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I am happily married to an amazing military man who spent 9 years enlisted and is now an Officer in the US Army. We have two amazing boys who are not so little any more! They still infuse every moment of every day with creativity and energy, and make my life an adventure.  I was educated at home, and am now teaching our children - second generation homeschoolers! I try every day to become more like Jesus Christ, and to love like HE does. If you want you can try and catch me at bethylovesandy@yahoo.com

My Blog Title Verse

"For the Lord gives wisdom. From His mouth come knowledge and understanding." Proverbs 2:6 NKJV 
The Message translation puts it this way "God gives out Wisdom free, is plainspoken in Knowledge and Understanding."

Verse of the day

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Sitting Still

I have to admit something -
I am still struggling with faith.

I daily work at a positive attitude.
I seek to live life with JOY, no matter the situation or circumstances.
But some days are harder then others.
Yesterday, even when I was mailing Andy's package south I still felt "heavy". Weighed down for some reason.
Now I know why.

It seems that Andy's commander has advised him that, as much as he approves of him, he does not think he would make the final cut in the OTS program. The latest numbers say that only 13% of applicants are getting accepted, so only those with the highest scores, best history, the "shining stars", need apply.
My love is a wonderful worker, who has absolutely nothing negative on his record. But he really only has two or three brilliant things on his record too. His commander feels that the competition is too stiff, and with his record it just isn't worth pursuing.
That hurt.

Especially after the miraculous arrival of the package, and the convenient handling, so that I didn't have to drive south... It just seemed as if God had his hand in it, and was leading us in that direction.
To have the door slammed so emphatically in our faces was disconcerting - confusing.
But - I have been reading Job lately. My worries cannot compare to his, and my knowledge is much greater then poor Job's. I have the word of God, right at my fingertips, to sustain me.
Job cries out, "Where is God my maker, who giveth songs in the night?" Job 35:10
I found a fabulous quote that expands on that thought.
"The strength of the vessel can be demonstrated only by the hurricane, and the power of the gospel can be fully shown only when the Christian is subjected to some fiery trial. If God would make manifest the fact that "He giveth songs in the night," He must first make it night." William Taylor.
So, right now I feel like it is night. I got a glimpse of what I thought was daylight, but was only a shooting star. That star has gone, and now we will wait for daylight to come.
Sometimes the darkness seems scary. Sometimes it is hard to tell which way to turn, because the path is hard to see in the dark. There are so many paths, all of them with their own little bits of light shining at the end - it is really hard to tell which one is daylight, and which ones are just lightning bugs, or well lit billboards, or perhaps heaven itself.
So right now, we wait, in the dark. And we trust that He who gives a song in the night, also gives a light at the right moment.
When no light is given, perhaps just sitting still is what is asked of us?
After all, "we know that all thing work together for good to them that love God and are called according to His purposes". Rom 8:28
Sitting still really is one of the hardest tasks ever asked though...

4 comments:

Carrie said...

The William Taylor quote is incredible. I am sorry you heard that news, but don't give up hope... Praying with you and hopeful with you. Loving you!

Kelsey and Travis said...

Remember with God all things are possible(Matt 19:26 & 10:27). Also in so many cases in the Bible God doesn't use the people with the SPECTACULAR and shinning records, He often uses those that the world see as ordinary to do the greatest work of all. Even if that doesn't include being office for Andy God sees all this strengths and how He can shine through him and I know beyond a shadow of a doubt He will use Andy for great things! I love you and agree that waiting is at times AWFUL but rushing ahead of God would probably be worse so we wait.

autumnesf said...

Nnnnoooooo!

A commander makes or breaks it. Ugh!

You guys have any moves coming up soon? Any hope of a new commander in the near future??? It's not that hard to do the paperwork and send it through. Maybe they have someone else in mind and don't want the competition.

I do have to say that we had something similar that happened here about a year ago and everything was slammed in our faces after we felt God was leading us that direction. About a year later we have orders to somewhere we shouldn't be able to go and all blocks just fell away overnight and things changed. We weren't even thinking about it anymore and had started looking for other options (while praying for God's will and guidance the whole time). God is amazing and who knows what is in store.

Karen said...

The first thing that came to mind after reading this post were the lyrics..
Hold on my child,
Joy comes in the morning...
The darkest hour means dawn is just in sight...