A questionable post

 I have been debating with myself whether or not to write tonight.

 

 But I don't yet want to go to that empty bed by myself, so here I am. 

 Today was D-day. 

 Which stands for Deployment, in case you haven't figured that out by now. 

 At some point in time someone told me that "The more times you do it, the easier it gets." 

 They lied. 

 Or maybe they didn't. Maybe it did get easier for them. Maybe they grew less attached to their husband as time passed. Maybe he deployed a little less often, so they had longer to recover in between time. Maybe their children were older, or younger, or loved their daddy less. 

 Whatever their story was, it isn't our story. I don't think it has gotten any easier. The first time may still qualify as the hardest - basic training was the worst, because I didn't have any kids to keep me distracted. The house felt really really empty at night and I can promise you that I did not eat enough healthy food since I was only feeding myself. 

 I have my boys now to keep me eating healthy, and cover me with hugs. I have them to wear me out so that I tired enough to sleep, even though the bed is lonely. 

 But I don't think there is anything more heartbreaking then hearing your five year old say, between sobs that he is manfully trying to swallow, "Every time he says Afghanistan, I cry." 

 That makes it harder.

 His ability to understand time is suddenly a detriment. Zion cheerfully gave Andy a hug, waved goodbye, and that was that. He has complete trust that Daddy will be back. In his mind, six months is no different then tomorrow. But Canaan has an understanding of time, and it hurts him. Understanding brings pain. 

 Makes we wish I could erase time and take him back - can't he just be three again? 

 But we made it. Canaan, Zion and I. The day is over. Bedtime is here. In fact, bed is calling to me. Since I only slept about 3 hours last night, I should be very ready to sleep tonight. 

 

 And tomorrow is another day. 

 My parents are here, ready to take me to Florida to visit my grandparents. 

 Please, pray for Andy. Pray that his knees are comfortable, crammed into an airplane while he tries to sleep. Pray that he doesn't catch any crazy flu bugs. Pray that he does his job safely and efficiently. Most of all, Pray that he shines Jesus, every minute of every day, NO MATTER WHAT. Because that is what he wants to do most of all. 

 Blessings my friends.  

Happy moments

....cleaning out the pantry.

 I have been trying to get ready to move the last few weeks. As I try to use up all the stockpile of food, I found this bottle of sparkling juice that I had bought for New Years Eve.

I am not sure why it didn't get used then, but it didn't. So there it was, just sitting there. We decided to have a celebration. (sorry about the sideways picture... it loaded that way, and I am too lazy to go back and reload it again!) 

 I promise that if you look, you can find something to celebrate. Always. 

Cheers everyone!

Another trip to the ER!

Yes, you read that right. 

 For the second time this week, our family has visited the Emergency room. It is quite sad, really. My diabetes decided to act up this morning. It truly wasn't the worst it has ever been, but it was the worst Andy has ever seen it - I guess he has been deployed every other time that I have passed out/blacked out/lost my mind because of a low blood sugar. I guess I started acting weird on the way to church, so he told me to check my sugar level - I got out my machine, pricked my finger, then just sat there in a daze. Then I did it again. I don't remember anything, for at least 5 minutes, probably more. Last thing I remember we were just leaving Hahira. He says we got half way to church (which is 15 minutes way) before he turned around and headed the opposite direction toward the hospital. We were only 5 minutes from the hospital when I suddenly "woke up" and said, "where are we?" 

 I knew what was wrong with me. It has happened before. It isn't too common, but it has happened before. But since Andy had never seen it, he sort of freaked out. The doctor at the ER pretty much just said... duh. Which I expected. But it made Andy feel better to take me there... so, oh well. After I ate something to get my sugar up, and they checked me for any other blaring problems, (besides the long list I had already filled out) he noted my heart murmur, (which I had forgotten to mention), then he pretty much said "go home, get some rest, try not to be stressed". 

 So it really wasn't a good start to the day - It was Andy's last Sunday here, and we were looking forward to visiting with our friends - That didn't happen. 

 

 Then, our day got better.

 We got an offer on our house. 

 That was just the news we needed, at that exact moment. After spending the morning feeling physically incapable of taking care of myself, and knowing that there was absolutely no way that I could stay here, in S. GA by myself, it really felt like a blessing from God to have someone want to buy our house. 

