I don't know if any of you ever listen to the music that plays on my page, or just mute it while you read. I know I am guilty of muting other people's music at times, so I can't hold it against you if you haven't heard what I have been playing. All of them on my list mean something at this point in my life. However, there is a Keith Green song on my list called "Make my life a Prayer to you" that really, really speaks to me. If you have an extra minute I encourage you to listen to it.
Now, no one wants to see me less than healthy, and I must admit I don't really want to be less than healthy either.
We go to a church that believes in and acts on the gifts of the Spirit. Several people have laid hands on me and prayed for healing in the last several weeks.
I have been told to claim my healing.
I have been reminded to have faith.
To wait patiently on the Lord.
To ask knowing that He answers those who follow after Him, those who have persistence.
And I can't really disagree, Biblically with any of this advice. But then I hear this song -
"It's so hard to see when my eyes are on me" -
I don't want to have my eyes on me anymore.
This morning rather then preach, the pastor just felt led to have a time of prayer, for restoration, for healing, for redemption - whatever.
It was a beautiful time. But the word I kept hearing from God, over and over was this -
"Don't just seek me for what I can do. Seek me for who I am."
He has already done everything we really need. He sent Jesus who shed His blood, paid the price, and became the bridge. Now, He wants to be our best friend.
Everything else is just a bonus.
One of the girls who prayed over me prayed that God would grant the desires of my heart. That was when I realized that being healed was really low on my priority list.
I want my children to know the heart of God, to seek Him and find Him.
I want my husband to continue to follow with his whole heart, to be happy in what he does, to shine Jesus at work. To let me love him through the disappointments.
I want my daughter to come home - oh, I want my daughter to come home.
I want to make my life a prayer - just like the song.
Sure, I would like my body to be whole. But that comes under quite a few other priorities. First, I want to seek Him for WHO He is, rather then what He can do. No more selfish eyes on me.
Is He your best friend? He want to be. Take my word for it, He is the BEST best friend out there!
If you don't know Him, please, send me an E-mail and I would be happy to tell you more.