Stop and enjoy it

 That old saying, “time flies when you are having fun”… well it seems that it is true about life in general. 

 Even the moments when you aren’t exactly having fun…

 Time still flies. 

 My firstborn rode away this week, off to start Army basic training. 

My “baby” is more than 8in taller than me. 

(This is not a good picture, but in the last minutes before Canaan left I had a meltdown and needed a “family picture”. This is what I got.)

 My husband, that boy I met in college, has completed almost 20 years in the military now. 

 We might be getting “old”, but don’t tell him that!

 

 Time flies. 

 Stop and enjoy it my friends. 

 Take a deep breath in the middle of the rain and listen for a moment to the music the drops make on the rooftop. 

 Be still as the sun sets and notice the crazy colors expanding across the sky, then applaud as they disappear, just because you enjoyed the show. 

 Lay quietly next to the person you love and enjoy their heartbeat and slow breaths, and maybe even some snoring, as sleep comes after a long crazy day. 

 Stop and enjoy it my friends. 

 Time flies. 

 Remember to SEE that you are blessed every single moment. 

 We would very much appreciate prayers for Canaan in basic training!

A delayed update

Hello my friends. Time flies! 

 The Troy house sold. Finally. It took a little longer to actually close than expected so we are very thankful to have family to be crashing with while our things are in storage and we are completely up in the air. 

 The military life is still the main one, but the draw of the civilian life is getting stronger and stronger as it draws closer and closer.

 On the other hand, Canaan is working on paperwork to join up and follow his Dad.

 Our life seems to be a lot of “hurry up and wait” recently. 

 So, I don’t have much to say about where we are going or what we are doing. Mostly, we don’t know. 

 What I will say is what remains true always….

 One step at a time, focused on the hope set before us but living RIGHT NOW, in the moment we are given. 

 Be blessed my friends, one step at a time. I will be back on the Internet eventually, I suppose, but in the meantime you can always text or email me. Know that you are lifted up, always. I promise, God places so many of you, my amazingly wide variety of people who have loved me over the years, on my heart throughout the day and I turn around and lift you back up to Him. Know that you are loved! 

 Live with Joy!! 

A mist

 I think some see this as a depressing verse, but it is also very inspiring. We don’t know what will happen tomorrow BUT... we have this very minute. 

 Use this minute for all that it is worth.

Choose the words and actions and even facial expressions of this very minute to be full of what Jesus is asking of you. 

 It has been a very full and intense few weeks here, since I last wrote a blog. 

 My firstborn son graduated from highschool and turned 18, officially becoming an adult. 

 The house sold and the packing has been full power since we are moving most things out a full week before we close.... and that moving date is barely a week away now. 

 My mother’s health has been atrocious, so we ran “home” to spend some time with her AND to celebrate another homeschool graduation. A choice for JOY in the middle of crazy. 

 My health hasn’t hit the atrocious level, but neither diabetes or epilepsy are being nice to me right now, which keeps me on my toes. I had some testing done yesterday, for my birthday, which will help determine what I even qualify for as a “next step” for epilepsy. But that is a story for another day. 

 As I said, very full several weeks. 

 But, as James says, “What is your life....(but) a mist.”

 When I read that verse this evening, with a blood sugar of 315 and on the grumpy level of attitude I was made aware, once again, that it is my choice how I react. It is my choice how I live. It is my choice whether my “mist” is a spring filled loveliness or a dark evening gloom. 

 We are all a mist. What kind shall I be? 

 As James sums up, just a few verse later... “So whoever knows the right thing to do and fails to do it, for him it is sin.” James‬ ‭4:17‬ ‭ESV‬‬

Choose to be a mist that not only does what is right, but shares it with others. Choose what brings Joy, shares love, reminds of hope, shines Jesus, plain and simple.

 Yes, we are just a mist. But the mist, although temporary, can be both beautiful and useful. 

 Make that choice. 

 Be blessed my friends, choosing to see the beauty in as many steps of the journey as you can. 

Produce Perseverance

While “cleaning” today I found this following message, a response to a text message or perhaps an email, that I had copied and saved in the “notes” on my phone. I don’t remember who it was originally written to, or if I even sent it, but I have people in my life that it fits. Finding it now, more than a year after it was originally written, I want to make these words available. I want to point out this truth, again. 

 “No argument from me that some things are just bad. And many of them we never get to see any good come from. Perhaps no good does ever come from them, if no one is asking God for it? Rom 8:28 adds at the end “for those who love Him and are called according to His purposes”. If no one is seeking the good, perhaps it is just completely bad? I don’t pretend to know the answer to that. You have seen a lot more bad than I have my friend. And very different bad.