 I had always planned to stay with my parents while Andy was gone, but the house was still hanging over my head - grass to mow, electric and water bill to keep track of, dust that would need to be "dusted" at least once a month, what to do about the house plants, etc etc etc. Now that we have an offer on the house, all of those little stresses just seem somehow less. 

 There are still details to iron out. Closing will take at least 30 days. I will have to do that without Andy - Thank goodness for power of attorney! But now that I KNOW that the house is going to sell (think positive!) I know that I have to take my plants to Mom's house. I don't have to worry about mowing the yard. And I can turn off the electricity and water. 

 Little details - little stresses. But they add up. So getting an offer on the house was a huge relief. 

 There are only a few days left before Andy leaves. 

 I am doing my best to just enjoy him. 

 Strangely enough, that is hard to do. I think too much. I am making a conscious effort to turn off my brain, and just live these last few days. I need that. He needs that from me. If you think about it, I would really appreciate a few prayers. 

 Thanks my friends~

A fabulous quote

 I was going to just put this in the "quote of the week" section, but I am not sure if anyone actually every looks at that, and this quote demanded, insisted, screamed at me that it must be read. 

 So please, read, and hear God's voice. 

 I did. 

 "We may have as much of God as we will. Christ puts the key of the treasure chamber into our hand, and bids us take all that we want. If a man is admitted into the bullion vault of a bank, and told to help himself, and comes out with one cent, whose fault is it that he is poor? Whose fault is it that Christian people generally have scanty portions of the free riches of God?" McLaren

 Drink and be thirsty no more. Eat, until you are no longer hungry. Don't be afraid to ask, because our God has everything, EVERYTHING, we need... and He is happy to provide it. So please, let's open up our hands, hold them up and receive. 

 Because really, "Whose fault is it" that we are poor? I think we know the answer to that question. 

Side note: if you do not know the kind of riches I am talking about, or the definition of poor that I use here - please, feel free to ask. But I do not talk about gold, or dollars, or anything you can purchase on the stock market. Just FYI! 

A day at the ER

 This is one of those posts that begins with "Let me just say first, EVERYONE IS OKAY". 

 With that being said, yesterday was really not much fun, since Canaan and I spent five hours in the E.R. 

 FIVE HOURS 

 That is enough to make anyone exhausted. And someone who's husband who is about to deploy, and who is already emotionally "on edge".... let's just say that I wasn't a pretty "sight" when it hit about 11 pm last night. Poor Andy! When it was all over and done with, and the kids were safely in bed, and nothing was actually "wrong" anymore, I had a melt down. Sobs that shook my whole body, tears running down my face, and strangely enough, not any pin-pointable reason as to why. I had just reached the end of my ability to function, and I needed a good cry. 

 I think I feel better now! 

 But back to the original story... poor Canaan. It is slightly embarrassing, poor kid! He had a swollen testicle over the weekend, but he said it didn't really hurt, and the clinic was closed for President's Day... I pretty much just forgot about it. But after his bath on Tuesday night, I noticed that it was even more swollen, and getting hard, and he said it was tender. None of those seemed like good things, so I called the doctor first thing Wednesday morning. 

 Through a series of phone errors and after me driving all the way to base and just marching myself and my boys into the clinic (after waiting two hours for a call back that was supposed to take 10 minutes) the nurse on call finally talked to me. They had no appointments available on base, but after I talked to the nurse, she insisted that I take him to the Emergency Room. 

 Back in the car we loaded, and here is where I will admit something terrible. I did not take that nurse very seriously. We were already on base to run errands - I had 4 that I wanted to do - and since my library movies were already overdue, I decided to knock one of those errands off my list and return my books and movies. I did not run my other three errands. I only went to the library. But looking back on it now, I suppose that could have been a bad idea! 

 That was a quick stop, we loaded up once again, and as I drove into town I realized that I was about to drag my fairly healthy children into a pit of germs. On purpose. Alarms started flashing in my head, and I went into emergency mommy mode. 

