I can’t say with confidence when the first time I read Streams in the Desert was. I first wrote about it here, my blog, in 2008 and I don’t think that was my first time reading through. The collection of words that brought hope and comfort, gathered through a time of pain and confusion and later compiled into a book has spoken to me over and over.
This time as I read through I have been removing the tiny scraps of post-it notes left from previous journeys and finally christening the paper copy with a highlighter and pen, marking it with color and passion and even some of my own words.
It seems appropriate that the reading this morning was a beautiful story summarizing 2 Cor 6:10, “sorrowful, yet always rejoicing.”
I did a very interesting combination of sobbing and laughing yesterday; sorrow and rejoicing.
Habit says that while on the tread climber I watch tv- I use to try to read a book...but it is hard to read, even on an iPad, while walking at a speed decent enough to count as exercise. Yesterday I pulled out a cardboard box we had removed from mom's new place and decided to explore the options given in old VHS and 8MM. I wasn't inclined at the moment to watch my younger sister's dance recitals or stage performances. Andy's graduation from basic training? No, thank you anyway. Canaan's ultrasound was tempting, but that wouldn't have been long enough to exercise to. Then, I found our wedding rehearsal.
That was worth watching.
Emilee, a few weeks shy of 20, was already practicing her future job as a wedding coordinator, having opinions. Kelsey and Mary Faith, only 15 and 13 made me laugh with their silly antics and faces, and yet also cry, realizing that my children are already older than my youngest siblings were when I got married. Mom was just so beautiful, so excited, so hope filled. Since I am just a few short years away from the age she was then, I love seeing the passion flowing out of her, having that to live up to in my 40's.
Two of the women I call my best friends now were not as well known yet then, and I texted both of them, laughing about the things that have changed.
Several people who were highly involved and deeply loved have drifted away, not through anything purposeful, just the passage of time and changing locations. I mourned that.
Both of the men who performed my wedding are gone. Frank Kaleb died years ago, but seeing that video made me miss him yet again. Mostly though, when Daddy pulled his wedding rehearsal joke and tried to quote the Princess Bride line, well, I simply sobbed. He was horrible at it. Comedy wasn't his strength. Somehow though, that made it funnier, his attempt to be funny. I had to laugh too, even while I sobbed.
And that circles me back around to "sorrowful, yet always rejoicing."
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