My birthday repost

It has become a bit of a tradition for me to repost this for my birthday. It was originally written May 31, 2009.

A post from the road

We are somewhere in Louisianna, at a Comfort Inn. My parents and children are in the room next door. Two of my sisters and a friend are in the beds behind me. I should be sleeping, and preparing for another day on the road tomorrow.
But right this minute I am just so very full. Full of Joy. Full of Faith. Full of Hope.
I have to let some of it out before I can attempt to sleep.

A few days ago I was reading a devotional about Nehemiah. They basis of the reading was pointing out in the second chapter when the king asks him why he is sad, Nehemiah is terrified but his first reaction is to pray.
My absolute first thought when reading this was, "well duh!"

After reading through the encouraging devotional concerning this subject I was actually in some ways disheartened. I was so saddened by the thought that there are some people, God fearing Christian people who love Jesus with their whole heart, who would not have their first reaction be prayer. What a sad, sad, thing to focus on fear, or any emotion really. How very blessed I am that I was taught from my earliest memories to place absolutely everything at the feet of God.

So, I have been thinking about this scripture, and prayer, and my amazing family a lot over the last couple of days.
After spending a lot of hours in the van with my parents and Kelsey driving to TX, I have had plenty of opportunity to NOT like my family. But none of those little nitpicky things matter. Honestly, it may drive me a little batty the way my dad drives, or they way my mom fusses at the way he drives, but those things don't change what really matters.
We were raised right. That is just a wonderful thing to have!

Now, on the way back to GA, we have Mary and her roommate Lindsay with us, and a second car. The van is loaded down with all the girls stuff, my parents, and my kids. The car has the four of us girls. As we were driving down the road this evening a song came on about God being our healer, and our portion, and something about trust. For some reason I just lost it. I was suddenly tired of being sick, tired of asking for healing. Tired of waiting for my sister to be well, and have a baby. For most of my life my parents have taken me to healing services, had me prayed over by anyone with that gift, asked repeatedly for God to step in.

The answer has always been Not right now.

The healing has always been for my heart, and my attitude, and my ability to cheerfully be diabetic, willingly use my disease as a ministry. I have had plenty of healing, and I wouldn't trade it for physical healing - not for a minute.

But for some reason this new disorder, these blackouts, or atypical migraines, or whatever they are - they are sapping my ability to cheerfully "deal". Added to that my unbelievable hurt for my little sister's physical and emotional pain, and the fact that my hubby is gone and our adoption is still delayed...
I guess I was a walking timebomb full of tears.

But here is the amazing part. Kelsey reached over and grabbed one hand. Mary reached up from the back seat for another hand. And we poured out our tears to our Father. Fears and hurt. Hopes and dreams. Old and new. As a family, automatically.
We were missing one sister, but she was definitely included, and prayed for.

I am so very thankful for my family. I am so glad that our automatic response, to pain or joy, is to take it to Jesus.
Faith. Joy. Hope. Truth. That is what we have, as well as who we are.

 See those beautiful baby bumps? Direct answer to prayer. 

More beautiful then I could have even imagined 4 years ago. 

 And this day of joy... Mary's wedding. I had no idea that God was going to bring another red-head into the family. (and since one of those baby bumps turned out to be a red-head too, well, excitement all around!)

Emilee and I

Then Kelsey came along.

Mary was a bit of a surprise, but a great one! 

Oh, I love these women!

Quite a bit has changed in our lives since I first wrote this post. New family members. Changes in location, and job, and health for all of us. 

But many things remain the same also. Most importantly, we have faith in our Savior, and an unbreakable love for each other. 

I am eager to see what another year brings (even if I am not too excited to be getting another year older)! 

Blessings,  

The First Decade

 Canaan is 10 now.
 An entire decade old.
 Where did the time go?
 Wasn't it just yesterday when he was this size?

His "Birth" day.

Matching daddy, back when Andy had glasses, and fewer tattoos! 

 Before I knew it, his first birthday came...

and he was a curly headed little mess monster! 

 Then, one more blink, and he was turning five!

Sixth birthday was army. 

Seventh was last minute.

 At 8 he got to fly a plane.

 Last year we didn't have a party, but the theme of the birthday was still easy to spot...

LEGO! 

 This year, we had a blast of a birthday party.
 If you know my kids, you can guess what the theme was.

 LEGO... of course.

