Flabbergasted...

We have gotten involved this week at the church we have been attending here. I have finally found some people to connect with, and that is so exciting. Tonight Andy got out of school early (he had a test, so only had to stay long enough to take it) and we all went to "small group" as a family. At this church they keep the kids at the church, while the grownups go different places for different groups. Our group had a good variety of ages, most with children, one other homeschooler, two ladies that teach at a local Christian school, some prior military guys... good group for us I think. We ended up talking to one of the teachers and Andy was so enthusiastic, and excited to hear about the school. That put my shield up, of course. Not that I have anything against Christian schools...I just knew where it was going.
Of course, on the way home afterward we had a "discussion" (that is code for an almost arguement) about homeschooling, again. I was fussing at him because I have always talked about homeschooling, I thought he was open to it, he has had years to get used to the idea, yada yada yada. He wants me to put Canaan into a Christian school, try to get a job at the same place, and eventually Zion would be there with us too, when he got old enough. I am totally closed to that idea. Possibly when Zion gets old enough for school I would consider it, but not while he is so young. Anyway, I was telling him that he needed to really pray about his attitude, and that he needed to be more open to God's leading, and I realized.... have I ever really prayed about homeschooling? I have always assumed I would teach my kids at home. That has been my dream, my goal, my desire my entire life. But is it God's dream, God's goal, God's desire for my boys? I have to admit that at first glance, I don't see how it could NOT be God's will, but I can't honestly say that I have specifically asked him about it. I KNOW that God called me to be a mother above all else. I have a degree, I am not afraid to use it, but even in college, when people asked what I wanted to do afterward, my answer was "get married, have babies". I even have the t-shirt to prove it. (do you remember that Michelle? I still have mine, by the way) So, being a Mom is God's will for me. I do not doubt that. I can't see how keeping them home would not be part of that plan, but if I am going to ask Andy to seek God about it, I have to be willing to seek him too. There is a chance that his plans are different than my own. That terrifies me. How do you know the answer to a question like that? I suggested that if Canaan can't read by the end of this school year, we could consider sending him somewhere. Andy vetoed that immediately, because quite honestly, Canaan can read now. He doesn't like to work at it, but when he sits down and tries, when he has an interest, he can read several of his little "hooked on phonics" books.
I think that Andy is still way too influenced by his own upbringing, but when it all boils down, so am I. I just think the way I was raised is "right" and his was "wrong", at least as far as schooling goes. How do you help someone over come that? I really haven't anticipated this problem. I didn't plan for it, don't have a ready arguement. Carrie, you just had to talk your husband into it. How do you do that? I thought that Andy has agreed with me for all these years. I have been talking about homeschooling our children since before we ever had one. I just assumed that he was fine with it. I am slightly flabbergasted.
I guess the first step is to take it before God with an open heart, just in case I am wrong, and this is not what I am supposed to do. Pray for me, because I am truly at a loss.