Today has been yet another emotional one.
I heard someone refer to the adoption process as "paperwork pregnancy".
I seem to have hit the "uncontrollable emotions, cry at the drop of a pin" stage of the pregnancy.
Last night while Andy worked I climbed in the attic and pulled down the Christmas decorations,
tree, and gift wrap - with only the help of a six year old and a 3 year old. Not Andy's fault, but it
sure is enough to make me tired of his 12 hour swing shifts. This morning the boys and I set up
the tree, started the decorating, (they are LOTS of help, let me tell you, especially while trying
to keep quiet so Daddy can sleep!) and I threw in some Christmas music.
This is one of the first songs that came up.
And we wonder why I cry? Last year I remember listening to this song, crying a bit and thinking -
"It's too soon to have her yet, but next Christmas, she will be home."
Not so much.
This year, I wrapped beads around the tree and bawled.
But next year - next year is still something to hope for, and dream about. Somewhere, deep down
inside of me, there is still that spark. That joy. That peace, and a piece that looks forward -
To next Christmas.