 Andy made a fabulous cake. I swear, that man has more talents then I can keep up with. 

 We played soccer. 

Daisy was included quite nicely.

 We built race cars.

 Had races.

 Played dress-up... 

although, only the 2 year old guest participated in that activity! 

 Ate pizza, 

and of course, cake.

Yum yum!

It has been an entire week, and I have adjusted to calling him 10. But still, it doesn't quite seem real. Before I know it he will be driving! 

But first, I get to have another birthday! 

34, here I come. 

Blessings, 

Yakkity yak

Sometimes I wonder if I shouldn't just learn to use Facebook.
 Not that I don't know how. I just don't make it part of my daily life. I would have to learn to take the time to post as things happen. Today my life was just full of fun little moments that I have to share - and since I don't use Facebook, this is where my words end up.

 This morning Zion walked up to me, out of nowhere, and said, "Mommy, when I grow up I am going to save the Pandas".

 I nearly cried (while I laughed) at the pure zeal - and the absolute faith he has in his ability to solve the problems of an endangered species. There is still such easy faith at age 7.


 As I type, the toads are background noise. From all the way upstairs. With lots of enthusiasm.

 Andy discovered toad spawn the day before yesterday. They have obviously been very busy! We had eggs once before, but the grownups ate them. This time we removed them from the tank and gave them a little space of their own. You live and learn, right? The first tadpole hatched today- it has begun!
 Since we have 25-30 eggs in a tank, I figured I better educate myself. Canaan and I watched Youtube videos this afternoon, trying to prepare for what comes next. Looks like we are going to be busy for the next 4-6 weeks! Eggs hatching. Tadpoles swimming, changing, and growing. Lots of learning.
 And I will just let Canaan think that "frogs make a lot of noise when they lay eggs". Of course that is why they are loud!

 Canaan recently decided that he wanted to make a stuffed animal. He dug through my fabric stash, searched youtube for ideas, and had a pattern drawn up and started within an hour. I must admit that I ended up doing more of the sewing then I wanted - but he did more then I expected too. (Can you tell that I was not thinking positive when we started this project?)
 I think he turned out pretty good for a first try! He might need a little more stuffing though.

Just a quick pic on the phone, so don't judge too harshly!

 The big news around here is that I have another niece. My sister Kelsey had her daughter on Friday afternoon. She came home from the hospital on Sunday, but had to be readmitted tonight. Her bilirubin count is really high and she is having a hard time getting the hang of eating. Since she was only 5 1/2 lbs to start with, losing weight isn't a good thing! My big fat 9 lbs babies had some to spare!
 I haven't heard yet if I am allowed to post pictures online, so I won't. But if you want to see her, send me an E-mail. And please, if you could take a minute and pray for health, (and for peace too!) that would be so very appreciated.

 Blessings, 

Easter

As promised, Canaan's new and improved story. Improved, not perfect! (I am typing it with spelling and grammar errors included)

"Oh, no! The Easter Bunny slept late! Now he has to...
 ...hurry out of the hole and get in to his jet-bus and drive. Mrs. Bunny was in the pasenger seat and Jr. Bunny in one of the back seats and Bob Bunny in one of the other back seats and Hunny Bunny back there too.
 Then they stoppped at the first house and as fast as you can say "egg", poof! the Bunny family had alredy made it to house two thousand one hundred and fifty-nine. That is like the whole town of Adairsville. Very soon he was done and stopped at the toy store and got bob and Jr. action bunny figures and hunny a bunny doll. Next, off they went to bunnymart and got Mrs. bunny a new flowerpot, and went home. the end
 And the writer fell asleep zzzzz"

He needs to work on capitalization, and a few spelling errors, but we can fix that. I love that he felt the need to add the sleeping to the end. He had to tie the old story in with the new!

Zion wrote an Easter story too.

 "The Easter bunny brought me a chocolate egg. Right as I went to take a bite out of it....
... an alien popped out and flew to the Easter party and said, "My name is E.T. and I love Coke."

 Andy wants to know if it is Coca-cola or the other stuff. But he says that both our boys are aware that "crack is whack"!

 While speaking of Easter - we had some fun!

 Church party

 3rd Group Easter party

 Look at that jump! (and in cowboy boots too)

1st place in his age group for the obstacle course!

 Canaan got a pretty good jump in too, but Andy was running the camera at that time so there aren't as many pictures. He was running the camera because...

it was time for the 3 legged race- it's all about the teamwork, or if you are a big army dad, picking your kid up while you run! (see below)

 Canaan had to work with someone his own size - great way to get to know someone!