 Thank goodness for really good friends. I called my friend Mary, and I said, "Are you busy?" She could have said, "Yes". She could have said, "Why do you ask?" She simply said, "No, I'm not busy." And that is what makes her a really good friend. Maybe she could hear the panic in my voice. Maybe she is just an angel in disguise. I do know that she saved my sanity, because she was at the library (a different one then I had just left) exactly 1 block from the ER. What are the chances? Hmmmmm... lets think about that. I had been delayed two hours by errors in the phone service. Then, at the exact moment I needed her, my friend was 1 block from where I was going. 

 I think I serve a really generous God! 

 The story could go on and on, but I won't torture you. The worry was that Canaan could have twisted something inside, I think it was called "torsion", which would have required immediate surgery. Luckily, it was just an infection of his testicle. Uncomfortable, but not the end of the world.  

 He was a brave little monster when he had to give blood. He sat through an ultrasound, happily entertained by my gameboy DS. He even peed in a cup. 

 It was a big day for him, but he got to watch cartoons for hours on end, so overall, I don't think he would say it was a bad day! 

 My wonderful Aunt Beth happened to be heading back to FL, at the exact same time, so she came and sat with me for several hours, then Andy came when he got off work. So, I didn't even have to be brave and alone much at all. 

 Mary kept Zion all day long. Canaan and I finally got to eat around 6 that night, since we had never really had lunch! We went to get Zion and just crashed at poor Mary's house! Luckily, Andy was willing to run to Zaxby's and get food. After it is all over, it is easier to say...

 Life is good. Oh yes, life is good. Exhausting.... but absolutely wonderful. 

A lazy night

A copy from Facebook. 

I have been tagged 12 times, so I am giving in and doing this. Besides, it will be fun. The idea is to type 25 random things about yourself, tag 25 people, and then they are supposed to repeat the process. I tagged the 12 who tagged me, plus a few more. Enjoy! 1. I LOVE to read, absolutely anything I can get my hands on, from the cereal box in the morning to God's amazing word, and pretty much everything in between! It is therapy for me, besides, it is an addiction... 2. I wanted 13 kids (a baker’s dozen) when I was younger. As many different skin colors as I could find. Now I would settle for six kids - but I don't think I am going to get them. We'll just see what God and I can talk Andy into. 3. I am the oldest of four sisters, and I LOVE my little sisters to death. They are some of my best friends. 4. My Mom is one of my other best friends. Has been since I was 15 years old. Somehow, it wasn't weird, even through the teen years. I just love how that worked out! 5. I am not quite 30 years old, and have lived in 25 different places (NOT including 4 college dorms, plus, a couple of places I have moved into and out of more then once) That is a lot of moving! 6. Someday, I am going to run for U.S. Senate. Be ready to vote for me! 7. I am a blogging maniac - come visit me at http://proverbs2six.blogspot.com I try to post every day, so there is always something new! 8. I really want to jump out of a plane someday. But Andy does not... 9. Andy is getting ready to deploy, again. Sadly, I am getting to be a pro at living without him around. It makes me appreciate him when he is around though! 10. I love to sing. All the time. Randomly, about anything and everything. 11. I really want to visit every continent - (except Antarctica). I am half way done with that goal. I need Africa, S. America and Australia still. 12. I loved being a preacher/missionaries kid. Sure, it was frustrating to move a lot, but at the same time, it was inspiring, and I got to meet a lot of people, and see a lot of places, and learn a lot of things. My childhood was great. 13. I play the piano. I tried to learn other instruments (guitar, recorder) ... but the piano is the only one that stuck. 14. I was homeschooled for almost my entire education. (all but K, 1st and 3rd) Now I homeschool my boys. I don't have anything against other schools. I just loved being at home, and now love keeping my boys home with me! Why mess with what works? 15. I was an education major for my first 2 years of college, then I switched to Psychology/child development. 16. After all that switching, I ended up teaching preschool after I graduated! 17. I grind my own fresh wheat into flour to make my bread. I'm sort of a hippie. 18. I am obsessed with taking pictures. 19. Music is one of my favorite things. Keith Green changed my parents lives… and just kept right on changing mine too! 20. I have been diabetic since I was 12. That is a long time to take insulin, but thank goodness for it! 21. I am terrified of spiders. It is a sad sad thing. 22. I ate Tempeh once. It was disgusting. 23. I was a vegetarian for about 4 years. I still have leanings in that direction. 24. My Mom totaled my first car by running into it with her van. How many people can say that? 25. After this next deployment, I think my husband will have been to more countries then I have. I am going to have to do something about that! Perhaps a trip to Africa, to bring home my next child?