 I do think though that joy is a choice. And it is nothing like happiness. No, a tree cannot choose it’s fruit, but the amount of sun it soaks up, reaching out its branches with hope, and the amount of rain it reaches out for, digging those roots deeper into the unforgiving soil around it... those things make the fruit stronger, and bigger, and sweeter. The tree is planted, and it is what it is... but it gets to choose whether it shrivels up or reaches out. 

 And just because it chooses one thing one day, doesn’t mean it doesn’t get to/have to choose again, the next day, and the next, over and over, choosing. 

 Some days I don’t choose to look for the good. Some days, in all honesty, I curl up and ask God to please let me die. When I have had blood sugar readings of 400 and 45 in the same day. When I have had 4 seizures in 12 hours time. When I have thrown up, for no diagnosable reason, over and over- sometimes I forget to look for the good. I forget to seek joy, when happiness seems so far away. I am just tired. 

 But Joy, not happiness, is always there. Always.”

JOY is strong here today. 

 There is nothing new on me, medically. 

 There is nothing new on selling the house, Andy getting a new job, or moving closer to our parents.

 There is nothing new on my mom’s broken body, the lack of medical equipment at the hospital in Kenya my BIL works at, (please go read that one) or the angst people carry about the world in general. 

 Yet, JOY is a choice and I am choosing it. 

 Please, join me in choosing it. 

 I am so glad to have found that old message, written in a time of pain, reminding me that those very trials faced have already produced perseverance. 

Grow my friends. Grow those roots down deep. Soak up the rainwater, even when they sometimes seem to be bigger rain drops than you think you can handle. Grow those branches strong, able to handle the wind. Grow those leaves full and thick, able to offer shade to those around you who are having a hard day. 

 Be blessed as you grow my friends!

Ruth and Mara and Naomi, all three

 On Sunday there was a baby dedication at church. The branch of the church that we worship with has the parents come to the front and, in the simplest way of describing it, ask for help in raising a child of God. We, as the body of Christ, commit to stand with them and support them as they strive to do that. It is simply a reminder that we are a team. 

  This baby stood out to me more than usual because her name is Ruth, which is my middle name. Her precious baby self called to me to remember the story of my name. 

 The story of Ruth is one of my favorite in the Old Testament. She is a foreigner, not a Hebrew, yet she ends up in the family line of King David. She experiences pain and loss, yet she holds onto hope. She doesn’t know all of the answers, so she trusts people she loves to lead her in truth. She works hard. She loves enthusiastically. She doesn’t give up. 

 Sometimes I think that those of us who study the Bible want to focus on Ruth too much and leave out Naomi. 

 Naomi had to have her time as Mara, her time in mourning, so that Ruth would come to the promised land, marry into what would become the royal line and eventually the birth line of Jesus. The bad was horrible. But it had to happen. It had to lead to the good later. 

 What God keeps pointing out to me, over and over, is that we have to have faith that our bad has a purpose too. Naomi didn’t get to meet King David, but she helped create his family line. We HAVE TO believe that our suffering leads to something good even if, sometimes, it is too far away for us to see.

 My grandma, who was literally and figuratively a Ruth in every way, was such a fabulous example of this to me. She loved others without condition. She gave and gave and gave. When she hurt, with my pastor grandfather in a coma for two years, slowly wasting away, I am sure she had moments when the Joy was hard to find and the Hope seemed out of reach, but she never quit loving others in the meantime. She never stopped. Then, after he died she still simply poured out love and trusted that her Savior would take care of her. 

 So, my goal is to be a Ruth in every way. I have had my Mara moments. They have to happen. Some amazing Ruth’s have helped me along the way, so I pray that they were strengthened in their ability to encourage in my moments of mourning. 

 I trust that my Savior used even my weak moments for good. 

 But now, I want to be a Ruth. I want to make that choice. I am praying that same strength over this new little baby Ruth in our church. The strength to share Hope even when it seems too far away. The ability to let Joy overflow onto others so passionately that they can’t help but absorb it. The Trust to grab ahold of Jesus’s hand and let Him lead even when the path is hard to see. 

 Be a Ruth my friends. Share your Mara past with others and help them overcome, but choose to be a Ruth. 

