We serve a Great God.Even in my time of discouragement, HE remained faithful. Even when I let my flesh be weak and sorrowed, HE remained strong. Even when I just wanted to cry, HE filled me with joy (which is totally different then happiness, but so very much better).
My devotions for the last couple of days have just been so very fitting for my "mood". I LOVE IT when God takes something that I was already planning to read anyway, and makes it fit my situation perfectly. It is like He is speaking directly to me, through a book that was written years and years ago.
Listen to this reminder: "I trust in thy word." Psalm 119:42 I think I needed to hear that! Just a few hours before I read that, I had cried on Andy's shoulder... or at least as close to it as I could get through Skype. I was just so discouraged, and downhearted about Kaleb. Missing Andy on top of it was just adding to the situation.
My very wise true love reminded me of some things that I already knew, and just needed to hear again.
1) God IS in control, and has a plan for Kaleb. If he is supposed to be healed, he will. If he is not supposed to, we have to celebrate for him. Accepting that and being ready, NO MATTER WHAT is very important. It doesn't mean we quit asking for what we WANT. But it means we trust God, no matter what the outcome.
2) It is okay for me to lean on Andy sometimes, and let him be my support, but (as Andy pointed out) he is not perfect, only God is. So, I need to remember whom my true support is, and whom I am supposed to really be leaning on.
I thought it was really appropriate that just a few minutes after getting off of Skype, where we had this conversation, my scripture reading for the night was, "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest." Matt 11:28
I think someone was trying to get my attention, and remind me that their shoulders are stronger then mine.... stronger then Andy's.... strong enough to hold the whole world.
I'm not saying I won't ever slip into the sin of worry again.
I can promise you I will cry in sorrow again.
I'm just so thankful that I was reminded by a gentle word that I know my Savior's heart. I am assured that His plans for me are in His hands. That is promise enough for me.