The lack of adoption news

 Just a quick note about our adoption. It seems that every time we think we are getting somewhere, we hit another road block. But, we continue to hold out hope. Just the other day I convinced Andy that it really would be a good idea to go ahead and bring home two while I am over there... 

 I'll keep you posted on that idea. 

 In the meantime, I wanted to link everyone to a Gifty update. Please, go see her adorable, growing, so much healthier self. 

 Please pray for our "little sister". Since we aren't sure what we are going to call her, the boys have taken to just calling her little sister, and for now, it has stuck. We'll cross that bridge when we come to it. 

 I just want to hold her. Soon. 

 I'm sorry this is lacking in any real news, but we don't actually know anything still. I promise, when we know something, I will pass it along. I am ready to know something... trust me! 

Blessings, Bethany

A different side of Andy

 Through my Crosshairs

by Andrew Freeman

 

Through my crosshairs, then I see,

the need for more humanity.

He is my brother, and I am his,

we fight, I’m not sure why this is.

 

He has his thing and I have mine,

where we derailed I cannot find.

I wish we could stop this war we wage,

and end with all this useless rage.

 

He has his faults, as do I,

but this is not an alibi.

I hope someday, we’ll find an end,

to all the suffering and learn to bend.

 

Through my crosshairs I hope to discover,

peace from a war, and solution uncover.     

Valentines day - A recap

I have lots to say, but Andy is still in the country, and right now, spending time looking at him takes priority. 

 After he leaves, I will write so much that people will get really really tired of my words. Right now, he gets most of my time. 

 However, I can't quit cold turkey. (I am slightly addicted!) 

 

 My Valentines Day was fabulous, if slightly non-traditional. Andy and I did the "romantic" thing a little early. I had visited the "secret store" a few weeks ago, and we went out for dinner at a Japanese Steak house (very very cool!) on the 13th, and he even bought me a really comfy, yet cute, new robe (since I have been wearing an old flannel one that use to belong to my dad - very not sexy!). So when Sat. rolled around we were already done with the "love stuff". 

 But, my wonderful husband had one more surprise to throw in - when he ran out to Walmart to pick up potatoes so we could make homemade French Fries, he bought me a card too. He was making fun of all the guys standing around the card and candy aisle, desperate to find something last minute - but he said he didn't feel like he had to buy something, (since he already had) so it was okay for him to be buying it last minute. I love how his brain works!   

 

 Anyway... the Thompsons stopped by for a second on their way home from Disney, and the kiddo's got to give then their Valentines. But the best part of the day was that my Mommy and Daddy came! We got to eat dinner together, and have yummy desserts, and celebrate love! 

 After the kids were in bed, we were all just sitting around talking. At one point I got up and went to the other room for a second, and when I came back I just stood in the doorway for a second and listened to three of my favorite people talk to each other. There is something so very soothing to know that the people that you love the most, also love each other. When I first fell in love with Andy, he was mine only. But bit by bit, over the years, he has become more then that. He is theirs too. My parents love Andy also. 

  Now, he already has his "own family", who already love him. That is a totally different story, and I would never try to take away from that love. More love is just more love. It doesn't take away from other love. It just adds to it. And that is beautiful. 

 I must admit that a small part of me, that ugly part deep inside, was slightly jealous. Those three people are all supposed to love me most. So for a split second, I had to be slightly jealous that they all love each other so much! Then I remembered...  "More love is just more love. It doesn't take away from other love. It just adds to it" 

So in the end, my Valentines Day was beautiful. Full of love. The real kind. 

A surprise

I had a wonderful surprise yesterday. 

 My favorite aunt, Beth, was on her way home from Florida. She decided to just "drop by" and see me!! You should have heard the screaming!! I can get really loud when I am excited. 

 You see, Beth and I have always been close. I don't really know why - I think she just joined the family at exactly the right moment for me. I was very very young still, and she was ready to love me. My other aunts already had kids of their own, so, although they loved me, they didn't have the time or energy for me that Beth had. Besides that, Beth and I shared a name. I was proudly Bethany, where she was only Beth, but still, it was very much a common bond. 

