Friendship

What defines a friend?

I have had a lot of need, over the last few months, for friends. Being unable to drive has put a pretty big crimp in my style.

We have only lived in this area for about two years. We are still newbies.

So, it would not be that unexpected, really, if people to take care of me were hard to find.

That has not been the case AT ALL.

I get rides to church and bible study. Homeschool P.E. class and the Commissary. People stop and grab a gallon of milk or a dozen eggs for me, since they are out anyway. They take me to doctor's appointments, and dentist's appointments, and out, just because I have cabin fever.

I haven't earned much love yet. I haven't been here long enough to have done much for them. Before I got sick I didn't drive them places, or watch their kids, or drop everything in my life just to run over to their house to keep them from losing their mind.

Yet still, they do these things for me.

That is friendship.

It isn't earned.

It is given.

Today, I had a chance to feel like I could reciprocate a little. I was able to do a couple favors for two of my friends here. Things that I am good at, and that don't require driving.

It felt good to "earn my keep". But at the same time, I would have willingly, and cheerfully done them, even if they had never given me a ride anywhere. Even if I didn't owe them a million thank you's, I would be happy to help them. Because,

That is friendship.

It isn't earned.

It is given.

We have moved over and over throughout my life. I have lived in 9 states, visited multiple countries, and am currently living in either my 30th, or 31st house.

Yet, there are people who have kept up with me through all those address changes. Forwarded letters across the country, and the globe. Back before E-mail was a common thing, we wrote our little notes on pink Strawberry Shortcake paper and mailed them back and forth. Two people that I love dearly have know me almost all of my life, despite my moving over and over. They could have decided I was too much work. They could have moved on to more convenient friends, who were close by, and easy to talk to. But they wrote their letters, and later their E-mails, and had me in their weddings, and call me up just to chat even now.

That is friendship.

It isn't earned.

It is given.

This weekend while my family was here all of us girls were sitting around my kitchen table, just chatting. Mom happened to ask my younger sister, Kelsey, how one of her friends was. A girl we all know, but that Kelsey sees most often.

She burst into tears.

Not the response we expected, to say the least.

It seems that last time they had been together this friend, and another friend, had been teasing back and forth about how much work Kelsey's wedding had been. She had chosen to go "green", thus had "real" dishes, and cloth napkins, and an outdoor wedding. After teasing her awhile about how much work it had been to prepare for and clean up after, the friend said, "I would never do that to my friends."

"Do that to your friends".... really?

If you have to "do that" to them, then they aren't your friends.

Friends happily, cheerfully, with everything within them sign up to help you when you need it. I think that along with sickness, and deployments, and newborn babies, weddings qualify as a need.

That is friendship.

It isn't earned.

It is given.

So, this Posting is a thank you to my friends. You have given me words of encouragement. Prayers for healing. Rides to doctor's appointments. Phone calls, just to say hi, on your way to Bible study. (you know who you are!) You have given me a lot, even though I haven't earned it. That is how I know we are friends.

Thank you a million times over!

(Side note: I believe that Kelsey's friend really is her friend. Don't judge her too harshly - she probably just wasn't thinking about what she was saying. However, anytime someone makes my sisters cry, I take is seriously! I may have to offer a beat down next time I see her!)