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I am happily married to an amazing military man who spent 9 years enlisted and is now an Officer in the US Army. We have two amazing boys who are not so little any more! They still infuse every moment of every day with creativity and energy, and make my life an adventure.  I was educated at home, and am now teaching our children - second generation homeschoolers! I try every day to become more like Jesus Christ, and to love like HE does. If you want you can try and catch me at bethylovesandy@yahoo.com

My Blog Title Verse

"For the Lord gives wisdom. From His mouth come knowledge and understanding." Proverbs 2:6 NKJV 
The Message translation puts it this way "God gives out Wisdom free, is plainspoken in Knowledge and Understanding."

Verse of the day

Friday, September 17, 2010

Marriage: Anticipation and Planning

 Most of us, at least us ladies, plan our marriage well before the event. Not just the wedding - the marriage. The dress and the flowers and the cake are always talked about as the thing every little girl spends her childhood dreaming of. I would venture to say that there are plenty of young women who spend a good bit of that time budgeted for wedding planning dreaming about the groom also.
 Not just who he will be, but what he will be:
 "Tall, dark, and handsome." "Rich, dashing, and debonaire." Or even "Bold, strong and courageous."
I knew exactly what I wanted.
 I was the daughter of a missionary, granddaughter of a preacher. I was looking for someone with a similar background. I was a bookreading, high GPA, classical music loving nerd, who wanted to settle down, have kids I could homeschool and shine Jesus wherever I was. Once again, I thought I would find someone similar.
 Everyone I dated, or even had a serious crush on, was serious minded, slightly bookish and had very set plans for their future. Not that we didn't know how to have fun - I am making us sound like a bunch of sticks in the mud. My life was just very planned out. How can I put this...

 Ever watch X-men? I was planning to marry a Cyclops. Good man. Steady, strong, full of love and ready to work hard to get the job done, whatever the job may be.

 But then, Wolverine showed up. Simply rode into town, and threw everything in my world out of balance.  I was introduced to Andy one night at a concert on our college campus. He was a transfer, fairly new to town and needing friends. One of my girlfriends said, "Bethany, this is that guy I was telling you about. The one who got arrested last week."
 I was 20 years old, and nothing in my life has EVER been the same.


 He had sideburns and tattoos, and was an art major. Where did that fit into my plan?

 But, he loved Jesus, and he loved me, and somehow, that was all that mattered.

(He always wants me to clarify the whole "arrested" thing. That was mostly a wrong place, wrong time, 19 and stupid thing. He sat in a holding cell for about two hours until his parents came and got him and he ended up with a ticket. Still, it makes a great story!)


Having a plan is a good thing. Thinking ahead, preparing for what might come. But even more important is the ability to be flexible. Sometimes what we plan for just can't work. If we get our hopes set on something and focus all of our attention on it, then when something changes we get lost.
 Last night when I was trying to take a picture of Zion I zoomed in from across the yard. Then, he moved. That super focus on just one spot was nice and clear, but the object I wanted was no longer in that spot. I had to change my point of view entirely, drawing back to see the big picture first, before I could zoom in again.
 In fact, in the meantime, I got some really great shots from farther away.
 Those close ups are precious, because they show facial expression so nicely. But sometimes seeing the wider angle, looking at more then just one face at a time gives just as amazing of a picture.
 Not what I originally planned, but it made me just as happy when I sat back and rolled with it.


 So Wolverine and I keep making our little plans. Every day we are learning more about each other, where we are going, and how to get there as a team. 
 We have changed each other, but in wonderful ways. He loosened me up. I toned him down. He taught me to ride a motorcycle. I make him balance his checkbook. 
 There are moments when we fight over who has control over the zoom button on the camera - and what exactly we focus on. In the end we always reach the same conclusion though-


 Who is making the plans around here anyway? Certainly not us!

 "'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.'" Jeremiah 29:11

 And after all, "the foolish plan of God is wiser than the wisest of human plans and God's weakness is stronger than the greatest of human strength." 1Cor 1:25

3 comments:

mandy said...

it's funny...in a God sense...you should be writing this after the conversations i have recently had with friends (we may have even touched on it)...I had a friend randomly come to me the other day and tell me my "package" of what i am looking for in a husband may not look the way i think it does...and not to count ppl out just because there are things in his life that don't fit the nice neat box...thanks for sharing...love you!

Carrie said...

very nice! I LOVE that verse!

Anonymous said...

AMEN!!! I love you sis and seriously you need to write a book =)

Mary