 I was a flower girl in her wedding, and worshiped my aunt from day one. When she had children of her own, they were almost exactly the same ages as my younger sisters, Kelsey and Mary, so visits to the cousins house were always pretty easy. 

 She was born and raised Catholic, and exposure to her slightly different way of viewing the world, in my sheltered protestant childhood, helped make me broader, and balanced. 

 When she found her birth family as an adult, while maintaining a wonderful relationship with her adopted (real) family, it reconfirmed to me my desire to adopt - and helped get rid of some of those fears that "someday my adopted kids will grow up and think I am not really their parent". 

 She has helped me define what I believe. She had helped make me who I am. 

 I love my Aunt Beth. 

 When my Uncle Dave divorced her just a few months after Andy and I got married, I sobbed like a baby. I ranted and raved, and seriously considered kicking him where the sun don't shine. 

 Then, I decided that Beth will always be my aunt, and my favorite one at that, (no offense to my other aunts!) because I choose to make her my aunt. She is in my heart, and that is where it matters. 

 Her visit was a wonderful surprise - I wish it hadn't been a surprise, so that I could have cleaned my house, and not had pre-deployment Camo gear all over everything. But it was still a wonderful surprise. Luckily, my aunt Beth loves me, even if my house is a mess! She stayed for a quick bite to eat, gave me some realtor advice so hopefully we can sell this house, then hit the road again. She wanted to get back home to her wonderful new hubby before Valentine's Day, and Indiana is a long way from where we live! 

 Aren't surprises fun?!

Sleepover - part 1

 Canaan has a friend sleeping over tonight. This is the first time we have tried this adventure. Canaan spent the night at a friend's house once, but this is the first time he has had a friend spend the night with him. 

 They had a fabulous time playing this evening, ate dinner, read stories, said their bedtime prayers...

 Then they started to talk, and talk, and talk. 

 Andy told them to be quiet. 

 I told them to be quiet. 

 Finally Canaan announced, "This sleepover thing is not as fun as I thought it would be. You just go to sleep!"

 It seems that no one had informed him of that fact! 

We finally separated them into different rooms, leaving Zion, who had peacefully slept through all of the talking, in the bunkbed with our friend Cole, and putting Canaan in the "guest room". Around 9:45, all was finally quiet. They are all dreaming about breakfast now - I guess I should head to bed, and be ready to cook!

Faith moving forward

 For 40 years in the desert, the Israelites woke up every morning, and looked toward the tabernacle. If the cloud was still, they remained where they were. If it moved, they packed up all their stuff, and moved too. 

 

 Every day ~ for 40 years. 

 As simple as that.

 There was no question about whether they would obey or not. (well, actually, there was, but there wasn't supposed to be. I guess the same thing could be said about us some days? Maybe? Just a thought...) Sometimes they were stay someplace for just a day or two. Sometimes they would stay for weeks, or months, or years. But every day, they had to look, and see ~ What was the direction of the cloud that day? Did it move, or stay still. And that was a key thing there - sometimes it moved. Sometimes it didn't. The moving was important. But so was the staying still. God calls us to both ~ I think that is easy to forget sometimes. Stillness is harder to accept at times - action seems more noble, more worthwhile, less wasteful, something! 

 I loved the quote at the end of one of my devotional readings this morning "God ordered the lives of the Israelites. And he'll order yours if you will let him. If you need to know which way to turn, look up" 

 When the Israelites were getting ready to enter the promised land, they packed up all there stuff (once again), put it on their backs, and started to walk. And here is where it gets interesting. The Jordan River was in the way. God did not clear the path first. He did not make the way wide open and ready. No easy going for his followers. 

 But, "as soon as the soles of the feet of the priests... shall rest in the waters.... the waters... shall be cut off".  

 

 AS SOON. 

 Not 10 minutes before. Not 10 minutes later. Not even 1 minute later. As soon. 

 The Israelites had to take that step, into the water, in order to see the Jordan move. 

 We need to learn to do the same thing. Take that step, into whatever it is God is leading us toward. 

 Anyone who reads this blog already knows that I love Streams in the Desert. One of the quotes in it this morning that really hit me was, "Faith that goes forward triumphs". 

 So today, let's take a deep breath, look up to see where the cloud leads us (or perhaps tells us to stay?) and then let our faith triumph. 

Just some pictures

The boys, just being boys.

