I have been "tripping" down memory lane today, and I mean that more literally then you might think. It is dangerous to think baby too often, to reminisce, to sigh and remember - ESPECIALLY when you still really want another. Tripping, leads to falling. Falls leads to bumps and bruises. None of that is pretty.
So instead, let's try to walk nicely down memory lane. No tripping allowed.
I got to hold a baby this weekend. 6 weeks old. Perfect for cooing, and gazing up into nowhere with those big eyes that seem to see everything. I asked Zion if he thought we should have a baby like that and his expression was something like this...
with an emphatic "no" afterward.
He wants a little sister that already runs and plays. Not a baby.
I think Canaan felt the same way when we first brought Zion home.
He was about 5 weeks in these pictures.
"What do I do with this thing?"
"He looks funny."
"Well, maybe he's not too bad...."
"What did I do? Make it stop crying!"
Where did four years go? Sigh...
We went to a birthday party this weekend. A first birthday actually, for the son of one of Andy's troops. This little boy was born while Andy, and the daddy too, were deployed last year. It was a really wonderful party, celebrating both the first anniversary of his birth, and the fact that they were together as a family to party. I love how military life makes you appreciate moments. Moments that sometimes you might not think to appreciate. How many parents get annoyed spending a Sat. at a children's party? I am pretty sure that my husband never will. Because he has missed too many.
So, for every moment we miss, we gain something too.
We gain appreciation for what we do have. A chance to hold on a little tighter. A chance to smile a little wider, laugh a little bigger, love a little deeper.
I may not ever be able to truly be thankful for the moments we have missed together, but I will choose to find the good. And that gift I am grateful for!