 Be blessed my friends, in both the rain and the sunshine, with the reminder of the promise that He is with you just like He was with Ruth and Naomi. (And Mara too)

Made perfect in weakness

 When I was a young girl there was a song sung by Twila Paris that, especially after I was diagnosed with diabetes, summed up my desire, my goal, for everything I wanted to be. Everything I hoped for my future was based around the ability to sing that song and mean it. 

I have pasted a link to YouTube and encourage you to listen to it. It is called The Thorn and is based around 2 Corinthians 12:7. 

“So to keep me from becoming conceited because of the surpassing greatness of the revelations, a thorn was given me in the flesh, a messenger of Satan to harass me, to keep me from becoming conceited.” 2 Corinthians‬ ‭12:7‬ ‭ESV‬‬

 The ESV fits the song, calling it a thorn, but the MSG simplifies the meaning so nicely. 

 “I was given the gift of a handicap to keep me in constant touch with my limitations. Satan’s angel did his best to get me down; what he in fact did was push me to my knees. No danger then of walking around high and mighty! At first I didn’t think of it as a gift, and begged God to remove it. Three times I did that, and then he told me, My grace is enough; it’s all you need. My strength comes into its own in your weakness. Once I heard that, I was glad to let it happen. I quit focusing on the handicap and began appreciating the gift. It was a case of Christ’s strength moving in on my weakness. Now I take limitations in stride, and with good cheer, these limitations that cut me down to size—abuse, accidents, opposition, bad breaks. I just let Christ take over! And so the weaker I get, the stronger I become.”

‭‭2 Corinthians‬ ‭12:7-10‬ ‭MSG‬‬

 That scripture passage has meant a lot to me, always. But for some reason just a few nights ago it was brought to the forefront, heavily, again. 

 I am part of a Wednesday night ladies Bible study group. We are reading a book together, discussing what God is teaching us and sharing our burdens. All different ages, stages of life, backgrounds and I suppose different futures as well. Simply women. In the opening prayer, as a wonderful woman of God was lifting requests and giving thanks, I had impressed upon me SO STRONGLY the need to “thank Him for the thorn” of Covid. 

 Thank Him for Covid. 

 I wrote that, immediately, on a piece of paper in my devotional. 

 

“Thank you for Covid!? It made us be still and quiet for just a moment. Remind us of that.”

 Notice, I had to add a “?” at the end of the first statement. As I wrote that first line I wasn’t sure that I could mean it. However, God never stops with just the first line if we are listening. 

 I have mulled the whole thing over for a few days, and have been pulled back to the verses in 2 Corinthians over and over. That thorn, that handicap, was given for a reason. His strength is made perfect in my weakness. If I think I am strong, if I think I can do it on my own, then I am not letting Him be the strength. 

 Remember that, please, when you have a thorn poking at your side. Remember also thorns come in many different packages. 

 That last line that I wrote, “remind us of that”... I want to mean it. 

I don’t know, not really, if I meant “remind us to be still and quiet” or “remind us to be thankful”, but I want to mean both. 

 I am choosing to mean both. 

 Beautifully, this verse from Psalm 46:10 was placed directly in front of me as a confirmation of both. 

Be still. 

Know, and trust, that He is God and we can be THANKFUL for even more than we want to recognize. 

As Twila Paris sings, 

Thank you for this thorn   fellowship of pain
Teaching me to know you more   never to complain
Thank You for this love   planted in my side
Faithful patient miracle   opening my eyes.

 Remember to be still and quiet, for just a moment, and then to be thankful for that moment even if it was painful. 

 Be blessed my friends as you choose to trust Him today. Know that you are loved, always. 

A simple reminder

 

Dear restless heart, be still; don’t fret and worry so;

God has a thousand ways His love and help to show;

Just trust, and trust, and trust, until His will you know. 

Dear restless heart, be still, for peace is God’s own smile,

His love can every wrong and sorrow reconcile;

Just love, and love, and love, and calmly wait awhile. 

Dear restless heart, be brave; don’t moan and sorrow so, 

He has a meaning kind in chilly winds that blow;

Just hope, and hope, and hope, until you braver grow. 

Dear restless heart, repose upon His breast this hour,

His grace is strength and life; His love is bloom and flower;

Just rest, and rest, and rest, within His tender power. 

Dear restless heart, be still! Don’t struggle to be free;

God’s life is in your life, from Him you may not flee;

Just pray, and pray, and pray, til you have faith to see. 

                                                               Edith Willis Linn

That picture has been my Facebook photo for several years now. It, quite simply, is my goal. I don’t succeed, but the goal is renewed every morning with the fresh new day. This poem struck me as a beautiful summary. 