Look at that dirty face! 

I call this picture, "crooked grin"- doesn't he just look like he is up to something?

As always, they want to be like Daddy - busy working on a project! 

I just love this picture.

Concentrating so hard...

Aren't they cute?

Laughing in the tub!

The person my boys are always trying to copy...

Canaan wanted to be under the truck too.

The thing is, I had to be down on the ground to take these pictures...

I was under the truck so much this weekend, I think I might have actually learned something about mechanics. I know I got dirty enough!

A lesson in faith from a five year old

 Well, my internet is being persnickety. Actually, it is just being plain frustrating. My ISP is being unreliable, and it is very very annoying. Especially when you love the internet as much as I do! 

 

 I had a whole write up for "not me Monday", with pictures to go with it. They won't upload. I can't get the internet to stay connected long enough to upload anything. It will probably take me six tries just to post this. (Which is why I didn't post anything yesterday at all!) 

 

 But, I'm not a quitter, so here I am. Since I can't post pictures, I will just have to tell stories instead. Hmmmm.... Let me tell you what Canaan said the other day. 

 We were getting ready to leave for Wednesday night homegroup at the church. Andy was going to have to meet us there, since he had to work late, so it was just the boys and I. I was running around, late as usual, trying to grab the last minute things, so I told the kids to go get in the car by themselves. It was already dark - and for some reason Canaan has recently decided that he is afraid of the dark, and that caused a stall at the door. But, it also gave us a chance for a whole discussion as to why he was afraid. We got loaded in the car, and had a deep discussion on the way to church. After talking it over, he decided he was afraid of aliens. I don't know where he had heard about aliens, or why he would think they are scary. I certainly haven't been talking about them as scary possibilities, but kids pick up on things from all over the place. I told him that many people don't think they exist at all, and others think they are friendly. So, since none have ever presented themselves, (at least in any proven stories) there was no reason to be afraid of them. He mulled that over for awhile, then announced, with all the wisdom of a five year old, "Since God made the whole world, He's the only one who knows if there are aliens or not."  

 And that was the end of the discussion. 

 I just love the faith and simplicity of that statement. 

 God knows the answer, and that is enough for Canaan. 

 I am trying to have faith like that. 

A night of fun

Our friends Corey and Carrie stopped at our house on their way to Disney yesterday. 

I think they are in need of a vacation... what do you think?

The kiddo's got to eat on the floor, in front of the Veggie Tales. 

They had a fabulous time! 

For some reason this picture is fuzzy, but I have to post it anyway.

Canaan has already declared that he is going to marry Katie when he grows up. I figured it can't hurt to take a few pictures now so we have them for the wedding decor, just in case, right?

After dinner we played Quelf. That has become our weekend ritual lately - if you have ever played it, you know why! It is the greatest game ever!

Although, I must admit, this picture was taken before Quelf was even started. 

It doesn't take much to bring out the silly in Andy. Pretty much, add Corey, and he is guaranteed to be silly. 

Here is a sampling of some Quelf silliness, just in case you are curious. Don't worry if you can't understand what he is saying... it is mostly nonsense anyway. Something about hormonal mountains!

Spring is in the air

The first of my spring bulbs bloomed today. Or at least, I noticed the blooms for the first time today. I hadn't actually been in the back yard for about three days... 

Aren't they just fun? I love the promise that the first flowers of Spring seem to hold. Those blessings of warmth - bare feet, sandboxes, sprinklers and popsicles. 

 It may still be cold right now, but warmer days are coming!

Hope

Some days are harder then others to be a mommy. 

So far this week, since he helped put them to bed Sunday night, Andy has seen our children for approx. 3 and a half hours. Total. All week. It has just been the way the schedule has worked - they have been in bed before he has gotten home every single night, so he has seen them for a few minutes in the morning, and that is it.  

It is starting to show. 

I suppose I should just say it is good practice for the next six months, since they are going to see him a lot less then that during that time, but to be completely honest, I just want to whine a little bit. 

Whine whine whine. 

I feel better now. Thanks for listening! 

