An official diagnosis

I was at the Neurologist this morning, to talk over the results of my EEG.

It is strange really, how mixed my feelings are. I have wanted a diagnosis for quite some time now. Something official. Just to know what was causing these strange episodes. We have had our suspicions - but I wanted to KNOW.

So, now I do.

I have a form of Epilepsy, called Absence seizures. The strange thing is, it is very very rare to develop it as an adult. In fact, the doctor doesn't seem to think that I just now developed it. He thinks I have had it for years, just less intense, less noticeable.

It is usually a childhood disease. Many children outgrow it by the time they are adults, but not all.

I have been googling it whenever I could catch a free moment this afternoon and evening. There isn't much out there that is reader friendly. Most of it is written in doctor language.

Let me share a description of an "episode" with you.

"A patient stops for a moment whatever he or she is doing, very often turns pale, may drop what ever is in the hand. . . There may be a slight stoop forward, or a slight quivering of the eyelids. . . The attack usually lasts only a few seconds. The return of the consciousness may be sudden and the patient, after the momentary lapse, may be in just the same state as before the attack, may even continue a sentence or action which was commenced before it came on, and suspended during the occurrence.

Absence with clonic components. Fast eyelid flickering is probably the most common ictal clinical manifestation, and may occur during brief generalized discharges without discernible impairment of consciousness."

That is the technical description I found here. The eyelid flickering thing is def. one of my major signs. It makes me slightly dizzy.

I read in one of the papers that I perused that absence seizures can progress to full grande mal, if left untreated. I guess if I have had this for years, or even if just for a year, but with a doc who didn't believe it was a seizure, and continued to insist it was just an abnormal migraine, that is why I progressed to a full grande mal. However, now that I am proven to be having tiny little seizures continually, he has changed my meds around. With stronger, full dose medicine, I should not ever have a grande mal again.

I never posted the numbers, did I? During the 68 hours I wore the EEG I had 22 little mini seizures, and one "big" one. Not a grande mal, just a bigger absence one. This was while medicated. No wonder I was feeling so yucky last year when I wasn't on meds at all. I only felt about 5 of them. So the medicine is doing something. I did tell him how much I HATE topamax. He agree to up my dose of Lamactil, and in a while gradually reduce my topamax. Hopefully that will help my sanity.

Sorry this is such a boring post. I am still processing. It was nice to get an answer. But at the same time, it really just brought more questions. Why did I not notice it until I was 29 years old? Did I just not have it at all, or was it just really weak? What made it stronger? Will I have it forever, or outgrow it, like many children do? (How funny is that to think about me outgrowing something, at 30 years old?!) Did I do something to trigger this? The doctor said something about this being a genetic disease... do I need to worry about my children now? I already stress about passing along diabetes - Great! Another thing to feel responsible for. Also, if this is genetic, where did I get it from?

I wait. I pray. I continue to praise, in all things, at all times. As the last post said, march around Jericho, singing, and blowing that trumpet, even if you don't understand. That is my command, and I will trust and obey.

Questions always get answered - eventually.