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I am happily married to an amazing military man who spent 9 years enlisted and is now an Officer in the US Army. We have two amazing boys who are not so little any more! They still infuse every moment of every day with creativity and energy, and make my life an adventure.  I was educated at home, and am now teaching our children - second generation homeschoolers! I try every day to become more like Jesus Christ, and to love like HE does. If you want you can try and catch me at bethylovesandy@yahoo.com

My Blog Title Verse

"For the Lord gives wisdom. From His mouth come knowledge and understanding." Proverbs 2:6 NKJV 
The Message translation puts it this way "God gives out Wisdom free, is plainspoken in Knowledge and Understanding."

Verse of the day

Wednesday, November 07, 2007

Flabbergasted...

We have gotten involved this week at the church we have been attending here. I have finally found some people to connect with, and that is so exciting. Tonight Andy got out of school early (he had a test, so only had to stay long enough to take it) and we all went to "small group" as a family. At this church they keep the kids at the church, while the grownups go different places for different groups. Our group had a good variety of ages, most with children, one other homeschooler, two ladies that teach at a local Christian school, some prior military guys... good group for us I think. We ended up talking to one of the teachers and Andy was so enthusiastic, and excited to hear about the school. That put my shield up, of course. Not that I have anything against Christian schools...I just knew where it was going.
Of course, on the way home afterward we had a "discussion" (that is code for an almost arguement) about homeschooling, again. I was fussing at him because I have always talked about homeschooling, I thought he was open to it, he has had years to get used to the idea, yada yada yada. He wants me to put Canaan into a Christian school, try to get a job at the same place, and eventually Zion would be there with us too, when he got old enough. I am totally closed to that idea. Possibly when Zion gets old enough for school I would consider it, but not while he is so young. Anyway, I was telling him that he needed to really pray about his attitude, and that he needed to be more open to God's leading, and I realized.... have I ever really prayed about homeschooling? I have always assumed I would teach my kids at home. That has been my dream, my goal, my desire my entire life. But is it God's dream, God's goal, God's desire for my boys? I have to admit that at first glance, I don't see how it could NOT be God's will, but I can't honestly say that I have specifically asked him about it. I KNOW that God called me to be a mother above all else. I have a degree, I am not afraid to use it, but even in college, when people asked what I wanted to do afterward, my answer was "get married, have babies". I even have the t-shirt to prove it. (do you remember that Michelle? I still have mine, by the way) So, being a Mom is God's will for me. I do not doubt that. I can't see how keeping them home would not be part of that plan, but if I am going to ask Andy to seek God about it, I have to be willing to seek him too. There is a chance that his plans are different than my own. That terrifies me. How do you know the answer to a question like that? I suggested that if Canaan can't read by the end of this school year, we could consider sending him somewhere. Andy vetoed that immediately, because quite honestly, Canaan can read now. He doesn't like to work at it, but when he sits down and tries, when he has an interest, he can read several of his little "hooked on phonics" books.
I think that Andy is still way too influenced by his own upbringing, but when it all boils down, so am I. I just think the way I was raised is "right" and his was "wrong", at least as far as schooling goes. How do you help someone over come that? I really haven't anticipated this problem. I didn't plan for it, don't have a ready arguement. Carrie, you just had to talk your husband into it. How do you do that? I thought that Andy has agreed with me for all these years. I have been talking about homeschooling our children since before we ever had one. I just assumed that he was fine with it. I am slightly flabbergasted.
I guess the first step is to take it before God with an open heart, just in case I am wrong, and this is not what I am supposed to do. Pray for me, because I am truly at a loss.

4 comments:

mom0ktdid said...

I think that as a spritually in-tune person who desires God's will in her life, that you would have a "feeling" if you were doing something out of God's will. That's just the way I feel about it. I do agree that praying about everything should be done...but you have had such a strong impression your entire life that this is what you should be doing...couldn't that very well be God "telling" you your calling? I am sorry that you are going through this with Andy. Maybe he is just feeling pressured because of the criticism from his family and others he may have run into. I agree that Christian schools are fantastic...at least he isn't pushing you to public school!!!! I will go on welfare before my children set foot in a public school...they just don't learn what is important there!
When Corey and I first started talking about homeschooling...it wasn't that hard to convince. The biggest thing we had to talk about was the fact that he wanted me to have all the stuff we needed to do it "right." Which, I am discovering changes everyday...it is so much more casual than I thought we would have to be. Our biggest "discussion" occurred over whether or not I would quit work and stay at home...and at that point Katie was enrolled in a Christian school for the 3-yr old program. After he saw that we could make it on one income, homeschooling wasn't that big of an issue, and I have to credit your family for that. He has seen what an incredibly close family you guys have, and how successful and well-adjusted you and your sisters are. It was truly convincing to him...because above all else we desire to have a close family...with strong moral values. Our involvement with a larger church and increasing involvement with other couples with kids has alleviated any socialization concerns.
What exactly are his concerns against homeschooling?
Our goal at one point in time was the same as Andy: For me to get a job at the school where Katie was going and for Noah to go as well. Just because we had not considered my staying at home. After applying twice, it was obviously not God's will for me to work there, as much as I actually desired it at the time!
Another convincing factor for Corey: he knows I wouln't stay home if the kids were both in a Christian school...I can't imagine myself at home when there are no kids here. He has also had the "before" to compare to...the time when I WAS working...which was AWFUL!!!!! The clothes didn't get washed, there was never a meal ready, I was always cranky and tired (infer there:) the house was always a mess. Andy has never experienced life with a working wife with kids. That would convince him for sure!!! lol.
If he just wants Canaan to go to "school" would you ever consider (before he gets too old or something) a morning or afternoon program? Sort of something like the playschool here does...just enrichment or something, or putting him into tumbling, karate, etc.?
Another thing to consider for him, is the COST! How expensive is the school? It was just not worth it for us, when they could learn the same stuff at home with me!
Sorry this is so long, I am just rambling on and on here...

Secret said...

So, I just wanted to say that another thing that made me pretty much okay with the switch was the fact that I was home schooled for awhile too. Granted, we got a lot of grief because of that from certain family members, but it worked well for the time that we did it. I also just think it is the best thing to do, in Carrie and my situation anyway.

Now, as far as being cranky and tired go, somethings never change (infer there.....)

Corey said...

just in case you could not tell, the "secret" is actually me. Mwah ha ha!! *thunder clap*

Michelle Maxwell Nebel said...

Oh my goodness, I still have mine too! :-) It's actually in a pile of Shorter shirts in my craft room, for my "one-day" project of turning them all into a quilt.

And, btw? I am *still* the egg. :-D