I checked into UNC Neurology dept. yesterday evening. Again.
When I spent that week of Thanksgiving here they were able to pinpoint a little about my seizure location, but the desire to know more about where it is coming from, and the possibilities for treating it in the long run... well, we need more exact info.
So here I am, hooked up to an insane amount of monitors, trying to have seizures. It seems wrong, after all these years of trying to get them to stop, to now be trying to have them. But here I am.
I was very afraid coming into this (again) because I didn't know what to ask.
Of course, my Savior knew how to solve that.
I was led to Ezekiel 37, and the story of the valley of the dry bones. God asks Ezekiel "How can these bones live?"
How can dry bones have life in them again? The tendons are gone, the skin has dissolved, and the breath has been blown away.
That is not a question we can answer.
But Ezekiel knew how they could live.
"O Sovereign Lord, you alone know."
He didn't pretend to know how to make it happen, or even how to ask for it.
He simply stated the truth, "You alone know" and waited for instructions.
So here I am, praying with a definitive grip on the truth - My God knows.
I don't know how to fix my head. I don't even know what to pray for. But My God Knows.
The best part of the story of the valley of the dry bones is at the end - The dry bones were put back together, given tendons and skin, and yet, they were still not alive. They needed breath.
God declared, "I will put my Spirit in you and you will live."
And that is the definition of life. My body can fall apart, and it will. Everyone's does. But as long as I have the Spirit living in me, giving me His breath, then I am alive.
I would love to have prayers from you my friends. But I can't tell you what to ask for. Because I don't know. Only He does. So I guess guidance is the only thing I can ask!