A confession...

After watching "I am Legend" I was, of course, slightly scared. So I picked up one of the dozen or so books on my bedside table and decided to read awhile, to take my mind off of zombie like creatures that want to eat people. Instead of reading two chapters then turning off the light and getting some much needed sleep, I instead stayed up and read THE ENTIRE BOOK! It was "Sundays at Tiffanys" by James Patterson. Obviously, I really liked it. I usually have several books going at the same time, because my mood changes frequently, (the Bible, historical, mystery, thriller, devotional, etc) but I have been especially bad lately. I literally have 12 books on my nightstand right now! I read very little last week, because I had to plan my VBS class every night, and I was always ready to go to sleep. But, that is over, and I plan to resume my former schedule. ie: read until I cannot possibly keep my eyes open for one more second, then regret it all day the next day, only to get second wind when Andy and the boys fall asleep, thus following the same pattern again, over and over until I finally get so tired that I actually go to sleep at a decent hour! After one night of really good sleep, I will then start the pattern over again! Because, I LOVE to read.

 On a separate side note: I have discovered a new love. For our anniversary last Monday, Andy got me a Nintendo DS with Diner Dash. (that is a game) I am really enjoying it. (Carrie, I give you full blame, and credit, for getting me addicted to the DS.) At one point in time I borrowed Carrie's DS and Andy saw that I enjoyed it, and he held onto that memory. I am really hard to shop for, because I am really cheap and usually talk myself out of anything "wasteful".  Andy loves me, and loves to "waste" money on me, because that is his love language. So he always listens carefully when I mention something I would like to have. I am so glad that he does, because I never would have thought to ask for a DS, but I sure am enjoying having one. 

 I saw another blog with this beautiful list a wife had made of things she loves about her husband. I may attempt that some time, but tonight is not the night. However, I did want to say that we had a really great anniversary. Life is good, and Love is even better. 7 years sure have flown....

I am Legend

I have lots to say, now that VBS is done, but I am too tired to write right now. I need to go to bed, but I am not sure that I am going to be able to sleep. Andy and I just watched "I am Legend". It was very interesting... I really liked it, but at the same time, it is the kind of movie that makes me unable to sleep! I loved the contrast between science and faith, and how faith won out in the end. 

 We'll see if I am able to keep the mature adult perspective once I turn out the lights! I may just curl up to Andy and keep him awake all night, so he can protect me! I am such a chicken!!

other changes...

I nearly forgot to say... I changed some options. You can now leave a comment under anonymous, so if you do not have a blogger ID, you can still leave your words of wisdom, or criticism, or humor. So people, start talking!

changes...

I finally put a picture on my "profile" today. I was looking through random shots that are saved on the computer and came across this one. It made me sit back for a minute and (after laughing at my ridiculousness) think some deep thoughts. How random is that? Deep thoughts because of a silly picture? It has been amusing me recently to realize that I am actually outgoing. When I was 7, I was downright shy. When I was in middle school, I came out of my shell a little, but since I was a homeschooler, I was rarely in crowds, especially crowds my own age. In highschool I was pretty quiet. As a freshman in college, I was sooooo nervous in speech class that I thought I might pass out. Then suddenly, with no apparent trigger, I became truly comfortable with myself. I think it was because when I was in college I saw a lot of people that I did not want to be, and that me more comfortable with who I was. 

 Any of you who have met me since college probably had no idea that I was absolutely and without questions SHY as a child. Who would have thought that I would end up leading VBS music and teaching a class at a church where I have only attended 9 months and only know about 20 people by name! I guess shy really does not apply to me anymore. So, in honor of that, I have added a silly picture, showing my personality in a different light! 

An Andy story

Andy received the bible on CD, read by Johnny Cash, from my sisters for Christmas. He listens to it in the truck most mornings, on his way to work. Shortly after christmas he came up with the brilliant catchphrase, WWJCD. Not, what would Jesus do, but what would Johnny Cash do. He drops it into conversation on occasion, just because he is Andy. Anyway, yesterday when he was searching the wonderful world wide web looking for pictures of Triumph motorcycles (his latest obsession) he somehow ran across a site that sells WWJCD bumper stickers. He was both thrilled (because it is SO cool) and crushed (because someone else had the same idea that he had, making him feel less original then he previously thought). As far as I know he did not order it, but I won't be surprised if a WWJCD bumper stickers show up on his truck in the near future.  That's my man!

