What do you see?

"Your inner attitudes do not have to reflect your outward circumstances." Carol McLeod 

So, what do you see in that picture? 

Cheerful flowers?

A tangled mess? 

Pollen that will make you sneeze?

Passion and beauty and creativity and new life? 

Now, what do you see in this one? 

A trap leading to death?

The source of food, and thus life, for one of God's creatures?

Stickiness?

The breath-taking reflection of diamonds as dew catches the rays of the sun as it peeks into a new day?

What do you see?

 That opening quote spoke to me about a month ago. I wrote a FB post about it, if you want to read it. I have been reminded, over and over again recently, that what I choose to see is what I will see. 

 I spent the beginning of last week on the phone, a lot. One problem after another with insurance and medical clearance and communication. I have a wonderful primary care doc here in Troy, an amazing team of docs at UAB and, actually, a really great insurance company through the military. Yet, multiple times in a row it just kept getting messed up. Over and over. Phone call after phone call. Wednesday morning when I showed up at UAB for the last test I needed for the next step in this seizure surgery process, boom - it had gone through incorrectly and had me approved for anesthesia. Getting put to sleep was not part of the day...and the test was supposed to start right that minute. 

 For just a split second I thought about quitting. 

 Yet...I couldn't. So, I got on the phone again. They passed my cell phone around the office for about 30 minutes. Then, boom (again)- it was fixed. 

 Does that question come up in your world? When are we supposed to quit? When are we supposed to keep fighting? When is God calling us to let go and when is satan trying to keep us from getting to where we are supposed to be? 

 I don't know the answer to that. There is no easy answer to that. Every single time I have to just stop and ask for THAT time. I have to stop and consider quitting. I have to stop and consider going forward. I cling to Psalm 119:15 "I study your instructions; I examine your teachings." GNB 

 Every single time, my Savior lets me know. 

 We kept going. The testing was done. I had a follow up on Friday. I am approved for the "next step", which is to be placed before "the board" - a group of Neurologists and Neuro surgeons who will all discuss my case. They will all talk about where exactly my brain is mis-firing, and what damage those seizures are causing. They will discuss the risks of surgery, the risks of the "pacemaker" for the brain, the risks of waiting and doing nothing. 

 That "board" happens on Thursday. I assume they will contact me next Monday and tell me what they decided. There will be more tests and more discussions. They will tell me all of the risks and rewards and I get to have the final say, obviously. 

 But right this minute I choose to see that the test went through. I choose to see that step was done. I choose to see that there are several options being discussed. I choose to see more, not less. 

 Choose carefully, my friends, what you will see. 

 Be blessed, as you keep your eyes and your heart open!