Now for the good news... dum dum dum.... Andy's leave got approved!!! That means he has most of next week off, to spend time with us before he ships out! He has to go in for his weapons certification (required before every deployment - which is hard for me. I certainly don't want him to have to shoot anyone! I guess since he has to carry a gun anyway, he better be accurate in how he uses it. I don't want him to shoot his own foot off, or something lame like that. Not that I think he would... that sounded really bad. Please don't tell him I said that!)

 Anyway... other then that one required course, he has next week off. He has to go to his college classes, and has some homework that needs done, but he will be free to just hang out and play with his sons for several hours a day. 

 Prepare to bring on the wrestling! 

 They need that so very very desperately. 

 I need that so very very desperately. 

On Sunday our pastor talked about hope. One of the points he made that really stood out to me was this; "A person can live weeks without food, days without water, minutes without air, but only seconds without hope." 

 That thought has been running around in my head this week - how very vital hope is, to life itself. I try to be a "glass half full" type of girl, and hope is not something I often run short on. But this time, right now before Andy leaves is hard, even for me. 

 It has gotten me thinking how much harder it must be for people who don't have hope. Yes, I whine some. Yes, I am going to miss him so much that it takes my breath away if I think about it too much. 

 But I have a promise that NO MATTER WHAT, I have something to look forward to. I know he will be following God's will, God's plan, God's leading. I don't have anything to fear.

 Nothing. 

That is a wonderful promise, that hope I have. I am so very thankful that I have been given ears to hear, and a heart to understand. 

 I am so very thankful that I have parents to introduced me to God's word when I was very young, and helped me begin to hide it in my heart - where it lives - rather then just leave it on a shelf. 

 Hope is an amazing thing. We may "die" in seconds without it - but we will live eternally with it. 

Do you have hope? I would be happy to share mine with you! Just ask ~ 

Castles in the sky....

Last night before bed, the boys were goofing around (surprise, surprise!)

Zion got his hair cut a while back, and I never really "showed it off". 

It is a little messy, straight out of the bath, but isn't he adorable?

For some reason, Canaan decided to balance things on his head. 

He's such a ham! 

This morning the balancing switched to cereal boxes instead. 

A quick side story... as you all know, Zion has some speech delays. For some reason, it seems that some of his words come out sounding like, "impolite" words. Remember his dog?

Well, he has a new word that very much sounds like a cuss word if you don't listen very carefully. He LOVES to build castles now. Except he cannot say the C in castle, and he pretty much leaves out the "t" all together. You try saying castle, without the c at the front - that is what Zion talks about every day, pretty much all day long. 

Aren't these cool castles?

Who do you love??

 I can't help it, when I hear that phrase, I hear music and start singing along. Pretty much any phrase that can be said by anyone at any given time reminds me of a song.

 Has for years. 

 I am pretty sure that my sisters and I have sung about something or another every single day of our lives. It is harder to do without them, but I am teaching my boys to sing now. Zion now cheerfully sings along to several different ringtones on my phone (Hello Mom and Carrie!) Canaan can sing several of the "old" songs that I grew up with, which excites me to no end. And I have discovered that my boys will fall asleep at night to me playing old hymns and praise and worship music on the piano. A triple bonus! I get to practice, worship, and soothe my kids to sleep, all at the same time. 

 But, back to my original thought... who do I love?

 Of course, there are multiple answers to that question. But today, I would like to talk about my amazing husband, Andrew Ian. 

 On Saturday he got out of class early because his professor was sick. When he pulled into our driveway he noticed that the construction workers were busy next door, putting on a roof. He immediately came in, started a pot of coffee, and ran down to the dollar store to buy some disposable cups (which gave me time to whip up a batch of biscuits) so he could take a little "warm up" break over to the guys who were having to work on a Sat. Andy has to work on Sat. often enough that he knows how it feels - he simply saw what he perceived as a need, and filled it. Oh, how I respect that man! 

 As usual, he takes wonderful care of me also. Since he has a deployment coming up soon, he has been fixing everything possible on my car. He replaced the battery the other day, changed the brake pads a few days after that, and most recently changed some belt.  

 Canaan thought that was one of the coolest things ever, and I have to agree. I may be easily impressed, but, quite simply said, I am impressed! 

 On Sat. night, our big party night, we played a game of Quelf. That game is always loads of fun, but I think my favorite moment had to be the one in which 4 big tough Air Force men ended up having to hold hands!   

