Alexander...

 Last week, like Alexander, I had a "Terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day." Truly, it just kept getting worse. My cycle started, which is probably TMI, but when you know you are never going to have another baby it just seems such a waste of time and energy. The heater in the bathroom suddenly quit working, so it was cold when I got out of the shower. Zion spilled his milk everywhere as we were trying to run out the door for homeschool co-op. My blood sugar went sky-high (over 300!) because somehow my pump was not attached correctly. I forgot the library books, so I couldn't return them. The line was humungous when I stopped at the pharmacy to pick up my Synthroid. But we finally made it to the commissary. I just needed to pick up a few things - to get Andy through the week while we were gone. But of course I grabbed a few things on sale, and several for which I had coupons that were about to expire. Still, we made decent time, saved $25 dollars in coupons and tried to pay.

 No luck.
 Card rejected. 

I suppose a back story is needed here. Just a few days later my credit card had been hacked. As in someone tried to spend $1000 on it, and didn't have the expiration date. My bank caught it, called me immediately, and it was cancelled.
 But that left me with no card.
 We use ours for everything, then pay it off at the end of the month. (I refuse to pay interest on something I don't have to) But now my system was messed up.
 I only keep enough money in the checking account for a few basic things.
 And now that the credit card was unavailable I used the debit.
 And forgot that moving money to the proper account is sort of useful.

 Especially if you don't want to be standing at the grocery with over $100 worth of groceries and not be able to pay.

 I got online to my bank and transferred the money over. But by then I had gotten the password wrong on my debit several times (when I was first trying to figure out why it wasn't working) and the line behind me was horrendous.
 So the cashier dug through her drawer trying to find my coupons, and I sat there in complete embarrassment.

 We finally got the coupons back, got out the door with a small amount of my dignity intact, (but still no groceries), and went to the truck. At which time I started to feel just sick. So I checked my blood.

 27!!

Anyone who knows anything about diabetes can wonder why I hadn't passed out yet. But I hadn't, so I sat in the truck trying to find things to stuff in my face. I was seeing spots and things were blurring, but we found raisins and cranberries. A chocolate, down in the bottom of my purse.  And a moment of quiet.

 Canaan was as upset as I was. He is just old enough to be concerned about being able to pay the bills, and figuring out where money comes from and that it isn't un-ending. So I think he was also a little afraid. I realized that I was teaching them the complete WRONG way to respond.

 I stopped, and as he said, "This was the worst thing that could ever happen", I was able to give the proper response this time.

 "Not at all"

 I reminded them that we have each other, and they are all healthy and strong. My blood sugar was returning to safe levels as we spoke and we still have food at home.

 Then Canaan made it a special project to come up with disaster scenarios that would be worse then our day.

 "Lost in the desert, covered in boils and about to be kidnapped by aliens."
 "Already kidnapped by aliens and thrown into a pit with the (some monster from Star Wars) while still covered in boils and starving."

 And the list got even more creative then that!

 My blood sugar went back to normal, we got off base before rush hour, and we made it home with time to make dinner.

 But as we unloaded the truck from all the co-op supplies I realized that my little bag with a neatly organized box of coupons, divided by theme - well it wasn't there. Anywhere. After going to all that trouble to get my coupons back, I had lost the entire box.

 I think I may have cried at that point. 

 Ah well, what is money? Obviously with out CC being hacked and our debit card not working (because of my own failing), perhaps I was supposed to be learning a lesson about money.
 About dependence on it. 
 About trust in it.
 About living without it, or at least without as much of it. 
 About being reminded how very blessed we are, because our "living without money" was going a few days having to rearrange our accounts, rather then not having a job.

 Lessons are hard to learn. Sometimes they are even hard to find. Like, why in the world did the rest of my day have to be so difficult? So I could teach Canaan that there could always be worse and we have to trust no matter what? So that I would be better at finding the good, even in the moment I am most annoyed? Sigh

 But we are always learning. Sometimes we think we are "grown up" and should know everything we need to know. I have known Jesus my entire life. How in the world did I forget to trust Him for something as boring as groceries?

 So, a small moment of inconvenience in order to re-learn a lesson. I really can't complain.

 Although I did that evening, poor Andy! He loves me enough to sit and listen.

The next day on his way home from work, when Andy stopped at the commissary to pick up the few things he really needed while we were gone, he asked if anyone had turned in a bag of coupons. It was slightly mangled, and looked like it had probably been hit by a car, but it was there.
 The whole box, scissors and calculator included. Unable to be used, but full of all my saving potential.
 He stopped again on his way home, running into the local Walmart to buy me a newer, better box. He helped laminate dividers and label them clearly. The finished product is far better then the box I lost, and has the added bonus of being filled with love.

 I love that man.

 Money - an unfortunate necessity for feeding and clothing our children.
 Love - the best earthly thing imaginable.
 My Savior - The one who helps me remember how both those things rank.

 Hopefully I can be more organized for emergencies next time. Hopefully I can avoid blood sugars of 27 in the future. Maybe we'll go without spilled milk, broken heaters, and lost coupon boxes for the rest of time.
 But I doubt it.

 And you know what, that's okay!

 Because I know, and hopefully my children know now as well, that it sometimes feels like a "horrible, terrible, no good, very bad day". But within that moment is the reminder to take a moment and give thanks for everything we take for granted.

                                              Blessings my friends,
                                 Bethany