 My restless heart forgets the goal, over and over, but we are reminded to trust and love and hope and rest and, most importantly, pray. 

 So, that is my reminder to you. Stop for a moment and let all of those goals be remembered. 

 Trust.

 Love. 

 Hope. 

 Rest. 

 Pray. 

 As always, I will add the reminder of my favorite- seek Joy my friends. One breath at a time! 

One good moment at a time

I tried to write this post several weeks ago but it didn’t have an ending, it didn’t have a conclusion. Andy said that it “was fine”, which is about as ugly as he gets about my writing. So, it didn’t get published. Instead it simply got pushed to the back and ignored. 

It is strange, really, what you discover while you wait. Or perhaps, more accurately, what you learn yet again. 

 I have had John 5, and especially the man by the pool, brought to my attention several times recently. Repeatedly, really. 

 For anyone who doesn’t know that story... there was a pool in Israel where the water would sometimes seem to stir, to move, without any human understanding. The first one who could dunk themselves in that moving water would often receive a miracle. Those who were sick, who needed a miracle, would often congregate around the pool, hoping and praying for the water to stir and for a miracle to occur. 

 However, tradition held that for them to receive the miracle, they had to be the first one in. So, even though there was joy, there was always sadness there too. 

The gospel of John says “One man was there who had been an invalid for thirty-eight years. When Jesus saw him lying there and knew that he had already been there a long time, he said to him, “Do you want to be healed?” The sick man answered him, “Sir, I have no one to put me into the pool when the water is stirred up, and while I am going another steps down before me.” Jesus said to him, “Get up, take up your bed, and walk.” And at once the man was healed, and he took up his bed and walked. Now that day was the Sabbath.” John‬ ‭5:5-9‬ ‭ESV‬‬

When I say this verse was “brought to my attention”, I mean in every way. A Sunday morning sermon, of course. A friend highlighting it on the Bible app so that I see it. It coming up in a devotional I am doing alone and also one with a friend. Then in an actual paper devotional as well, not just the digital ones. Then, just to make sure I was listening, a second paper devotional. 

 

 So, my friends, what am I suppose to learn from the man picking up his bed and being healed? 

 The answer to that is “I still don’t know.” 

 I don’t know what I am suppose to learn specifically from that story. I have had several ideas and I think they have all been “proven” wrong... I still don’t know what exactly I am suppose to be learning right now, from that story. But what I will tell you is that it has made me read more. Search more. Ask more. 

 And what it has led me to is truth, over and over. 

 Learning that “I don’t know” has, in complete honesty, helped me know other things so beautifully. 

 I know I just used it last time I wrote, but this verse says so clearly what my Jesus is teaching me right now. The Lord establishes my steps. 

 I can try to plan my course, have my goals, dream my dreams. None of those are evil. None of those are against my God. 

 But The Lord establishes my steps. 

 I either trust that or I don’t. 

 I either live that or I don’t. 

 

That leads to one of my favorite verses.

“Trust in the LORD with all your heart, And lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He shall direct your paths.”

‭‭Proverbs‬ ‭3:5-6‬ ‭NKJV‬‬

 

 “Not on your own understanding”. 

 That sums it up my friends. 

 Trust. 

 Even if you don’t understand. 

 He will lead. 

 If you go back to that first verse I posted, the story in John, there is more to the story. You see, the man who was healed wasn’t brave enough to proclaim it. When he was questioned about technical difficulties he passed the blame immediately, rather than pointing out the obvious good. 

 Perhaps that is the lesson to learn? That one hasn’t been pointed out by any of the devotionals I have read but perhaps that is the one I am suppose to share. 

 Don’t make miracles more complicated, don’t make LIFE more complicated than it has to be. 

 Find the good. Choose the good. Share the good. 

 Jesus makes it good. 

 Be blessed my friends. One good moment at a time. 

My body is the temple of the Holy Spirit

 It has been over a month since I posted and it is completely my own fault. 

 The internet has worked. 

 My time has been free enough to write. 

 God has even given me words, several times.

 Most of those words are simply gone. Some of them are saved in the notes section of my phone.... but most of them are just gone. 

Why? 

Hmmm....Good question.

I think the simplest answer is that I wanted to be the happy person. I wanted to only share good news and unfortunately good news hasn’t been as strong as I had hoped. 

 Sometimes in the middle of “not good news” the actual, true, undeniable good news gets harder to see. We have all been there and experienced that. JOY gets hidden under sadness and discouragement. Hope is buried under fear. 