 Seriously, that was funny! Not so much because they had to hold hands, but because they had to comment on it, of course! Three of them are Crew Chiefs, (basically, airplane mechanics) which are pretty much down and dirty, nitty gritty guys - two of them don't know Jesus at all. So, the jokes that were made were not always clean, nor kid appropriate, but it was a fun time, and oh, how I enjoyed getting to hang out with some of the people that Andy gets to hang out with every day. It makes his life seem closer to mine. 

 Oh, how I LOVE that man! 

 Of course, on the extreme other side of the spectrum, as I have tried to type this blog he has been flipping channels right next to the computer, driving me CRAZY! Part of that is my fault, since I shouldn't be so easily distracted by the "tube" - but at the same time.... ARGH! Good thing I love him so much! 

I have been watching Not Me! Monday, over at My charming kids, for several weeks now. I have been torn as to whether or not I wanted to participate - surely, not me!  

But this week seems to call for it. For example...

This week, I did not back into the fully loaded trash can which was waiting to be picked up.

I most certainly did not do this in full view of a whole passel of construction guys who are building a new house behind ours, who then did not proceed to visibly shake with laughter at the dumb blonde! 

Also this week, I did not give my kids leftover cake (and icecream) for breakfast one day, simply because it was there, and about to be stale, and I didn't want to waste it.  And they asked nicely. I mean... Not me! 

I would not have used multiple bandaids on a "boo-boo" the size of a dime, for days on end, simply because it keeps the peace. I don't spoil my three year old - Not me!

Besides that, our home is very calm. I am sure that at no point in time during this week would you have heard me say, emphatically, "Canaan, don't sit on your brother" or "Zion, don't throw blocks." 

Not me! 

Have you been perfect this week? If not, maybe you would like to play along with the "Not me Monday" crew too. 

 See you there! 

Lifted up

 As always, I am full of words. 

 I am rarely without words. It is either a blessing, or a curse, depending on the situation, and whom you ask. 

 I had decided a few days ago that I was going to take a break from writing for awhile. 

 I had no noble reasons, no purpose, nothing better that I was planning to do with my time. 

 I was simply discouraged - perhaps it is vanity, perhaps it is selfishness, perhaps it is simply being a human - whatever it was, I was discouraged.

 It seems that God's plans are often not the same as my own! I took Friday night off from writing, mostly to see if I could. After writing (almost) every night for the last two months, it has very much become a habit! 

 Saturday's mail came with a letter from my sister Kelsey. She is in Africa, so every word from her is treasured, because there are sometimes whole weeks when her internet is down and we don't get to talk to her. Anyway, at the end of her letter she said "Bethy, never stop blogging..." 

 Hmmmm....

 But, Saturday was very very full. We had 28 people at our house that night for "Andy's last hurrah" before he deploys. Our house really isn't made to hold 28 people, but we made it work - more on that later. The point of that story is that I didn't blog on Sat. either. I didn't even log onto the computer, all day long. That is pretty much a minor miracle right there! 

 Two whole days off - no words. 

 God wasn't done with me yet. In the middle of church this morning, I had turn my sermon notes over and start a new column of notes: "things to blog about". Andy elbowed me, thinking that was disrespectful to the sermon, but I promise, that column was just as much God's word as the points the preacher was making. 

 When I finally got around to checking my E-mail this evening while we (read Andy) were/was watching the Super Bowl, (Sad times there, poor Cardinals) I noticed that I had a new comment on my blog. 

 It seems I had been nominated for an award on Internet Cafe Devotions. I was very surprised. Deeply honored. And so very encouraged. (I am listed as Proverbs 2:6 on their list)

 I needed that little bit of encouragement. Some of these blogging words are mine. Often I just get on here, and ramble on about nothing. 

 But sometimes these words are not mine. They are God's. These fingers are just tools. They type, but my brain isn't always in charge. 

 

 Today I am renewed.

 I am blessed. 

 I am encouraged. 

 God's timing is ALWAYS perfect. 

 A letter from Africa. A comment from an encouraging website. 

 So I will write. And I will listen. I am will pray continually that God will use these fingers, because that is my goal. 

Please check out the other blogs on the list, including the blog of my good friend Carrie. And if God has put words in your heart, let them out. Please! You'll feel so much better, even if no one else comments on them, or even ever reads them. Let them out!