VBS

 I haven't posted on here about my adventures in VBS. A few weeks ago at church they were having sign-up for Vacation Bible School. I signed Canaan up, then asked if they still needed volunteers to help. Of course they did... you can never have too many volunteers! So I signed Zion up for nursery also, and said I was willing to help anywhere. She said they needed people to help with music, and I replied that I had some experience in that area and would be happy to help out. A few days later, (in the middle of my battle with my sinus infection) I got a call from the VBS director saying, "I am so glad you volunteered to LEAD the music". I just said, "umhum", which actually meant "I did what?" but was interpreted as "Yes". So, two weeks before VBS I find out that I am in charge of the music. I had a few minutes of panic... but it isn't actually that big of a deal. We have a CD, so all I have to do is be enthusiastic, and know the "motions". I can totally handle being enthusiastic... not a problem for me!! Learning the motions hasn't been too hard so far. I don't have them "down" completely, but I am getting more comfortable! I have three other ladies on the team with me. We had a meeting last night, and ran through the motions a few times, and showed them to all the other teachers. That was my first test in whether or not I am going to be embarrassed! I figure if I can get up in front of adults and make motions like a monkey and a rooster, then I can handle it in front of 150 kids! The other ladies on my team are real troopers. We are passing the DVD around, so we can all be comfortable with the motions, and I typed up the words for everyone, so they can memorize them. Fun times! 

 VBS starts next Monday (which is also our 7th wedding anniversary) and I am starting to get excited. I miss teaching. This is the closest I will get anytime in the near future. (because teaching your own child is really really not the same) Since we are currently still short on volunteers, I may end up doing two jobs! Can you just see me, leading the music with one hand, and making crafts with the other!  We'll just wait and see what happens! It always works out... 

My truth for today - part 2

"For all have sinned, and fall short of the glory of God" Romans 3:23

 This is the theme for this blog that has been in my head for several days. The way that verse has been stuck in my head though is incorrect. I had it memorized as "fallen short", past tense. The NIV I read today says "fall". That is present tense. As in, right now, every day, constantly. God's word never fails, and not surprisingly, the verse fits into what God has been impressing upon me EVEN BETTER now. 

 I have been reading a lot of Solomon lately. 1 Kings and Proverbs are both a part of my weekly reading right now. (I am doing a "read through the bible" program, available here ) God gave Solomon the gift of wisdom. He was the wisest man of his time, and was respected far and wide. When you read Proverbs you find it full of little tidbits that are actually applicable to daily life still, today, thousands of years after they were written. Yet, against his own advice, and despite having a personal relationship with God and being blessed immeasurably by Him, he messed up. A lot. He took a lot of wives, then let them lead him around to worshiping false gods. The man who built the holy temple for Yahweh ended up worshiping idols make of stone and wood. I think for modern society that is a little unbelievable. Worshiping something man made still happens, all the time. I have been to India. I have seen it. When Andy was in Thailand, it broke his heart. But, we live in America. Idols are such a foreign idea. But, we have idols. And not just the singing "American" kind.  And not just the big box in the living room that the singing ones appear on. Those are obvious. Most of us who have been Christians for a long time are aware of the obvious "idols". That is not what this blog is about. I just keep being reminded of the fact that ALL HAVE SINNED AND FALL SHORT. No matter who you are, or how long you have been following Christ, or what kind of background you have, or how much time you share with others, or how much money you donate to God.... you still fall short of the glory of God. We are failures, even those of us who know God. But...this is where it gets really good. IT DOESN'T MATTER!!!! We will never be perfect. We will never figure it all out, never do it all right, never obey all the laws or have all the answers. We don't have to. It is a gift. "If righteousness comes through the law (or actions) then Christ died in vain." Galatians 2:21  I LOVE that! 

