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I am happily married to an amazing military man who spent 9 years enlisted and is now an Officer in the US Army. We have two amazing boys who are not so little any more! They still infuse every moment of every day with creativity and energy, and make my life an adventure.  I was educated at home, and am now teaching our children - second generation homeschoolers! I try every day to become more like Jesus Christ, and to love like HE does. If you want you can try and catch me at bethylovesandy@yahoo.com

My Blog Title Verse

"For the Lord gives wisdom. From His mouth come knowledge and understanding." Proverbs 2:6 NKJV 
The Message translation puts it this way "God gives out Wisdom free, is plainspoken in Knowledge and Understanding."

Verse of the day

Saturday, May 02, 2009

Feelings

 I came to a realization yesterday, and I have been mulling it over in my head during the last 24 hours or so. 

 Let me back up a little. 
 I bake to express myself. When I am happy, I make yummy food. When I am angry, I feel the need to knead bread. When I am sad, or bouncy, or morbid or joyful I bake. That is just what I do. Yet, in the last two months I haven't made hardly anything. 
 It is not uncommon for me to make 4 or 5 things a week. Bread, cookies, pie, biscuits, brownies, muffins. All from scratch. 
 Since Andy has been gone, I am pretty sure I have only made three things, total. 

 Coming to that realization sort of freaked me out. 

 I have been working so hard at NOT being sad, focusing all of my energy on not allowing myself to cry that I have forgotten to allow myself a little room. 
 I'm not saying I haven't laughed, or felt joy at all during these last two months. Or that I haven't felt anger at all. Just that I have kept everything so contained, so tampered down that everything else in my life suffered. 
 Yesterday I decided it was time to start baking again. 

 Today I made cookies, and pie. 
 I also got fired up angry at the Best Buy credit card service department. 
 And I have a humongeous headache. 
 But the food is good. And feeling strongly is worth the headache. 

 It's good to be back. 

5 comments:

Nikowa@KHA said...

I'm that way-well sort of.

If I'm angry, I clean! Girl, I've scrubbed the floor with a toothbrush before!

Needless to say, my house is either dirty or kinda dirty now :)

Anonymous said...

Watch your sugars! It is fine to have emotion, but don't get too crazy!!

Love you,
Andy

Mimi said...

I love Andy's comment above; I was thinking the same thing! But I hear ya, sister. I love to bake when I'm having a mood. Bread is definitely for stress.....and if I'm craving fresh bread....When I'm in a good mood, I like to try a new, complicated recipe or experiment and invent something.
Love you!

Carrie said...

I love to bake thanks to you. I have been trying to avoid it so I don't put back on tons of weight though. I don't have very good self control. Hope you are having a fun time today at the festival.

Marcy said...

It's funny for me to hear you say that you bake so many things in a week that are made with so much sugar. You are the healthiest eater I know! I hope you have lots of neighbors to share with! Happy baking!