Little dots of color

First things first. 

No coronavirus detected!

Yesterday I had reached the end of my rope. 

I truly was weak. I was only strong because of my Savior. Plain old Bethany Ruth was plain old weak. Waiting for those results is painful. 

It was so unlikely that I had it. I hadn’t been exposed. I have stayed home. Andy has washed carefully every time he has gone anywhere. We have been so safe. 

But, fear is sneaky and I am human. 

So I was afraid. 

I was having a meltdown and went outside to look for happiness and saw these weeds. 

And somehow, they made me happy. 

The picture is horrible. 

The flowers are just random wildflowers, springing up in the middle of the back yard. 

 But they are a different color, unafraid to stand out. 

They are small and temporary and unpretentious. 

They are delicate, yet strong. They are tiny, yet somehow still notable.

They made me happy. 

I want to be as brave as them. 

I want to be unafraid to stand out.

I want to not care if I am small or temporary and I truly hope I am always unpretentious. 

I want to spring up where I am planted and make someone happy. 

This morning when I woke up still raspy and horrible sounding I think Zion was disappointed. He wanted it to be a miracle- when the results came back negative then I would suddenly be well. 

That isn’t how life works. There is still sickness. 

Or perhaps just really bad allergies, hitting immediately after being sick, hitting immediately after starting a new seizure med that makes me exhausted anyway. 

I am talented that way. :) 

Sometimes there are no big miracles, just little ones, enough to keep you taking one step at a time.

I am rambling. The point I am trying to make here is to celebrate the little dots of color. 

Even when the rest of the world thinks they are weeds. 

Celebrate the things that are unafraid to be beautiful. 

Then, be one of those things. 

Thank you for your prayers my friends. 

I need them! 

Be blessed. Be beautiful. Be YOU!