 I am working through the verses before that right now. Galatians is an amazing letter. 

 My struggle right now stems from this post called "light vision" I found through a friend. The woman who wrote this is a pastor... hopefully seeking God with her whole heart. If she has been convicted to feel this way, should I? I don't think so. Not exactly. This blog started the whole "truth" kick I have been on lately. I am still trying to seek. Sin is not justified - see Galatians 2:17. But, since we all fall short, daily, what sort of "falling short" banishes you from God? What sin keeps you from being a Christian? Deliberate sin? Repetitive sin? I've done both, and God did not abandon me. He got my attention, and reminded me of what was right, but even when I fought him, and argued with him, he didn't stop being my father. Who am I to decide for others? I know I fall short. That is the only thing I can be the judge of. But I also know that when I fall short (daily), God reminds me (daily) of where I should be and how to get there. 

 So, I will try to seek truth daily, and encourage those I love to do the same. 

 Blessings, Bethany

pictures

Zion has been falling asleep in some interesting places lately. I just thought these pictures were hilarious.  

 He loves that rocking chair. He pulls it all around the room, trying to get the "best seat in the house". I was at a VBS meeting the other night and Andy was watching the boys. He turned on their new "Sharon, Lois and Bram" DVD (Thanks Carrie) and they were all sitting there watching it, and the next thing he knew, Zion was out cold, sitting straight up in his chair. It was only about 6:30, but he was out for the night. Andy carried him to bed. He woke up for a few minutes at midnight, then was out until 7:30 the next morning! 

Side note for Lindsey

I actually have not read anything Shel Silverstein, except for "The Giving Tree". So, I cannot give you any advice on him. I loved "A child's garden of verses" when I was a child, and have read some to my boys. I love the illustrations of Eloise Wilkin, so I read them that "version", as well as anything else of hers that I can get my hands on. If you don't know of her, I highly recommend getting your hands on anything she has drawn. Her pictures of babies and children are my favorites! A lot of her stuff is available in Little Golden Book form. 

 My boys are not as enthusiastic about poetry as I had hoped, but they don't seem to hate it. They aren't even real fans of nursery rhymes. But, they love Dr. Seuss, and A.A. Milne!   

A quick note

Mom was complaining today because I haven't blogged in several days. Sorry! I have had what I thought was a 24 hour bug, but instead has turned into a 3 day headache. Literally. I finally went to the doctor today, and they gave me an antibiotic, just in case, a steroid (because he thinks it is just allergies, and that is supposed to help !?!) and a super dose of Ibuprofen (which is the part that is actually doing something!) Anyway, I am hoping that 24 hours on 800mg, every four hours will work. I have had 400 mg every four hours the last two days, including the middle of the night, and that hasn't quite cut it. But I am very optimistic that I will be better tomorrow. So, hopefully I will be writing more tomorrow. I actually have LOTS to say! 

The last one for tonight...

Poor little Zi has been sick today. It really didn't start until we were at the commissary this afternoon, but he got a dreadful fever. He pretty much slept all afternoon, and didn't get to go to Emma's birthday party this evening. Around 10, after everything was calm and quiet, he woke up screaming bloody murder. He was just shaking, then stiff as a board, this shaking again. I thought he might be having a seizure or something. I don't think he was really awake at first. We put a cool washcloth on his face, since he was burning up again, then I just held him for awhile. He wanted his blanket on him, even though he was burning up, so I guess the fever was making him have chills. Anyway... we gave him Motrin and put him back to bed.  He woke up again a few minutes ago, but not nearly as much as before. I think that is my sign that I better get to bed, since I may be getting up again in a few hours to soothe a sick baby!

 Hopefully he will feel better in the morning!

Pancreas

I found this poem last night when I was wandering around the wonderful world of blogs. As someone whose pancreas does not always work properly, but does still do many things it is supposed to, I really got a kick out of this. I would like to "second the emotion" and give my faulty, but still useful, pancreas some praise!

Anywhere, Anywhere. I don't know...

