Let me back up a little.
I bake to express myself. When I am happy, I make yummy food. When I am angry, I feel the need to knead bread. When I am sad, or bouncy, or morbid or joyful I bake. That is just what I do. Yet, in the last two months I haven't made hardly anything.
It is not uncommon for me to make 4 or 5 things a week. Bread, cookies, pie, biscuits, brownies, muffins. All from scratch.
Since Andy has been gone, I am pretty sure I have only made three things, total.
Coming to that realization sort of freaked me out.
I have been working so hard at NOT being sad, focusing all of my energy on not allowing myself to cry that I have forgotten to allow myself a little room.
I'm not saying I haven't laughed, or felt joy at all during these last two months. Or that I haven't felt anger at all. Just that I have kept everything so contained, so tampered down that everything else in my life suffered.
Yesterday I decided it was time to start baking again.
Today I made cookies, and pie.
I also got fired up angry at the Best Buy credit card service department.
And I have a humongeous headache.
But the food is good. And feeling strongly is worth the headache.
It's good to be back.
5 comments:
I'm that way-well sort of.
If I'm angry, I clean! Girl, I've scrubbed the floor with a toothbrush before!
Needless to say, my house is either dirty or kinda dirty now :)
Watch your sugars! It is fine to have emotion, but don't get too crazy!!
Love you,
Andy
I love Andy's comment above; I was thinking the same thing! But I hear ya, sister. I love to bake when I'm having a mood. Bread is definitely for stress.....and if I'm craving fresh bread....When I'm in a good mood, I like to try a new, complicated recipe or experiment and invent something.
Love you!
I love to bake thanks to you. I have been trying to avoid it so I don't put back on tons of weight though. I don't have very good self control. Hope you are having a fun time today at the festival.
It's funny for me to hear you say that you bake so many things in a week that are made with so much sugar. You are the healthiest eater I know! I hope you have lots of neighbors to share with! Happy baking!
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