We watched "The Princess Bride" tonight. A wonderful movie, and one that was quoted at our wedding rehearsal (if you can't guess what part, then you have never seen the movie) but I always complain that Buttercup really was too much of a wimp. She should have fought harder in the fire swamp, helped more, grabbed the sword and jumped into the fight. I never wanted to be Buttercup. She may have been beautiful, and desired, but she didn't fight hard enough.
I want to be a fighter.
I keep telling myself that I am a big tough cookie. "What is four days without a call, seriously?" I have so much to do: school for the boys, play practice for Canaan, groceries to buy, friends to talk to, family to talk about.... When could I possibly even have time to miss him.
When?
That question could probably be answered best by a line in a cheesy novel I read this afternoon. And yes, I read almost the whole thing this afternoon. Andy is gone, books are back. Sigh - say goodbye to sleep.
But back to the cheesy novel - in it the girl had experienced her first "real kiss", and it distracted her from all else. She tried to convince herself that she wasn't obsessing... "There were times when she almost forgot. Why yesterday, while helping Mrs. Kemble she hadn't thought of the kiss for a full twenty-two minutes. Then this morning, while searching for a larger hat box for poor Achilles, she didn't think about the marquis or his blasted kiss for almost thirteen minutes and a half"
I laughed out loud. Then I groaned, because I think I am just as guilty as the young Honoria, and I can't blame young love, or first kiss or anything that flighty. I am just, still, after nearly 10 years of marriage, madly in love with my husband. I miss hearing his voice, seeing his face, even having him tease me without mercy about the cheesy novels I randomly pick up. I miss him, plain and simple. Even after basic training, tech school, 3 desert deployments and a year in Korea, I still miss him when he goes away.
I have learned to live, and function quite nicely when he is away, and even to take my sword and fight some battles as needed. But golly do I miss him - plain and simple, just him.
He finally sent a text tonight asking me to E-mail him some paperwork that he needed. He said that he isn't allowed to talk - no free time scheduled into the training yet, but he managed to sneak an "I love you" in with his paperwork request. I'll take what I can get.
I promise I would grab the sword and jump into the fight to save my "Wesley", but maybe I do miss him just a little more then I would like to admit! Perhaps I'm not as tough as I want to be... If I have to go much longer without hearing from him, I might go tromping off into the fire swamp, just to have something to distract me!
Blessings,
4 comments:
You are so cute! Thankful for texting these days!!!! :)
I had to smile at the names in whatever book is it you are reading.
I'm in a reading phase right now, I've read 3 books in the past 5 days.
Those Freeman men sure do make a mark when they're gone, huh? I would like to think I'm extremely independent and obviously CAN make it without Josh...but its just better when they're around. They really are our other halves! I hope time flies for you...we'll have to catch up again soon!
I can so relate still ....24 years into it.
Sometimes I think I get hung up on the "partner" aspect. In my mind a partner is at your side. And technically, a partner doesn't have to be standing next to you.
I remember I was having a real hard time during deployments and Tricia reminded me that in the Bible Joshua took the men across the river and the women stayed behind...God's plan, God's will. It helped me at that time when I was pretty much just angry all the time as my husband was always gone and my son was on self-destruct because his father was always gone.
I still shudder over those dark days.
You...as wimpy as Buttercup...inconceivable!!
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