 Which leads me to this word of truth...

Who do I think I am to plan my course? Truly. I write this blog about trusting my Savior so I think I better follow through on meaning it. 

 So here I am, five months out from surgery, fairly confident that it didn’t work. September and October were beautiful and full of hope. Then I had 3 seizures in November. Definite, old style seizures. Slightly different, but old style. There were at least 5 in December, and then 5 in January as well, and already 2 so far this month. 

 Which leaves me, as I said, fairly confident that surgery didn’t work. 

 The whole reason I started writing (again) was to talk about this journey, brain surgery. If I only write about what I want to happen then it isn’t really writing about the journey, only the scenic stops along the way. I can’t only write about the scenic stops. That is a cheesy novel, not a story of growth. I have to write about the parts of the journey that aren’t beautiful and aren’t turning out the way I wanted them to. So, I am trying today to write the less than beautiful parts. 

 Fear and trembling will win if we let them. 

 I suppose the simple truth is, we don’t beat them. 

 It is not us who win the battle. We, those of us who are holding to the promise of our Jehovah, do not fight the battle on our own. That means we don’t have to win the battle. Our Savor already has. 

 So, fear and trembling are conquered for us in the end. Pain and sadness are still here, now. Human bodies are broken and human souls make wrong choices. But we do not fight alone and that is enough. 

 That means I have hope my friends.

 I have hope that I, Bethany Ruth, can shine Joy with a broken body. 

 I have hope that I can give love even when it isn’t asked for or returned by the world around me. 

 I have hope that every single morning, no matter what epilepsy, graves’s disease or diabetes has done the night before I can wake up with the ability to share Jesus in a the simplest and purest ways.

 The fruit of the Spirit is truly the simplest goal, but oh so very much the goal. 

Last reminder....

 My friends, don’t forget that important last reminder. 

 Your body IS the temple of the Holy Spirit. 

 Healthy body or broken. Joyful body or mourning. Focused and on track or scattered and blown with the wind. 

 Your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit. 

 Be blessed my friends, then turn around and return those blessings to others. 

Home?

 I sent out a text to a group of local friends today asking for boxes and bubble wrap. It is time for the packing to begin. Just the “pre” stuff. I have to put away most of my decor and make the house less personal (translated= “boring”) and thus easier to sell. 

 Sending that text made me look at the actual date though, then do some counting. I am pretty sure we have broken my record. I have been here longer than anywhere else, ever, in my life. 

 That is always striking, breaking that record. Amusing, really, considering that the record so far stays at just over three years. But we have been here 3 years and 3 months now, and I think it was only 3 years and  2 months at Fort Bragg, the second time. 

 I could start adding times together? We were at Bragg twice, so I think we got almost 5 full years there, added together. I was in Rome, GA for 3 years of college and two years of working afterwards... but a different dorm room each year and three different apartments after graduation. 

 We were at Fort Leonard Wood twice, but even added together that doesn’t equal an entire year, lol. I wrote a similar blog the first time we were there. 

 

  The point is that places come and go. 

  My thoughts on the matter are summed up beautifully in Hebrews.

 We so often spend too much time focused on this current home. Don’t misunderstand me- I am not saying that caring for your home and children is bad or wrong. I am only pointing out that this is not the final home. This house, big or small, new or old, decorated in just the way you like or barely holding together, this house is not the end of the story. 

 Make it a joyful home. Make it a love filled home. But remember this beautiful Proverb, please. 

Wisdom and understanding far outrank fancy decor and expensive furniture. They outrank the latest healthy food and cleaning fad. They even outrank organization and schedule, because those aren’t the same as wisdom and understanding. I am a huge fan of organization and schedule, don’t get me wrong, but they aren’t the same as wisdom and understanding. Build your house on the wisdom of the Word and striving to understand it, and then trying to understand with the greatest love you can the people who are put into your life. 

 Please my friends, don’t forget where that foundation is!

 Before you know it the children are driving off to college. Or as my mom pointed out, before you know it the grandchildren are driving off to college! And since I have a grandmother going strong in her 90’s, I will add for her “before you know it the great grandchildren are driving off to college.” 

 

 From someone who has never had a physical home for long, focus instead on the people within and the neighbors nearby. The humans have so much more potential to last for the long run! 

 To those of you who have kept up with me through multiple moves, over multiple years: thank you! You have been the hands and feet and voice of Jesus to me, over and over! 

