It has been a little crazy here. Saturday we had our first visit with the lady who is doing our homestudy for the adoption. It was both wonderful and terrible. Wonderful, because she is a woman of God, and let us know that she takes every one of her cases before the throne of God, and prays for his guidance and TIMING. Terrible because she very realistic, which was slightly depressing. There is still A LOT to do, paperwork that we haven't even seen, physicals that have to be signed off on, and it goes on and on.....
In other news, Gifty has pneumonia. That is never good, but on top of already being so sick, it is just dreadful. I guess it is never a good idea to blog when you are already discouraged, but I am feeling very very discouraged right this minute. It might have something to do with the fact that I am sick too. Sneezing, sniffling, achy head. Last night I was feeling bad enough that I actually took Benadryl. That is pretty serious for me to take meds. They pretty much knocked me out. I dreamed about "The Hill" (for those of you who are not from Rome, GA, that means Shorter College). In my dream, I was driving down the main hill, in my old Nissan Sentra, back before they put in those annoying speed bumps. I was waving goodbye, and it felt so final. I woke up feeling sad, like something had just ended, and I didn't know what the next step was. I don't know what starts next.
I know it was just a dream, and it was probably just the Benadryl talking, but it has left me feeling sort of confused and unsure. What did it mean? What is over? What am I supposed to be saying goodbye to, letting go of?
I should probably go to bed. Please, pray for Gifty. I hate that she is hurting. It literally makes me hurt to think about her.
5 comments:
I am so sorry about the home study not being as uplifting as I am sure you had hoped. Who knew it was so involved?
I think you are probably run down and just EXHAUSTED! What a busy and draining past few months you have had! I am so sorry...I hope you get lots of rest and feel better soon...
Get some rest my dear!! I love you!!!
Everything always looks more discouraging when you are sick. God is still in control and He is still leading you, even through this rough patch! I am praying for you all!
Naomi
I hope that you get to feeling much better soon. I will be praying for you Bethany. I know that this is so important and also stressfull for y'all.
Ah, I remember the days before those wretched speed bumps...
I am praying for you and your family. I know you must feel terribly discouraged, but please don't (I also know that it may be easy for me to say). Quite possibly your sub-conscience is telling you to say good-bye to the life you have now for a better future with more children. You know, I don't know, but maybe it is possible. I love you and miss you dearly. I hope you feel better soon!
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