They tend to stick around in your head, don't they? Those pesky, annoying voices, shouting at you, "Failure".
I messed up months ago and just found out this week. Not fun. Now I have paperwork to fix, and we have decisions to make. (about our adoption)
I was sharing with our home church tonight how I was both saddened by my own lack of knowledge that led to the problem, and worried about what comes next.
One young man pointed out the verse in Matthew 6:25, "do not worry" and reminded us that anything God says "do not" is absolute. If we do not obey, then it is sin. So when we worry, it is sin.
We have a Savior who forgives, and all we have to do is "confess our sins and he is faithful and just" to forgive. (1Jn 1:9)
So I confessed my sin of worry, and they laid hands on me and prayed for clarity about what comes next. When I got home tonight I was looking for one of the verses we talked about. I couldn't find it, but instead I found this one. "Be patient then my brothers until the Lord's coming. See how the farmer waits for the land to yield its valuable crop and how patient he is for the autumn and spring rains. You too, be patient and stand firm, because the Lord's coming is near." James 5:7-8
Right this minute I am waiting for my child's (or possibly children's) coming. But I think the verse still applies. I am supposed to wait for the rain, and stand firm in what I know God called us to do. When things don't go as I had hoped, that doesn't mean we quit.
And that doesn't mean we worry.
We just trust.
When they prayed over me tonight several people felt that God was saying that even with the delay, or perhaps even because of it, we would receive a double blessing. Obviously, I am hoping that means two children. But perhaps the double blessing is just another step in maturity to go with gaining a child.
Either way, I will gladly take a double blessing.
First I have to figure out the maze of paperwork that I messed up, fix it, and get this train back on the right track.