And every single moment of life is appreciated.
May you have joy in all things and find peace in His presence my friends.