 To those of you who have befriended me each step along the journey: thank you! You also have been the hands and feet and voice of Jesus to me, over and over! 

 So, my friends, live fully. Love your neighbor, whether you have known them for two weeks or 20 years. Be the hands and feet and voice of Jesus, as so many neighbors have been to me over the years. 

 

 Be blessed my friends, with the gentle reminder added: SEE the blessings. 

A gentle reminder

 My dear friends, I have a simple reminder: 

 I will be that kind word. I make that choice. There will always be disagreement and unkindness but you and I make our own choice every single minute. So, be still for a moment and consider what it is you want to be. Who it is you want to be. 

“Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice. Let your reasonableness be known to everyone. The Lord is at hand; do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.”

‭‭Philippians‬ ‭4:4-8‬ ‭ESV‬‬. https://www.bible.com/59/php.4.4-8.esv

 Those verses are quoted often, highlighted often, but in smaller portions, one at a time, broken up into bite size pieces. Look at that whole paragraph of truth, please. Then, grab ahold of it, claim the truth of it, choose to live it out loud where others can see it. 

Please my friends, no matter what label you have claimed here in the world, remember the more important ones that you have. Child of God. Follower of The King. Brother and Sister to every single human, created in His image. And perhaps that verse 5, which so often gets skipped, can stand out. “Let your reasonableness be known to everyone.” 

 Be blessed my friends, with Joy and Peace that cannot be explained in this time of questions and fear and upheaval. Choose to see the Joy and Peace, and lead others to them along the way!

An even more joyful birthday celebration

Merry Christmas (eve) my friends! 

As you eat delicious food and spend time with people that you love remember the reason that we do this.

Celebrate the birth of our Savior with Joy!

 

I will pray for the blessing of Joy to pour over you and out of you. 

Remember that you are loved, by me and even more so by our Savior!

 

A birthday celebration (a few days late)

 My baby is 15 now. 

  Old enough to get his drivers permit in a few days. Old enough to be almost as tall as his dad and have a voice that is almost as deep as his dad’s. He has been taller than I am for several years now. Both my young men have been protective of me always, but my younger one, my Zion, has had a lot of responsibility for me now that his older brother has a job and college classes. He follows through. I want you, anyone reading this, to know how amazing he has been. My children have matured early, with a diabetic, epileptic mother, and they have done a wonderful job. 

 The greatest early Christmas present I ever received!

There are some adorable blogs about him in the years that I was writing often. 

2007, 2 days before his 2nd birthday and barely surviving. 

2008, I wasn’t very good at arranging a blog yet, but Zion was adorable. 

2009, some pictures.

2011, the story linked to in the center of this one still makes me cry every time. 

 He protests against pictures most of the time right now, and took time to deliberately avoid the camera for gift time, but this gift was a surprise and that threw him off enough for me to get a picture of him actually smiling. :) 

Re-using those candles from some other birthday cakes. Poor kid- this mom never wastes and never throws away something that could be used again, lol. 

See what I mean about trying not to smile? 

But... 

I can get him to laugh!

 Take time to celebrate my friends. Remember that. Time flies and before you know it your baby is ready to drive!

If we do not grow weary...

This first verse expresses my greatest desire. It sums up what I hope to be.

I want to be that tree. 

 Branches that reach out and bring shade and protection to others, while producing fruit quietly in the background. Waiting, patiently, with strength.

 I'm not there yet though. I mean, some days I can offer some shade, I hope. Some days I am capable of producing a little fruit, maybe. But I am not the tree that I want to be. 

 I think the main thing I keep having introduced to me over and over is that we are all, every single one of us, less than perfect. 

  Stop and absorb that for a moment please. 

  I am not perfect. 

  You are not perfect either. 

  The people we know and respect and love, well, they are not perfect either.

 

 Sometimes we forget that. Sometimes we ask more of people, and think more of people, and expect more of people than they are capable of being. Then my friend, like every other human for all time, those people we know and respect and love, well, they live their humanness. They mess up. They are less than perfect. Just like us.

 I have had more than a few stories come to my attention over the last year that break my heart. I wish I didn't know them. I wish they never happened. But they did happen. People messed up. Sin was lived out and left it's damage behind.

 Now we, the humans living in the middle of it all, have to figure out what comes next.

 I think I might feel like Elijah did when the brook dried up. I am sometimes afraid that the bad is bigger than the good. I am sometimes afraid that the evil is winning.

This next verse though, oh this next verse!