I have been trying to introduce Canaan and Zion to poetry, but wanted to start pretty simple. Besides Dr. Suess, who better than A. A. Milne, right? (the author of Winnie-the-pooh) This was tonight's poem, and for some reason, it just really struck me.

Spring Morning

Where am I going? I don't quite know.

Down to the stream where the king-cups grow-

Up on the hill where the pine-tress blow-

Anywhere, anywhere. I don't know.

Where am I going? The clouds sail by,

Little ones, baby ones, over the sky.

Where am I going? The shadows pass,

Little ones, baby ones, over the grass.

If you were a cloud, and sailed up there,

You'd sail on water as blue as air,

And you'd see me here in the fields and say:

"Doesn't the sky look green today?'

Where am I going? The high rooks call:

"It's awful fun to be born at all."

Where am I going? The ring-doves coo:

"We do have beautiful things to do."

If you were a bird, and lived on high,

You'd lean on the wind when the wind came by,

You'd say to the wind when it took you away:

"That's where I wanted to go today!"

Where am I going? I don't quite know.

What does it matter where people go?

Down in the wood where the blue-bells grow-

Anywhere, anywhere. I don't know.

A. A. Milne, 1924

I want to remember that thought process, and make sure my children are allowed to enjoy it. Right now, they do not have to have a plan. They do not have to have a goal. They can lean on the wind, and go where it takes them. Anywhere.... anywhere.

My truth for today

I think the biggest thing God has been impressing upon me is that we HAVE to stay in his word. There are a thousand different translations, and I don't know if I have an opinion about if one is better than another. Obviously, the original Hebrew for the Old Testament and the original Greek for the New Testament, but honestly, how many of us know Greek or Hebrew? Even I, the daughter of a preacher, know very little of either one. So, with every translation, there are going to be arguments. How accurate? How spirit led? Sometimes after one of these discussions, I just want to quit reading the Bible all together. But I have a generous God, and he always reminds me that HE WILL SPEAK if I am trying to listen. And I deeply believe that the first step to trying to listen is to study all his words. If you seek him, you will find him. Right now, I am really enjoying "The Message" version. It doesn't even try to be a translation, just a version. I guess for a specific question, I would want to try some other translation, but for every day, just seeking God, and trying to hear his voice, I am enjoying it. I guess what that boils down to is that I trust that Eugene Peterson was truly seeking God's leading.

My dad stands strong by the King James, or the New King James. Something about "the original text it was translated from" is older and more accurate. Since he is the one who taught me, most of my verses I have memorized and stored in my heart are in New King James.

I started this post around 10 this morning. It is now 5:21pm. Oops! I guess I will close, and post, and add more later! For now, the point I am trying to make is, Seek God, through his word, and He will give you truth. But you have to seek with your whole heart.

Bethany

Truth

I read a lot of blogs. It is just something I like to do in my "free time" (ie: when I should be sleeping). Within my circle of blogs there has been a lot of questions, and opinions, and posturing on "truth". Because of that, truth has been on my mind, and has been part of my ongoing discussion with God. It was pretty thrilled today when our church started a new "8 part series" about the cornerstones of what we believe. There was a lot of talk today about truth, and a beautiful time of prayer after the sermon. The pastor actually asked for everyone who is seeking more understanding of the truth to come down for prayer. I had JUST THAT MORNING asked for a deeper understanding of truth, and there was the pastor, asking to pray for ME!!!! I just love when God gives me confirmation that he really is listening.

John 8:45 is Jesus speaking, and he says "because I tell the truth, you do not believe me". BECAUSE? Really? I have never really understood that before, but I think I got it today. We, as humans, don't want to know the truth if it is uncomfortable. If it doesn't fit into what we have already decided, then we don't want to believe it. Our pride, our own identity, our own "reality" can keep us from the truth. It is easier to not believe the truth.

I am doing a lot of searching right now. Truth seems absolute, and that is scary. I don't like absolutes. I am a pretty flexible person, in most things and thoughts. But I know that I am supposed to seek truth, in all areas. I am going to try to keep this string of thought going on here over the next few weeks. I cannot promise that I will always be absolute, but I will be seeking, and sharing. Stay tuned....