 Daddy's car, painted on their faces

 "Bethany - get that camera away from me!"

 Tug of war!

My prize winning boys- all worn out, but they had a blast. 

And we still had a fun ride home...

As Andy explains it, "The mistress is back!"

Still here

 Andy has a line he likes to say on a regular basis...

"Never volunteer excuses or explain a shortcoming unless an explanation is required. More damage than good is done by proffering unsought excuses." 

 So, with that in mind I won't waste time excusing my absence from here.
 Just know that I didn't quit on purpose!


 School has carried on, obviously, as has work, and seasons continue to pass by. We have just been rolling along - learning.

 A few days ago I gave Canaan two lines, and asked him to write the rest of the story. He needed to fill at least 2/3 of the page, be creative, and use proper grammar. Correct spelling was definitely something to aim for, but, as I realistically prepared myself for, something we could fix later.

 Apparently Canaan was not inspired at that moment. He knew how far down the page he had to go, so he began to look for randomness with which to fill it. For instance, "The Easter Bunny slept and slept and slept and slept and slept." was spread across an entire line, plus some. Twice.
 That was a sleepy Easter story.

 I couldn't help but laugh at the comedy in the story, but the attitude in which it was given - the deliberate waste of space so that he didn't have to come up with something new to write... He knew he was wrong.

 Andy's comment, after sending Canaan to the other room, was "That little smart ..." Hilarious, but at the same time - unacceptable. (both Canaan's paper, and Andy's comment fit that criteria!)

 Canaan knew that he hadn't done his best. He knows that he is going to have to re-write the story with not only corrected spelling and capitalization, but with a new attitude.

 The question is, how often do we do that? We fill up our schedule with "good" things. Things that fit the criteria. But we know they aren't the right things.
 We read the right books and expand our minds.
 We add filler, so there aren't any empty spaces looking at us with accusation.

 But are those spaces perhaps meant to be empty?

 A good short story is far better then a long, rambling, pointless one. And sometimes filling the page just isn't an improvement.

 So, for tonight I am going to say "Don't be afraid of empty spaces." In conversation. In your schedule. In your relationships.

 Less of a good thing will win every time when compared to a surplus of unnecessary excess.

 Canaan will be writing tomorrow. I will post the new and improved story here, and we can talk about good words. Good use of time. Good listening to what God has for us.

 Until then...

Blessings,  

Valley of the Dry Bones

I seem to spend a lot of time "up in the air". Not spacey, although my husband would probably say that is true also. No, I meant that my life itself spends lots of time in the realm of unknown. As in, "What comes next?"

 I checked into UNC Neurology dept. yesterday evening. Again.
 When I spent that week of Thanksgiving here they were able to pinpoint a little about my seizure location, but the desire to know more about where it is coming from, and the possibilities for treating it in the long run... well, we need more exact info.
 So here I am, hooked up to an insane amount of monitors, trying to have seizures. It seems wrong, after all these years of trying to get them to stop, to now be trying to have them.  But here I am.

 I was very afraid coming into this (again) because I didn't know what to ask.
 Of course, my Savior knew how to solve that.

 I was led to Ezekiel 37, and the story of the valley of the dry bones. God asks Ezekiel "How can these bones live?"
 How can dry bones have life in them again? The tendons are gone, the skin has dissolved, and the breath has been blown away.
 That is not a question we can answer.
 But Ezekiel knew how they could live.

"O Sovereign Lord, you alone know."

 He didn't pretend to know how to make it happen, or even how to ask for it.
 He simply stated the truth, "You alone know" and waited for instructions. 

 So here I am, praying with a definitive grip on the truth - My God knows.

 I don't know how to fix my head. I don't even know what to pray for. But My God Knows. 

 The best part of the story of the valley of the dry bones is at the end - The dry bones were put back together, given tendons and skin, and yet, they were still not alive. They needed breath.

 God declared, "I will put my Spirit in you and you will live."

 And that is the definition of life. My body can fall apart, and it will. Everyone's does. But as long as I have the Spirit living in me, giving me His breath, then I am alive.

 I would love to have prayers from you my friends. But I can't tell you what to ask for. Because I don't know. Only He does. So I guess guidance is the only thing I can ask!

 Many Blessings, 

    Bethany