We are not left beside the brook that has dried up. We are not left in the desert to die. We are promised fresh rain. HIS Words fall like rain, giving us the renewal we need, if we will just seek them. Sometimes they aren’t as clear as we would like, but they are always there. Gentle showers on young plants. 

 Which leads me to this...

 We might feel, some days, that we are growing weary. 

 Don't let that feeling win. 

  Please my friends, keep being the voice of love. Keep being the hands that offer help. Keep being the heart that offers forgiveness, even if the relationship has to change and perhaps the human trust can not be earned again.

 Do not “lose heart in doing good." That is harder than it sounds sometimes, but please, keep trying. 

 I am heavy as I write this, which is why it has been so long since I wrote, but the truth doesn't change. We fail. Every single human one of us. 

 So, every single day get up and try again. Ask Jesus for forgiveness and help. Ask the people you fill your life with for forgiveness and help. Then, tomorrow do it again. 

 Join me in continuing to try, every morning, to make that first verse real.

 Let us "bring forth our fruit", our hope, our joy, in "due season."

 Be blessed my friends, and please, remember to see those blessings. Choose to see the blessings!

Keep running...

 “Keep on keeping on,” as the old saying goes.

 Or, as The Word says, “run with endurance.”

 I planned for my “next post” to be about my sister Kelsey and her family as they move to Kenya. It was suppose to be written days ago and shared in their time of travel. 

 I failed. Instead I had two seizures and was tired and discouraged, and for a few days focused only on myself and my failing body. 

 I think that perhaps that is the point of this blog though. A reminder that, unlike the falsehoods of Facebook and Instagram and all the other quick posts of success we share online, we are all imperfect. 

 Did you hear that my friends? We are all imperfect. Every single one of us. 

 We are called to “run with endurance” but that doesn’t mean we won’t be covered in ugly sweat, or twist our ankle and limp for a while, or fall and skin our knees along the way. Run with endurance doesn’t mean run with perfection. It just means keep getting up and trying again. 

 I saw this George Matheson quote this morning. 

https://quotefancy.com/george-matheson-quotes

 His story is worth reading, even if you only skim the Wikipedia short story. He became blind in his 20’s, at a time in history when blindness kept you from accomplishing anything. Yet, he didn’t let that stop him from sharing love and shining Joy. He wrote books and songs. He was a full time pastor. He held on to passion for Jesus and fullness of life. 

 He held on. 

 That quote calls out to me. I want to, like him, be a rainbow in my cloud. I don’t want to simply have hope for the rainbow, which in itself is beautiful. I want to BE the rainbow for others as they wait. 

 So that is my challenge to you. As you run with endurance, sometimes covered in sweat and limping, remember that you can still be the rainbow for someone else. 

 Be the rainbow, the light and the beauty in the cloud filled rainstorm. 

 I still write this to ask that you pray for my sister and her family. You can read more of their story here. 

 Even more though, I write to encourage you to keep running with endurance. Don’t give up. Sometimes we will limp. Sometimes we will fall. Sometimes we will, perhaps, take the wrong path and have to go back and start afresh. But don’t stop trying to hear our Jesus and go where HE leads you. 

 Be blessed my friends, one small step at a time. Please, take a deep breath, brush yourself off and BE the rainbow shining through the rain.

What do you see?

 I have been quiet again. God asked me to trust Him and sometimes that happens best when I am just quiet. But to give an example of how I have been feeling... I literally cried on my physical therapist last week, about things having nothing to do with physical therapy. 

 As always, my Savior sent me back to The Word and reminded me that HE has filled it with everything I need. 

 Oh, that simple truth. Trust. The next part of that scripture in the NKJV, how I learned it as a child, says “and lean not on your own understanding.” 

 What is my understanding? What do I truly know? When I take a moment to be still and consider that question I am reminded of truth. My understanding belongs only to me. It isn’t the same as Andy’s or Canaan’s or Zion’s. It doesn’t match that of my mother or my sisters or my best friends. The people that I love the most and that I trust to love me still don’t have the same “understanding” as I do. They don’t see from the same angle and don’t have the same set of memories to match it all to. 

 They don’t understand me, not really. 

 I don’t understand me, not really.

 My opinions have changed over time. My experiences have taught me different things as I have lived them. The only truth I truly have, the unchanging and constant truth, is my Jesus. 

 And this sounds political. Interesting that HE has me posting it the day after election while we wait for the counts to come through, since that isn’t the point of this at all. This is medical, as usual. 

 My truth, as always, is that our bodies are temporary. We live. We die. We leave behind what we have done or not done, and the love we have shared or not shared. 

 It has been a rough few weeks. First; Zion is fine, but some blood work gave us a scare and called for more blood work. Stress for a mommy. 

 Andy’s time in airborne decided to show itself and cause some pain. Once again, back to the doc. 

 I am recovering really well from brain surgery, but memory is being problematic. I am training myself to just write everything down. No trusting the brain to remind me- that is what “notes” on the iPhone was invented for, right? 

 But God decided to make sure I truly meant it when I declared Joy above fear and trust in all things. The “C” word made an appearance. 

 I had a mole on my forearm that had changed shape, size and color, so Andy, amazing, wonderful, bossy man that he is, insisted that I get it looked at. Family doc removed a sample, like the 10 or so others through the years and I expected to be done with the whole thing, but no, this one had to be difficult and have cancer show up in it. 

 So, they cut out the whole thing, plus quite a bit more. I really should have educated myself more because this is going to be a much bigger scar than I expected! 

 Short warning- picture of “surgery” to follow. 

Surgery day

They cut out an entire diamond shape around the mole, then stitch it into a straight line. Some of this skin if far away from where it started! 

What I come back to, over and over, is the promise of this verse. This IS the day that the Lord has made.

 It is. 

 Whether we choose to see it that way, or not, is up to us. Whether we choose to rejoice in it, or not, is up to us. Whether we choose to live life fully, or simply survive, is up to us. 

“In some way or another we will have to learn the difference between trusting in the gift and trusting in the Giver. The gift may be good for a while, but the Giver is the eternal love.” F.B.Meyer

 So, my friends, keep choosing what you trust, and how you live that trust. 

 Show Love. 

 Shine Joy.

 Keep Hope. 

 Make your Faith visible. 

 Let Truth, the kind that cannot be hidden and will not be silenced, lead you. 

 Remember that you are blessed, every single step of the way. Even the hard steps. 

Patiently

I have so many words in mind, so many ready to overflow, but...

I have not been given the freedom to release them. 

For some reason God is keeping my words in smaller places. 

Trust me, I still speak, and write, and comment and do my best to let His words flow through my fingers and off my tongue any place I am given permission. But for some reason, the permission to write here isn’t released right now. 

So, “wait patiently“ is all I have to share. 

But I do add the verse below...

  Be ready. When the time comes to say what you believe, and why you believe it, be ready. 

 In the meantime my friends, please, live what you believe out loud. 

Shine your passions. 

Share the truth of the Joy of Jesus. 

Know that I am praying for His Love and Joy to pour out of you day by day. 

It, every moment, is a choice. Choose wisely. 

Being a neighbor

 Almost always during “this season” every four years I want to just hide from the world. Almost always Jesus does not allow me to just hide. You can read what HE had me say in 2008 and 2008, 2012, and 2017, after things “calmed down” haha. 

 So, here goes...

This post is a reminder of the most important commandment. “Love your neighbor as yourself.” 

 Love them. 

 It doesn’t say change your mind and agree with them, so I am not asking for that. 

 It doesn’t say to let them tell you what to do, or think, or believe. I am not asking for that either. 

 It doesn’t even say that you have to like them, not in the way modern America defines like (which seems to be “agree with”?). 

 But it clearly states, no, it commands, that we should LOVE our neighbors. 

 Google the Ancient Greek loves - the beautiful, multiple versions of love. Run them around in your head and ask yourself in honesty, especially as a Christian but even those of you who perhaps read this and are not a follower of Jesus, simply as a human- “Do I have love for my neighbors?”

 Then my friends, move to this next verse, please. 

 “And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise.”

‭‭Philippians‬ ‭4:8‬ ‭NLT‬‬

 Think about “such things”, as the NIV calls them. Why do we have to learn that over and over? 

 Seek them. 

 Find them. 

 Choose them. 

 Even in the middle of an election year, with a pandemic running crazy! 

 That is my challenge to you. Please my friends, love your neighbor. The one directly next door and the one two streets over and the one two states over. Love your neighbor. Then focus on the excellent and praiseworthy. Choose the pure and lovely. Find the admirable and noble. Live the true and the right in visible ways. 

 

 Speak kind words. Share kind actions. Live love out loud, EVEN IF it isn’t being lived back at you. 

 

 I will never stop sending this challenge my friends. 

 Please, please, keep trying to live with JOY.

 Be blessed my friends with the strength and passion to go and live love out loud!